“Rachel!” Isabel said as soon as she spotted rachel in the far corner of the waiting room. Maria, Michael and Alex all rushed into the waiting room behind her.
“Isabel,” Rachel cried out as soon as she saw Finn's sister. They held each other tightly before pulling away and allowing Maria to comfort her best friend.
“Where is he? Why are you out here?” Isabel shot out the questions.
“You guys want to give Rachel some breathing room?” Drew spoke up when he saw everyone surround Rachel. He knew they were all worried about Finn, but Rachel looked about ready to crack and he knew Finn wouldn’t want anything to happen to her.
“Thanks, Drew,” Rachel smiled past her tears and then followed him over to one of the chairs in the corner of the room so she could gather herself together. A few minutes later she was ready and asked everyone to come over. Drew sat protectively next to her and waited until she explained what was happening to everyone.
“They said that it was bad. They don’t know how bad until they go in. They just wheeled him into surgery and when he comes out he is going to be fine,” Rachel stated firmly.
“But what if they can’t fix it?”
“Did they say what the chances were?”
“What if he can’t play ball anymore?” Everyone fired off their questions and Rachel closed her eyes and took a deep breath. They were being negative and she had no room in her heart for that right now.
“First of all, don’t ask me questions you know I can’t answer. And secondly, Finn will be fine!” Rachel stood and pushed through everyone angrily.
“Rachel, just tell me, was he okay? You know how he hates hospitals.” Isabel approached Rachel cautiously, knowing that Rachel was at the end of her rope and it wouldn’t take much more to push her over the edge.
“I know he hates them ever since he was little and had to have his tonsils taken out. He was terrified. He didn’t want me to know it, but he was…and…I couldn’t do anything.” Rachel looked up at Isabel wearily and then stepped into her embrace.
“Rachel?” Maria stepped closer not wanting to upset Rachel, but felt like she had to do something.
“Yeah?” Rachel pulled away and swiped the endless tears from her eyes. “Do you want something to drink? Coffee?” Maria offered softly.
“Coffee would be great. Thank you.” Maria simply nodded before walking off with Michael to find the cafeteria.
Rachel was completely restless. She tried to sit but found it frustrating. Pacing, that was what was working for her. She found a quiet spot at the other end of the hall a few minutes ago and was trying to find something think about that didn’t involve Finn. She tried to think of what she needed to do when she got back home, but then her thoughts drifted to Finn once again. What if he needed her here? Would she stay if he asked? Would he even ask? It was useless. Time was against her and she hated it more than anything else. Her thoughts were interrupted by Drew’s voice from behind her.
“Rachel, why don’t you sit down? You’ve been pacing for an hour.” Drew tried once again to get Rachel to relax as much as possible; she looked dead on her feet. It had been over two hours and Finn was still in surgery.
“I know…I just don’t know what to do with myself. What’s taking so long?” Rachel asked wildly while running a frustrated hand through her hair. Drew chuckled slightly to himself. She did still love Finn, more than Finn even realized. Finn had told Drew the whole story about him and Rachel, from when they first met until they day she arrived for the game that day. With Michael not being around as much, there were just times Finn needed to talk to someone and Drew was glad that he could be there for him. Like Finn was there for him so many times.
“I’m sure everything is fine. Besides it’s only been two hours. It takes a little longer than that.” He tried to reassure her and finally he saw her relax a little.
“Why are you being so…I don’t know what word I’m looking for is, but you don’t even know me?” Drew smiled when he saw the confusion etched across her face. She was beautiful that much he couldn’t deny. Boy, Hudson better get his shit together. This girl is definitely worth it, he thought to himself.
“I know you, Rach. Well, I mean I know you through Finn's eyes.” Rachel blushed and ducked her head shyly.
“So you must be a really good friend to Finn then? He doesn’t share his personal life with strangers.”
“Yeah, I am. He’s helped me a lot with my girlfriend, and so one day I asked him how he got so girl smart.” Drew waited for Rachel to ask the next question. He knew it was coming. He could tell by the look in her eyes.
“What…what did he tell you?” Rachel wasn’t sure she wanted to hear his answer but a part of her ached to know that he never forgot about her and that he truly regretted what he did. She let out a loud sigh awaiting Drew’s response.
“He told me that if I cared about my girlfriend, that I should see it through ‘til the end. Otherwise I’ll live with the regret of never knowing what could have been.” Drew finished looking Rachel right in the eyes, willing her to understand Finn's words. And by the look on her face and the tears streaming down her face, he knew she did.
Rachel was speechless. He never forgot her. He never stopped loving her and he did regret what happened. She didn’t have answers, but a small part of her heart began to heal at the truth in his words. She looked back up to Drew. She needed to know one last thing before she let the subject drop. “Does he talk about me? I mean…not like on a daily basis or anything like that…but does he?” Rachel questioned softly.
“Everyday Rachel…everyday.” Drew smiled and was about to say something else, but was stopped by the sound of Finn's sister’s voice.
“He’s out!” Rachel jumped to her feet and ran down the hall back into the waiting room.
Rachel approached the doctor, and he could tell by the look on everyone’s face he needed to be brief and to the point with his remarks. “He did excellent. The surgery went well and…”
“Doctor?” Rachel was about to pounce on the nurse that just interrupted them. Why did everything have to be so difficult for her? Wasn’t she suffering enough?
“Can I see him?” Rachel immediately asked the doctor. He placed his hands on her shoulders and shook his head. “You will have to give him a few minutes. They are taking him to recovery. He’ll be there for a little while and then when they bring him back to his room, you may see him.” The doctor walked away after that leaving Rachel relieved and unsettled. The surgery went well. That could mean a million things.
“Rach, relax. Finn is fine just like you said. We will get to see him soon.” Isabel reached out her hand and placed it on Rachel's shoulder for support. Alex had been supporting her the entire time. However, she knew that if Rachel felt that Finn would be okay, then she had nothing to worry about. The main thing was; how was her brother doing? Isabel could only imagine what Rachel was going through. If Finn couldn’t play ball anymore, what did it mean for them?
“I know. I just…I need to see him. I need to see with my own eyes that he’s okay.” Everyone gathered around her weary form nodding their agreement. The room grew quite. That was until the nurse entered the room a few minutes later. They all turned their attention to her.
“He’s just waking up and he’s very groggy. So he may be in and out of it for a little while. But you can go and see him.” They all went to move but the nurse halted their movements explaining that not everyone could enter the room at the same time.
“You go first Rachel,” Isabel said. Rachel just shook her head.
“I want to go last. I…I’m not leaving him so you all before me.” Rachel smiled softly and took a seat in the far corner of the room. She was trying to get her heartbeat under control. She knew Finn was fine, but how bad was the damage? Would he have to give up his career? A small part of her wished that he did, maybe then he’d realize what he’d lost. Rachel knew he may have regretted it, but that didn’t mean that he honestly cherished what they had to begin with. The other part, the part that loved him wanted him to be perfectly okay. She wanted him to continue on his career, because no matter what that meant she would always be proud of him. How many people got to live out their dreams, she thought.
I was supposed to be his dream. That was what the little jealousy demon sitting on her shoulder was whispering in her ear. Why couldn’t he have chosen them both? Why didn’t she matter enough to him to include her? Why couldn’t he have loved her enough? Tears once again cascades endlessly down her cheeks, she never knew it was possible to cry as much as she had.
She sat with a heavy heart as she watched everyone walk down the hall to Finn's room. She was beginning to question her actions. Should she have gone in first? No. Her heart told her that she made the right decision. Deciding that she could do nothing more than to sit around and wait, she closed her eyes and rested.