"I strongly believe that love is the answer
and that it can mend even the deepest unseen wounds.
Love can heal,
love can console,
love can strengthen,
and yes,
love can make change."
― Somaly Mam
Chapter Thirty-Four- Liam
When I got to the pond and saw her singing I stayed back and just listened to her play. It was beautiful to hear both her voice and the guitar, I didn't know she played. I knew she would be embarrassed and put it away as soon as she knew I was here and I wanted to listen as long as I could.
She was pretty damn good with that guitar and her voice was beautiful too. She strummed along and when she finished the song she looked up and saw Hadley and then immediately looked for me. She looked embarrassed and her face tinged with pink, which just deepened to a red when I clapped
"Beautiful." I told her and she shook her head
"Lies get you nowhere Liam Taylor Johnston." She tisked
"You know my full name, but I don't know yours." I just thought about that, in our talks she seemed to have missed telling me that bit of information, but then again, I didn't actually think to ask.
"Addison Mandalyn Gregory." She said pulling the food out of the basket.
"Beautiful name." I told her
"Where did you get the name?" I asked
"I have no idea; my parents aren't the type to spend time socializing with me and telling stories."
"I get that; maybe ask Lalan and see if it's a family thing, you never know, they could have had a heart when they named you." I suggested as she handed me a plate.
"Maybe, does it really matter?" she asked me
"A name is important. I'm names my grandfather and you know; my dad's name is my middle name."
"What would you name your kid?" she asked
"Boy or girl?" I took a bite and waited for her to swallow before she replied
"Both."
"I don't really know, never thought about it. I guess I would want Taylor and Caroline to be part of it, How about you?" I looked over at her and she looked to be thinking about it for a minute.
"I don't know, but I think Lalan would be part of my daughters." She smiled and that little bit of information gave me hope that I could get her to stay, if she wanted Lalan to be part of her daughter's name, that said a lot about how she felt about the people here.
"I think that would be sweet."
"She's a great person, I've never felt so much motherly love, and actually I've never felt any. Lalan feels like a real mother to me." she confessed
That hope was bubbling more, I think if I could get her to see this and talk about her family some more, maybe if I bring it up with good timing she would think about staying.
"How about everyone else?" I asked her
"Ethan has been good to me from a distance. He's backed off and I don't know if he knows how to react to me, he kind of let's Auntie do things, but I can see her cares. He's a warm person."
"He really is, there's a reason Lalan married him."
"Kalila, she's really like a sister I always wanted. We haven't spent too much time together, but she's gone out of her way with the painting to make me feel more comfortable here. We spent time tanning together today, and we're going to go shopping. I feel like in another life, if mine was different, she would be someone I could tell anything to and she would keep all my secrets and stuff."
"Yeah, she's a bit wild but kind hearted."
"Were you too ever together?" she threw me off by asking and I wasn't sure how to handle that exactly, I didn't want to lie but I didn't want to upset her.
"Yeah, years ago while we were in high school."
"How long?" she wondered
"Year and a half." Kalila and I really cared for each other.
"Did you love her?" I felt like I was digging a hole here.
"Yes, but not in the way I should have loved her. We grew up together, we dated a while, and I cared deeply for her and I did love her, but after that year and a half, we were comfortable with each other and that's great but it just wasn't there between us we realized as we got a little older."
"Did she love you?"
"I don't know about her feelings on the matter, if she was honest with me, her answer would be a lot like mine." She could have downplayed her feelings for all I knew, I don't think she would tell me if she did though. "Did you really love that boyfriend of yours?" I asked her and the look on her face made me regret that.
"I thought I did. I was young and I thought that he loved me and I thought that how I felt was love, but it wasn't. At the time I loved him, but at the time I didn't know what love was."
"I can understand that."
"Yeah, love it how my family is here. Asher spent hours with me, you were working and I figured getting close to someone else that won't hurt me would be a good idea. He would just sit there with me while I reached out and poked him or touched him and then freaked out and jumped away. He didn't laugh or taunt me, he didn't make me feel stupid or unsafe, and he felt like a true loving brother."
"He did the whole sit and wait too?" I asked her. Oh those were weird times; I liked how she is now much better. It felt like a life time ago that I met her, not two months. She was so different now. She wasn't this terrified little girl anymore that panicked when anyone got within five feet of her.
I looked at her and saw just so much strength. She thought she was weak, but she didn't realize how much she's overcame, she's lived through hell her whole life. She taken so much abuse and it hasn't broken her, she's held strong, I just think that now, it's time to fight back.
Someone can only take so much for so long before they break, and the first showed up here was one cut away from breaking, from giving up, from not existing. I wish that she could just see herself for one minute how I saw her.
She finished eating and laid down on the blanket, the smile on her face pulled at my heart. She looked nineteen for once, she looked free and she looked happy.
Her scars may be on display but they were just a reminder of what she's survived through. I didn't think they were ugly. They were horrible because that's how she got them, but not ugly.
"I want to play In the water" she jumped up
"Well go play." I smiled down at her
"You don't want to join me?" she asked confused
"I will, I want a little more food, and I'll be in." she shrugged and a though I knew she had a bathing suit on, my heart still jumped when she stretched up to strip off her shirt, I may be a virgin by choice, but I was still very much a guy. Her body looked healthier; fit, not overly skinny. She shimmied out of her shorts and stuck her tongue out at me and went to go jump in the water.
"Come on, hurry up!" she yelled and splashed water to the grass that wasn't anywhere near me.
"I didn't bring anything to swim in." I informed her and she shrugged.
"Well I'm Miss. Think of Everything, so look in the bag." I walked over and opened it to see two towels and swim trunks.
"You should have been a girl scout." I said as I grabbed them and walked behind a tree so I could change. I pulled my shirt over my head and she giggled.
"Come on!" she wined "I'm lonely in here." She sat in the water
"Give me a minute" I wanted to just watch her for a minute. Remember this moment for if she leaves.
"Cough, cough. Liam Help, I'm drowning" she said in a monotone voice with a smile.
"Well oh no!" I yelled dramatically
"Save me!" she said back in the same way. I shook my head as I ran into the water and I grabbed her and picked her up in my arms and carried her to shore
"Don't die on me" I shook her and she closed her eyes and bit her lip so she wouldn't smile
"This is where you're supposed to kiss me" she said before she wrapped her arms around me and pulled me to her to kiss me herself. I wasn't complaining.
I don't know how long I kissed her but when things felt like they were about to go even a tiny bit farther I pulled back
"She's alive!" I declared and she smiled and shook her head at me
"Dork." She pushed me off and ran for the water. I caught up with her and picked her up, tossing her in a deeper part and she splashed me. It reminded me a bit of the first time at the lake, but better.
We played for a bit before we decided we should head out and take a break, but I picked her up and kissed her again. I couldn't help it. I loved kissing her probably a little too much. I looked down at her and pushed her wet hair back to look at her better.
I knew that if I failed and couldn't convince her to stay that it would break my heart because in that moment, this moment, this afternoon I totally fell in love with her for exactly who she is; scars, mistakes, flaws, past and all.
Ohh, Liam's in LOVEEE <3 <3
Okay guys, thinking of the book and where it's been and where it's going, i've come to the conclusion that it's nearing it's end. i'm not saying there's like two chapters left, but there isn't twenty either. It's getting there, sadd!