That same day, at night before sleep, the envelope rested on Melanie's bed waiting to be opened. She glanced every five seconds while nervously playing with her fingers.
It had been a hectic day for her. After JB's departure, Mary drove her to some place so they could take some fresh air, especially Melanie. She needed it. Then, they received thousand of calls from their boss. As they left without any notice, they ended up being suspended indefinitely from work without pay. A great gift for holidays.
Melanie had this urge to take out the frustrations and pain inside. She decided to go to the dance studio but it made her feel all weird without JB's presence. So, she walked home alone and confined herself inside of her room leaving the envelope by her side and once ready she would open it. It was already late at night and she didn't touch it at all.
She sighed heavily and finally grabbed it. "What else can I do? I have no other choice." Her heart beat so fast as she teared up the paper and took out the exhaustive letter.
Hi Noona :))
If you are reading this right now it's that I finally left for Korea to pursue my dream. There are so many things I wanted to tell you but time has caught up I guess. We have been through many things together, isn't it? There would be much to say but I'll stop here and go straight to what I wanted to tell you. I think I know why we met again, and why we have to go through a separation once again.
We met because we needed each other at that moment of our life, to remember ourselves that we aren't alone and that that special person does exist and will always be there for us no matter where we are. We were lonely and lost. An emptiness in our hearts waiting for something to fill it again. The universe worked its magic so we could reunite once again. Perhaps, we were lost stars trying to light up the dark. It took some time to recognize each other but once we did, at least for me, I didn't want to let go even if my behavior showed the opposite at some times.
When I first saw you as we were going to the same college, I had a familiar feeling about you. I don't know what it was exactly but I just couldn't erase you out of my mind as if you were supposed to be there. My special crush. You were so intriguing to me and so beautiful yet I couldn't figure out those weird sensations I had inside of me everytime I saw you.
Melanie's face heated up and a slight smile appearing on her face.
Then, one day you talked to me, thanks to Junior wanting to change locker with me. Since that day, I started having those curious flashbacks. I assumed you were the cause of this. At first, I thought it was ridiculous but as they became more frequent and almost realistic, I needed to be with you so I could personally see for myself if you were really that person. My soulmate.
She breathed deeply, preparing herself for the next lines.
However, things still kept us from seeing each other. I admit it, I was jealous of Mark at some point but when I saw you depressed, crying for him after that breakup, the best I could do to see you happy again was to get him back to you. Your happiness was my first priority. I've learned a quote by Osho that says this: "If you love a flower, don't pick it up. Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love. So, if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation."
If there is one person that love you unconditionally despite everything do know that person exist and will never stop loving you.
Her eyes became watery as she read that. She glanced away for few seconds and closed her eyes, a tear finally rolling down her cheek. She wiped it away and took a deep breath once again. She read that same sentence again and smiled. She felt light as if floating around with nothing to worry about.
She continued the letter.
I can almost hear you cry right now but please don't.
She let out a soft giggle. "You know me too well."
Be strong. I want you to live your life boldly and be happy, my flower. You need to follow your dream. That's why we have to part away it's because you don't have a dream yet or you just don't have a clear goal to achieve in life.
I've never heard you talk about nursing. Do you like it? Do you see yourself in this career 10 years from now? The thing I know for sure is that you're passionate about dancing. Don't get me wrong, I just want you to be on something that really will make you proud and smile every day so it won't feel like work. For us to meet again you need to become that accomplished woman I've met a thousand of times before. I know you can do it.
I was happy here with you. When I had a hard time with my family, you were mostly the only reason why I liked to wake up every morning because I knew once I saw you everything would be okay. Even when I was angry, your touch on my face or the sound of your voice would make me calm and forget about everything. That was when I started remembering because it felt like home, the home only the two of us have encountered.
Don't be too sad. I'm telling you all of this but you do know we can still contact each other, right? Let's skype together whenever I'll have time.
Now, read this carefully. I know Mark is still somewhere in your heart. Please, take a chance. You might be saying I'm crazy or you're actually not considering it after all we've been through together until now but I'm being serious. Even if we would have ended up together, I would have left for Korea either way.
The tears forming in her eyes made her vision blurry as she read the hard truth. She knew it, but him also. One of the reasons she tried to forget about him few times and hold onto Mark but it wasn't that easy in the end.
I'm not here to take care of you anymore but there's someone else who can. It's hard to say but maybe we weren't meant to be in this life?
"Maybe," she whispered softly as she smiled regretfully.
Maybe... but it's also too soon to predict, we're still in our twenties. We're both still young and have so much to learn and experience.
She nodded. "I know."
I just want you to be loved by someone and not wait indefinitely for me to come back. Don't hold on because you think there will be no one else. There will always be someone else. Lucky fro you, you already have someone. Mark is a great guy and he adores you, Melanie. I've never seen him do this much effort for a girl till now and I can tell you he's being very serious about you two. I believe there's a reason in everything and Mark coming into your life is one, same for us to be apart for now.
I don't think this is a coincidence. If we had ended up together, something tragic could have happened to one of us like we already have seen in the past. I don't know about you, but some of those flashbacks I had were heart-wrenching and painful to watch, waking me up in tears on my bed. I guess that's one of the reasons I prefer to be away so I know you are safe and nothing bad will happen to you.
Remember the end of 'La La Land' movie? Despite what happened, they had a great life and smiled to each other. I want us to be like that. Despite how the things could turn out in the future for us, we shouldn't cry because it ended but smile because it happened. Don't worry about me, if you can find someone like Mark, I'll find someone too. It feels weird to say this but that's what it is. Changes are difficult but that's part of the life, along with taking risks for us to learn everything there is to know.
You taught me to smile more often because my smile was beautiful. You should do the same. Your smile is a blessing to watch. So, smile a lot for me, okay?
Suddenly, she threw the letter away and buried her face in her pillow. For about five long minutes, she remained like that crying her heart out while punching her bed. When she calmed down, she stepped out of her room discreetly making sure no one would see her face but everyone was already asleep excepted her. She headed to the bathroom to rinse her face with cold water. After that, she grabbed a bottle of water in the kitchen and gulped down half of it.
As she returned to her room, she closed the door behind and grabbed the letter that fell on the floor. She continued to read the rest of it while sitting down on her bed.
This makes me think of something extremely important to ask you: If in the future I happen to get the 'star disease' and become an arrogant, cold, insensitive, hypocrite, well a real bastard, do not ever forget the real person I was when I was with you. The real me. You can slap me in the face if necessary. I count on you.
And one last thing. If you happen to go through a hard time or simply feeling lonely, close your eyes, empty your mind and look into your heart because I am there with you. We are the stars of the universe, after all. Let's not take the darkness comes between us. But, without the dark we would never see the stars, isn't it?
Your Jaebeom, a soulmate that will never leave you ❤
P.S. I'll take good care of Snowflake.
At last, her tears wouldn't fall anymore. Strangely, she felt even more close to JB even if he wasn't here anymore. Well, he never left and never will. He was here with her, always within her heart, her soul. She turned her head to the window and decided to take a look.
Out from her bed, she stood in front of her window and lifted her eyes to the night sky. The white pearls shining in the sky were so beautiful to watch. The stars made her feel at peace, she couldn't stop looking at them. She snorted as she thought about that Santa Claus who gave her Snowflake. Undeniably, he was right after all; among those stars, a very special friend was there for her and no matter what happened, there would always stay connected.
On the other hand, the plane going straight to Korea was calm. Most people felt asleep so it was completely quiet. Youngjae started singing in his sleep, next to JB. This last one, however, was still awake. He watched the stars from his window. Never he thought he could see them from a plane but it seemed possible. It was beautiful to see them up-close. One of them twinkled more than the others and a smirk slowly appeared on his face.
Goodnight.