If it's not like the movies,
That's how it should be, yeah.
When he's the one
I'll come undone
And my world will stop spinning
And it's just the beginning...
---
Later that evening Sarah was a bundle of nerves, she had already burnt her fingers twice while making dinner for her and Nate.
Why am I making lasagna? Oh, hey, here's your favorite food. By the way, I'm breaking up with you.
She stomped her feet on the kitchen floor like a toddler.
Argh! This would be way easier if he was a complete jerk.
She shoved the lasagna in the oven, set the timer on her stove and looked around.
"Salad, ready. Table, ready. Dessert, ready. Wine, he's bringing it," she said to herself. "Okay."
She jumped in the shower, rehearsing in her mind how she was going to do it while the warm water traveled down her body.
So, Nate... Um, we've had a great relationship but I think we should take some time apart. No, no. No time, it has to be definite.
Honesty, I need to be honest. Nate, lately I've been thinking... about... another guy. A lot. And on his eyes... and his smile... and his deep velvety voice...
She was staring into nothing, biting her lower lip while holding the soap in her hands. Then, shook her head snapping out of it and grabbed the shampoo bottle.
Too honest. I can't do that. Do not think of Hamdan, do NOT think about Hamdan while breaking up with your boyfriend. Oh gosh, I suck.
"Ouch!" Shampoo got in her eye. She splashed water on it and continued to rinse her hair.
Ok. Nate, you have been a great boyfriend but I'm not sure about my feelings anymore.
Um, that's a little better.
She walked into her room with a towel wrapped around her body and another one on her head. She put on a pair of blue jeans and a black top and let her hair down to dry. She was putting lipgloss in front of the mirror when the timer made her run back to the kitchen. Turning the oven off, she peeked inside.
"Perfect," she murmured.
Rooster ran to the door when he heard the knock.
Oh God...
Sarah rolled her shoulders back, sighed and headed to the door, smiling as naturally as possible. Nathan had taken his jacket and tie off and was holding a bottle of wine.
"Hey, darl!" He wrapped his arm around her waist and planted a kiss on her lips.
"Hey!"
"Smells great! Lasagna?"
"Um-hum," she replied without opening her lips.
"Awesome!" Nate grinned letting go of her and entering the apartment to pat Rooster who was wagging his tail and going around in circles. "Should I open it?" He asked, holding the wine bottle up.
"Plea--" She choked. "Ahem, please."
Sarah could already feel her heartbeat raising and curled her hands into fists, trying to control the nerves.
He placed the bottle on the kitchen counter and took out the corkscrew from one of the drawers. "Guess what?"
"What?" She replied, taking the two glasses of wine from the table.
"I won't be traveling for what's left of the year. So, we can spend some time together before you leave," he announced, popping the cork out.
Sarah looked down at the glasses and noticed how shaky she was and quickly placed them in front of him.
"That's... nice!" She said, attempting to sound excited.
He filled the glasses halfway and handed her one.
"Cheers to that!" He exclaimed, clinking their glasses and taking a sip. "Is everything okay?" He asked, tilting his head.
"Um, yeah. Let's eat."
Nate helped her serve dinner while telling her about all the things they could do together while he was in town. Sarah kept smiling, nodding and answering his questions with monosyllables.
When should I do it?
They sat down across from each other. She looked down at the food and realised that she could not stomach anything at the moment.
How do I even start this conversation?
"Sarah?"
She looked up and by Nate's face, she knew that her lack of attention was obvious. "Yes, sorry."
"Okay. That's it," he put his fork down and crossed his arms. "I'm not taking another bite until you tell me what's going on."
"What? No, I--"
"Stop it," he used his hand for emphasis. "You've seemed so distracted for the last few weeks. I thought it was because of your training and the race. But now you're still so... distant and just not yourself. Even after winning. What's happening?"
Sarah took a deep breath and also put her fork down on the table.
Just do it.
"Fine. First of all, I apologize for the way I've behaved. You're right. You are truly a great guy, Nate but..." Sarah saw his eyebrows slowly coming together and she shifted on her seat. "Lately, I've been feeling different about us an--"
"Are you breaking up with me?"
Her mouth was open but the words were not coming out. She swallowed and lowered her head.
"Sarah?"
Her heart started pounding in her chest. She dried her sweaty hands by rubbing them on the denim fabric on her thighs. Another deep breath and she looked back at him. "Yes. I am."
The corners of his mouth began to lift. "Are you serious?" He asked, laughing painfully.
She pressed her lips together and nodded.
Nate's face fell. "What?" He murmured. "What the hell?"
"I'm sorry," she apologized.
"What the hell is going on?" His voice rose with every word while he took his hands to the head. "But-- But why? I-- I love you. What happened?"
Sarah could not stand the pain on the face of the man in front of her and lowered her gaze to her lap. "I just... I'm not in the same place as you anymore."
He stood up abruptly, almost knocking his chair down and startling Sarah. "Obviously! But why?" He demanded, yelling.
"I don't know! I just don't!" She yelled back.
"Since when?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes!" He shouted, slamming the table.
She shuddered and Rooster growled from the living room.
Nate closed his eyes and let his head fall. "Did you meet someone?" He asked in a calmed manner, without looking at her.
Sarah did not see how she could be completely honest with him. Mentioning Hamdan was unnecessary, nothing was going to happen between them. Perhaps, the sole purpose of meeting Hamdan was to make her see that she could not keep wasting Nate's time. Besides, she didn't want to hurt him anymore, so she lied.
"No."
He walked up to her and got down on one knee. "So? What changed?" He pleaded, holding her hand.
Sarah turned to face him. "I did. You've done nothing wrong, Nate," a lump formed in her throat.
"Is there something I can do?" His voice breaking. "Because if you need some time I can--"
"Nate, no. Don't make this harder."
He let go of her hand and stood up covering his face with both hands. Sarah's eyes started filling with tears and she blinked them away.
"So, this is it?" He questioned with wide open arms.
"I don't want to hurt you, this is not easy for me." Sarah admitted, looking up at him.
"Well, imagine what I am going through right now." He started pacing in front of her. "I'm in love with you, I thought of a life with you, I was..." He stopped and closed his eyes again. "Nevermind," he sighed.
Nate walked to the door but something on one of the shelfs made him stop. Sarah knew what it was. It was a framed picture of them from back when they started dating, they were in Jumeirah beach and that pic was one of Nate's favorites.
"You can keep that," he said without turning, his hand on the door handle.
Sarah rose to her feet. "Nate!"
He spun around with a dark look that she had not seen before. "What, Sarah? This is what you want! You just told me there's nothing I can do, so what's the point in staying?" He was breathing heavily through his nose and Rooster growled again as a warning. "God knows how much I love you, but I'm sure as hell that I won't be begging for something you don't feel."
Nate left, slamming the door shut behind him.
Her chest felt tight and the tears resurfaced in her eyes. She covered her face with both hands and her weak legs caved in, making her fall down on her knees, the sobs filling out the empty apartment. She was sure about what she had done, that it was the right decision but she had never felt lonelier. Her parents and Tom were abroad, her friends in Dubai were probably busy, and nobody had a clue about what was happening.
Sarah noticed a warm touch on her lap and when she uncovered her face, she realized that Rooster was sitting in front of her and his paw was on her leg. She hugged her dog and continued to cry.
"You're all I have now, Rooster," she mumbled.
***
Breakups are never easy :( Poor Nate, maybe I'll write a story about him where he finds true love!
Don't forget to vote and comment!
XOXO,
Sophie.