Christmas.
Christmas was a fucking shambles. I had slept with Crane, Nylah had returned, Me and J had a pretty explosive argument and J's new right hand man has been assigned.
Kassius.
Ex military, current job role straight up gangster. A real big shot down in the neighbourhood of Dudley Heights. His caramel skin teamed with a real arrogant and cool personality suited beau best. His actions at first seemed ruthless and... messy. But J taught him to slow down and to take his time with his prey, to be more calculated, clean and cutting. Apparently Kassius and Nylah were old companions. I call bullshit. They definitely met in a bar somewhere. I bet he bought her a Martini and she decided to spread her legs. Which brings me to... ding dong the witch is finally fucking dead.
OK
Not literally, but she packed up and headed back to Morocco after our little New years soiree. But she'll be back, to ruin my life, again.
Things with J have been... as expected. Shit when Nylah's about, brilliant when she's not. I still resent J from his Christmas outburst. But emotions were clearly running high and the liquor had gotten to the best of us. Im just not to sure how much of this whiplash I can take anymore. I feel like I'm losing my mind most of the time. Ive got two men by my side who would both kill, die and live for me, yet it isn't enough. I feel like nothing is ever enough lately. Mona's gone, things with Crane have been... different. I don't have any friends. I have no one to turn to and it hurts so much. Everyday I have to put on a brave face. Everyday I have to look J in his beautiful blue eyes as if nothing between me and Crane ever happened. I would rather bathe in a tub full of acid, then tell J about what happened that night. I love him so much, and I would never leave him, its just... I don't know. Its funny how J is the broken one, but I cant help but shake the feeling that I'm the only one who needs saving.
But hey, who knows what this year will have in store for me.
Its time to go for the ride.
''Liza, baby. My sweet, sweet girl'' J purred, stroking my hair out of face as I slowly awoke from my slumber. The graze of his cold rings against my temple left me in a shiver.
I let out a groan and pulled the covers over my head.
''Oh C'mon, Kitten. Dont hide from Daddy.'' I could hear the grin in J's voice. He slowly edged his hand beneath the covers. His cold hands gliding over the back of my thighs, igniting a spark down there.
I squirmed and rolled over to my back, ensuring the covers still hid my face. J climbed on top of me and ripped them clean off. I closed my eyes tight, avoiding the sunlight at all costs.
''Aww, is my Kitten still tired?'' J cooed
I nodded opening one eye.
''Well I don't understand how, its 9pm'' J said a little agitatedly, running his hands through his glorious hair.
I had been feeling so tired recently. A little weak and nauseous. I just put it down to it probably being the side effects of when I was a coma a couple of months back or possibly just my hormones playing up as I patiently waited for my uterus to shred. But now to think of it, it has honestly been awhile since I've had a period. But then again, its probably nothing. J had been away from home for awhile whilst he sorted out his international business affairs, so you can imagine how dry it's been in the bedroom - literally.
All of a sudden I felt a tight tug at my stomach. Saliva started to quickly build up in my mouth and I felt myself turn sheepish. J furrowed his brows as he looked over me with concern.
''You OK?'' He asked, easing up off me and I rose up.
''I think I'm gonna be sick!'' I didn't even have to push J off of me. He moved away so fast you would have thought I shat the bed. I ran over to the bathroom and hoisted up the toilet lid whilst acidic liquid started to abruptly leave my mouth.
''Listen, blood and guts I'm all for it, but vomit - I'm sorry baby I cant -
''Would you just bring me some damn water!'' I called out as another gag and stream came out of my mouth. I gasped for air as the wrenching in my gut felt like it was clamping around my lungs. I hated vomiting. Slowly but surely my stomach started to ease up and I felt like it was finally safe to lift up my head. I looked up at J who had a white bandanna with his grin printed on it wrapped around his face, covering up his nose and mouth.
''Oh my god'' I croaked, snatching glass the water from his grip. J let out a shrug, patting me on the top of my head before spinning on his heels back into the bedroom.
''Yeah, nice. Remind me not to die next to you!'' I called out, rolling my eyes and bringing the glass to my lips.
J's laugh echoed throughout.
''Very important business meeting later baby, cant be smelling of sick!'' J called out
''Well don't let me stop you!'' I called back, a helpless smile appearing on my lips.
All of a sudden there was a knock at the door. I edged my head around the frame
''Damn!'' Kassius said fanning his hand over his nose. ''Open up some windows or something J, let out some of that damn stank!''
I rolled my eyes and screwed up my face. J leapt in front of the door frame in front of me, top off, his stance resembling a star fish. Legs and eyes wide with his bandana still over his face, his arms out as if to say 'I told you so!'
''You lot are fucking pussy's man'' I shouted, rising to my feet.
''Listen, a dead girls pussy would smell better than that shit!'' Kassius replied, as both him and J let out a roar of laughter together.
I screwed my face up even more and cut my eye at them both as I climbed back into bed.
''Uh, what you doing?'' Kassius asked, pointing at me. I glimpsed up at J who looked over his shoulder to Kas as he poured himself a drink at the mini bar.
''Im going back to bed...?''
Kassius looked back and forth at me and J, a little confused.
''J, I'll be downstairs when you're ready'' He stated as J shot him a nod before closing the door behind him.
''Have I missed the memo or something?''
''Not really. Ive got business coming over from England tonight to the club. I need you to be by my side.'' J set his drink down and peered in his closet, picking out his new Gucci suit.
''But baby I-
''No buts, you're coming and thats that.''
Im sorry that I took so long to bring out a new chapter, I've had awful writers block for almost a month now :( But anyway HAPPY NEW YEAR and enjoy!
P.s I thought Id write and publish two as a *treat*. Feel free to comment with any ideas you guys may have for the next chapters that you'd like your eyes to grace this 2017.
Read on for chapter 40!
XO