Shayba's P.O.V.
My first day in home was officially ruined by all my family members' joint endeavors, but the latter ones have been really awesome. I caught up with my school friends and spent a quality time with them.
Most important thing is, Annaba got chance in her ever dreamt medical college Alhumdulillah! It was now time for us to share every moment of this month together and revel to the fullest. As she is soon going to move to her hostel, I and Nawsheen tried our best to do everything we can in our limits so that she doesn't start bewailing over her uncertain future.
To be honest, the fact that she is going completely turned into the consummation of all the members of our family as it suddenly hit them that they too are getting older with her. Our little Annaba is not little anymore. She is going to live by her own from now on. She needs to cook by herself, wash all her clothes by herself, sweep the floor by herself and many more to come. There won't be helping hands with her as she has now at home. In our house, she is the one who gets pampered and cared the most, even when it's unnecessary. She is someone who always jumps around like a kid and seeks for everyone's attention. So it's natural to dread over the fact that shortly she is going to pass through all the chores that she never for once in her life did by herself.
Hence being a responsible elder sister, I had to take her to shopping, visiting theme parks, then shopping again, giving treats in all the new restaurants in town where she never went before and then shopping again. She pretended as if she was going to die within one month and therefore needed to fulfill her every single wish in such a small period. Pampered she is, mom and dad immediately said yes to her every request. Whining for one whole month, she even acquired an iPhone10 from Bhaiya who was uttermost pestered with her whimpering.
I just keep looking at her and sometimes think if she is really my sibling or not. I mean how can she be so different from me? I can't even ask for a single penny from my mom without stammering embarrassingly. And on the other side, she keeps nagging to mom and dad until her self-interest is gained.
So now being done with all my duties towards her, I can sigh in relief and rave in rapture. It's finally time for my picnic! Woohooo!!
I equipped my luggage according to the list I made weeks ago. To be honest I really was in need of mom's help for doing this job accurately but the fact that we are not in good terms at all since our meeting with Mr. Siam, I never for once asked her for her help, neither did she came to help me out.
I don't know what on earth made this guy say Yes to this marriage. He not only said Yes but also said to mom that he was keen on waiting for my answer hoping that it would be a Yes from my side too. From where did he get such inspiration to marry me? My father's wealth? Well there is no way I'm going to bring dowries with me if you want so!
Obviously I haven't fulfilled his wish yet for which mom still is lecturing me to change my mind and act rational to agree to this marriage. She is awaiting for that eagerly as she thinks her wish would be fulfilled soon so that she can inform his family my final answer several days later. Well, keep waiting guys.
Now I'm in the bus with all my friends and department students heading to Coxs' Bazar. Leaning on the window with eyes on the road, thinking about the circumstances going on in my life while others are nonchalantly screaming, playing guitar, singing, taking selfies and what not. I don't have that kind of temper at all now.
In my mind, subconsciously I kept perplexing over the last proposal which has the sliiiiightest bit possibility of being the last one in my life too, only if I nod my head up and downwards once. Because my whole family appreciated this guy at a single glance. Mom thinks he is the perfect Prince Charming for me while unfortunately dad and Bhaiya are in favour of her.
Well I know that he is qualified. Fair complexion, 5 feet 11 inch tall, 25 years old, has a complaisant job, comes of a well known family and probably handsome too, I never looked at him that way, still as far as I can think of, he is an all in one package. And THIS is what I am pissed off with. Why can't I find a single fault in him?? How can someone be this perfect and yet unconvincing??? He has to get some faults too so that I can easily reject his proposal. But on what excuse? I don't know why my heart is in no mood to say Yes just now.
The fact that I myself am not prepared for being tied to someone just yet is refraining me from doing that. I just started my varsity life. Turned 21 this October. I have my whole life before me to establish a strong career and get some awesome degrees, possibly with scholarships too because I have stood out well in this one year and hold a great possibility of doing even better in the future. But first I need to get the opportunity to! If I sit in a wedlock now, I know no one will regret it more than me later fancying about a prosperous career of my own. I never wanted such a homemaker's life. Never for once, did I want to be dependent on my husband's salary for everything I want. I have to stand on my own legs to earn my living. Anyhow.
But Allah knows why my family is not trying to hear my opinion. Maybe because I am getting spanking proposals now? Mom fears the most that I won't get such spiffy overtures later if I only focus on my studies for now without powdering my skin to look more attractive. Being a typical desi housewife, she doesn't evaluate girls' studies much when she has already passed her college. She thinks it's the best to study after getting married because then parents won't have to ponder over their daughters' safety or character getting ruined by involving into illegal relationships. In fact, the whole society thinks the same, only she can't be blamed.
Hence mom is trying her best to convince me that I can continue my studies after the hymen is completed. But I know very well that clinging onto this hope is totally bogus. Major part of the girls have to leave everything regarding their career in this country for maintaining a healthy relationship with their in-laws as well as for their own motherhood. I can't agree upon this so easily. I gotta fulfill my dreams before anything else.
Abruptly my phone started ringing. My brows made a frown when I took it out of my purse. Unknown number. Who could it be?
"Assalamu Alaikum?"I answered confusingly.
"Walaikumus Salam."a deep male voice spoke,"How are you Shayba?"
"Sorry. Who is it?"
"Shayba,it's me, Siam."
WHAT THE HELL!!!
You will live long mister, I was just thinking of you!
Just kidding. That's a stupid superstition.
"HOW...did you get my number???"I asked trying to keep my cool.
"What do you mean? I have your biodata."
Argh!!! It felt like a volcano was preparing to erupt in my brain soon.
"Why have you called?"
"To ask for your answer, maybe?"
Maybe? Are you kidding me?? You should perceive it very well that if my answer was in the affirmative, I wouldn't have treated you that bad!
"Look,umm I'm in the bus right now. So I can't hear you properly. I'll talk to you later, ok???"
Mom would have killed me by now if I directly said him No.
"You can hear me very well,I know that. Shayba please, we can just give us a chance, can't we?"
Man, he is so obstinate! What has he found in me?!?!? Well obviously, my dad is rich and perhaps going to flood my groom with dowries at his own will. But still..! Didn't I insult him enough??
"Oh please, I'm going to Coxs' Bazar right now with my friends. Just let me enjoy my picnic, okay?? I can think about this later...!"
I heard a loud sigh. And after a pause, he added, "Fine."
Good!
Thanking him I at once cut the call. Oh my dear omniscient Almighty, enlighten me please!! What should I do??? Should I blow away this mind-blowing proposal?? Or Should I just get married now???? Will I regret later losing him?? Or will I thank myself for giving my own career an opportunity??
Oh I'm so messed up! Why isn't my family supporting me at all???? Even Annaba is keeping quiet about this topic. Must have been scolded and warned by mom. There is no one I can pour my heart out to except Allah SWT as my heart echoed again and again,
Ya Allah,I am in the absolute need of the good you send upon me.... I seek your help through patience and prayer..... Please guide me to the path that is best for me and please don't attach my heart to something that's not written to be mine.....
After a long eight hours of journey, we reached Coxs' Bazar. Everyone got down from the bus yelling, "Woohoooo!!! Woah!! It'll be fun!!" where my heart was restlessly palpitating in its confused state.
Zawad bhai, Rashed bhai and some of their batch mates started to guide us to the hotel as they are the ones who have organised this picnic. Having taken my luggage from the bus and fixing my niqab, I started to walk with my friends, though they kept chattering nonchalantly while I was all alone, quiet, puzzled by my life.
The clock said it was already 3 p.m. and the truth is we haven't eaten our lunch yet. My famished stomach outburst with happiness when I heard Zawad bhai shouting, "Attention everyone!! Go keep your luggages in your respective rooms and come downstairs quick!! Your lunch will be served there!!! Okay????"
"OKAY BHAIYA!!!!!"Everyone yelld, well not to be mentioned, except me. My mind was already so messed up with my own stupid problems that I was in no mood to scream.
Oh Allah are all the thousand suitors that mom will bring going to be the same? I'll jump from the roof then!
I followed the instructions as told. Getting fresh and booking a dining table, I waited along for Nadia and others when food was to be served. Suddenly a feeling that someone is staring at me intensely jerked me as I abruptly looked to my right.
Zawad bhai????
What happened???
I questioned him with a frown raising my eyebrows but he contrarily at once spinned around and disappeared from my view without making any reply.
What was with that attitude? Why was he staring at me? Is it because he discerned my gloominess too? Well, the way I am keeping myself distracted by my own matters, staying aloof from all the fun, I assume everyone did so.
My friends joined me in no time and I had to forget about all this nonsense and focus on my picnic. So diverting my mind, I gulped down the yummy fried rice slightly picking up my niqab while taking each mouthful in.
After having lunch,we all were guided to the beach. The air here is so serene! I took a deep breath in. AHHHHH.... PEACE EVERYWHERE!!! At least something good is still left for me on the earth before jumping off the cliff.
The rest of the day and night went smoothly and to be honest,I forgot about the negative affairs completely while enjoying the beautiful view with my friends. We took pictures by the bay wetting our feet.At night, seniors arranged some fire on the beach and set the bar-b-Q rods up. Darkness as well as the dim lighting of fire,the soothing tone of guitar, warmth of a big, joint family, chattering over funny personal stuffs, listening to each others' goals, dreams, even love confessions, eating bar-b-Q made by ourselves while sharing with everyone and cracking sarcasm like crazy; everything made it one of the best days of my life. It was cozy, it was beautiful, it was something tremendous my youth was searching for this whole long time. I know maybe this mixed gendered get together without any wali is banned in my religion but I couldn't help but be thankful to this trip. This brought peace and calmness to my heart after a really lengthy period.
Now in the girls' room, while lying on a quilt on the floor with my friends on one side and seniors on the other, I slowly closed my eyes thinking, life is so beautiful Alhumdulillah. Indeed with every hardship there is relief.
A smile crept up to my lips, completely unaware of what was to come to me the very next morning....
Zawad's P.O.V.
After making sure that all the girls are in their rooms, safe and sound, I came out of the hotel with the boys. "Let's make this night worth it guys!!!"I screamed.
"YES BHAAAAAIIII!!! Woooohoo!!!" juniors replied with same enthusiasm.
Rashed and Tanveer has gone to fetch some weed and God knows how, returned with some local cheap beer. While they were busy in setting everything up, I took my seat on the log of a tree in the Sandy beach looking forward into the sea.
The stormy waves and bubbles are still visible in the darkness of night. I closed my eyes and let the wind brush my hair. The rumbling sound of the ocean washed my mind when all on a sudden a face peeked from one of its corner.
It was of the same girl I everyday encounter with. God knows how many days, no, months it has been I don't get to see this face for a veil on it. But no doubt that its owner captured my mind for no specific reason.
Everyday I crave to see that familiar pretty face with its beautiful eyes to look directly at me and pierce through my ones like it used to do before. But my secretly cherished desire never came true. The owner of the eyes always, no idea how, keeps her gaze down in front of guys as if her sight was glue stuck with the floor. I barely get the opportunity to talk to her because she never leaves her friends to come and talk to me alone saying that I'm a non mahram to her. She doesn't even know that this rejection, this avoidance and the hesitancy and bashfulness of her attitude while talking to me makes her even more captivating, inciting me to make it all legit immediately, in her language mahram, to unfold the cover and face no barricades.
Am I in love with Shayba? Why must she be the one who I think of when I am in need of some consolation? Why is she the one who I recall about when I'm alone? Why is she the one whose depressed eyes and odd silence disturbs me the whole day to enquire about the reason behind it?
"Oyeee!!!! Where have you been lost??? Since when have I been calling you?? Have you any idea???" my thoughts broke at Nabil's shouting before my face.
"Sorry, I was just feeling so sleepy when I had shut my eyes."
"Man, you are unbelievable!! Go get some sleep if you are tired! You took a huge pressure today to manage all these."
"Not a big deal. The party is still on!" saying this, I got up smirking.
My mind got somehow disheveled for her. The me who planned for weeks on making the last picnic of my life worth it is now in no mood to do so only because it is hesitating for someone. Someone with whom it feels like it's bound by a string. A string that wants to keep me on the track, a string that doesn't let me go back to my previous careless self when I didn't even meet her. Seriously when I recall my past, I wonder thinking how reckless and imprudent I was before. Previously I easily got swayed by pretty faces and sweet talks, but I can't recall when it gradually began to change when I see her.
But the truth is I don't relate to her in any way. Then why? Just why do I oscillate when doing something wrong fearing that someone may get hurt???? I was never like this before! Why do I think that she won't be happy if she saw me smoking or drinking now, rather tell me to perform my Salah??? What do I want exactly???? Has she ever looked at me with admiration in her eyes??? No! Has she ever talked to me with a secret purpose behind a beautiful smile? No! Has she ever tried to impress me by her looks like other girls? No! Rather she started to wear a niqab since I tried to approach her at the very beginning. She calls me brother and literally treats me like one. She always looks for the opportunity to avoid me giving a trivial non mahram excuse. Then why am I acting like I'm tied to her by a thread? Why am I acting such a love struck when there is mere chance of getting her? That's stupid!!
I got up saying that I need some sleep to be boosted for the next day. It's not a lie though. I needed some rest but I could have ignored that for this special night. But here I am, going back to the hotel leaving all my friends smoking and drinking together. One year ago, I was supposed to be the one to lead in such parties. And that me is saving myself now from this so called Haram things, not because I have been good to my religion, but because I want to see someone smile because of me. Life is strange! You never know how the next step is going to be.
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The following morning I woke up sharp at 7 at Tanveer's stupid scream.
"Please get up my dear captain!!! We are gonna be late!!!!!"
"What the f**k man?? What do you want??"
He shook me horribly and shouted, "If you don't wake everyone up and take them to breakfast now, we are gonna be late for today's prog you stupid!"
"Aisshhh, just let me sleep!!! Go get the chores done by yourself if you want so bad!!!"
"ZAWAAAAAD!!!!!"my eardrums almost split into two at his howl.
"Oh God! Fine. I'm getting up! Unbearable!" huffing at his victory,I got up and thrust into the washroom. What can be worse than waking up early in the morning when you are on your vacation??? Geez! Why the hell did I take the responsibility of an organizer???
When I came down the stairs, I heard someone calling from behind,"Excuse me!"
Turning my head, I found a well suited gentleman probably of my age beyond me. Well he is not someone from our team for sure. Has he come from a meeting just now?
"Yes?"
"Ahh do you know the team from U.o.E that came yesterday into this hotel?"
"Yes, I'm from that team. How can I help you?"
"Oh good lord! Can I go upstairs? I need to talk to someone from this team."
"Well, I'm the organizer. You can tell me who you want."
"No, not you! I know some certain person here who I badly need to talk right now."
This time I got a bit irritated. "Then give him a call and ask to come down. Why bothering me?"
"I can't do that you know. We are having some relationship problems. She won't pick up my call, let alone come down."
"Woah!!! Woah! Woah! I see. What do you want me to do then??"
"Please bring her down showing some other reason. But please don't tell her that I'm here."
"I don't understand. Did you come from Dhaka only to quench your girlfriend's anger?"
"Yeaaah something like that." he shyly smiled.
"Great." I bitterly smiled back.
"Please help me out. I need to go back to Dhaka as quickly as possible. I have a meeting to attend."
"Alright. Tell me her name and identity."
"Shayba Ahmed."
"Shaaa WHATTTTTT?!??!!!!!!"a yell came out of my throat.
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Cliffhanger? Well how do you think he will react?😉
Hey there, lovely readers! Assalamu Alaikum. How have you been enjoying the weather?
I have been suffering from serious fever and sore throat for about a week. Winter is killing me! Please keep me in your prayers so that I can update soon and on a regular basis.
Love you tons....💗
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