Mona stopped chugging and nudged me ''Uh excuse me babe... but you do realise you have just caught the attention of Mistah J'' she said looking a little frightened. ''Who?'' I replied. She gave me a death glare ''Who?! bloody who? The Joker, the guy...
Christmas was a fucking shambles. I had slept with Crane, Nylah had returned, Me and J had a pretty explosive argument and J's new right hand man has been assigned.
Kassius.
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Ex military, current job role straight up gangster. A real big shot down in the neighbourhood of Dudley Heights. His caramel skin teamed with a real arrogant and cool personality suited beau best. His actions at first seemed ruthless and... messy. But J taught him to slow down and to take his time with his prey, to be more calculated, clean and cutting. Apparently Kassius and Nylah were old companions. I call bullshit. They definitely met in a bar somewhere. I bet he bought her a Martini and she decided to spread her legs. Which brings me to... ding dong the witch is finally fucking dead.
OK
Not literally, but she packed up and headed back to Morocco after our little New years soiree. But she'll be back, to ruin my life, again.
Things with J have been... as expected. Shit when Nylah's about, brilliant when she's not. I still resent J from his Christmas outburst. But emotions were clearly running high and the liquor had gotten to the best of us. Im just not to sure how much of this whiplash I can take anymore. I feel like I'm losing my mind most of the time. Ive got two men by my side who would both kill, die and live for me, yet it isn't enough. I feel like nothing is ever enough lately. Mona's gone, things with Crane have been... different. I don't have any friends. I have no one to turn to and it hurts so much. Everyday I have to put on a brave face. Everyday I have to look J in his beautiful blue eyes as if nothing between me and Crane ever happened. I would rather bathe in a tub full of acid, then tell J about what happened that night. I love him so much, and I would never leave him, its just... I don't know. Its funny how J is the broken one, but I cant help but shake the feeling that I'm the only one who needs saving.
But hey, who knows what this year will have in store for me.
Its time to go for the ride.
''Liza, baby. My sweet, sweet girl'' J purred, stroking my hair out of face as I slowly awoke from my slumber. The graze of his cold rings against my temple left me in a shiver.
I let out a groan and pulled the covers over my head.
''Oh C'mon, Kitten. Dont hide from Daddy.'' I could hear the grin in J's voice. He slowly edged his hand beneath the covers. His cold hands gliding over the back of my thighs, igniting a spark down there.
I squirmed and rolled over to my back, ensuring the covers still hid my face. J climbed on top of me and ripped them clean off. I closed my eyes tight, avoiding the sunlight at all costs.
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