I ran J a bath as I left him laying down on the bed.
''Come on baby'' I said, easing him up, taking him over to the tub. I left delicate kisses down his torso as I unbuttoned his shirt. I edged his trousers down to his ankle, as he wiggled them free.
''You shouldn't be doing this'' He mumbled, as I helped him climb into the bath.
''Don't be silly'' I replied.
I knew J hated the thought and feeling of me looking after him. As far as he was concerned I was his and nothing but. The dominance only worked one way and that way, was his. But I didn't let it bother me. I knew as soon as he was back on his feet, he would be doing nothing but kissing mine.
I washed J's body down with a sponge, my eyes in a constant trance as the water droplets would slowly ran their way down his porcelain skin. His body was still in fantastic shape. His insanity continuing to preserve his godly body. I wish I could say the same for myself. My eyes appeared to be hollowed out, whilst J's glistened. My soft curves had turned into bones, whilst J's were strong and defined. My hair was lifeless and weak, whilst J's was shining as bright as the moon in the night sky.
I noticed J's breathing had started to pick up. The look in his eye changed and I knew rage was on its way.
''I should have been there, I should have been there!'' J shouted, punching the wall next to him, as one of the tiles smashed and crumbled into his bath. I continued to watch him as blood started to swirl around in the water from his hand. I didn't know what to say. He was right, he should have been there, and he wasn't. For days, I had time to think about him not being there. I had started to blame him for everything. But as I was finally faced with the reality of the situation, a side of me no longer believed that. Well for now anyway. I wanted to confront him about it, confront Nylah, but to be honest I was just so happy to be lifted out of my rut and placed back into J's arms. I wasn't about to go back down that hole again, I had only taken my first gasp of air.
J started to fidget in the bath and I knew he wanted out. I got up off of my knees and handed him a towel. J wrapped it around his waist and climbed out of the tub. We stood face to face, our eyes not once leaving each others gaze. J placed his hand on my hip as I started to smother his lips with kisses. Every time I pulled back, his eyes would remain open, his face stern, as if this whole thing wasn't real.
''Im here baby. You feel this? Im here'' I reassured him, placing his other hand over my chest so that he could feel my heart beat.
J continued to stare into my eyes, his expression still not budging. Eventually he slid off past me into the bedroom and sat down on my side of the bed.
''Come here'' He said softly
I walked over to him and climbed on top. The softness of his towel caressing my inner thigh. J wrapped his arms around my torso, and pulled me into him tight. His head nuzzled into my breasts. I ran my fingers through his wet hair, slicking it back.
''I meant what I said'' He spoke, breaking the silence
''What?'' I asked
''I meant what I said Liza, even if I was doped up. I cant live without you. You are mine. I would kill a million men with my bare hands to get to you''
''You wouldn't get very far then'' I giggled
J shot his head up ''You underestimate me Kitten, and besides... to die by your side? Well the pleasure and privilege is mine.'' He smirked.
''Oh yeah?'' I teased
''Yeah'' He smiled, before flipping me down to the bed, as he climbed on top.
J crashed his mouth against mine. I parted my lips, allowing his tongue to explore my mouth for what felt like the very first time. J lifted my hands up above my head as he intertwined his fingers with mine before slowly edging kisses down my neck, the silver caps on his teeth rubbed against the thin skin that covered my collarbone. J began to bite down gently and what was a subtle moan, quickly turned into a desperate gasp from me.
J lowered his hand down between me and him. He ripped off my flannel shorts along with my underwear, his thumb quickly finding my clit as he started to rub slow circles on it. J suddenly pushed his cool fingers into my opening, leaving nothing but a gasp to escape from my lips, whilst a growl left his.
J's fingers started to slowly pleasure me before he quickly started to pick up the pace, making me edge before he quickly took them out of my slit.
"You want this?" He growled, forcing his wet fingers into my mouth. I let out a purr as he dropped his towel down, adjusting his member between us.
"More than ever" I said softly.
J placed his throbbing member at my opening before he slowly pushed it into me.
"Ahh" we both moaned at the same time.
I clasped my hands around J's ass, pushing him into me deeper. I let out a moan as our hips crashed into one another. J's hands started to caress my body, from my breasts, down and across my trembling thighs. His fingertips tracing an invisible map as if recognising my skin once again.
He then wrapped his arm around my leg before hoisting it up and over his muscular shoulder, his sweat trickling down his forehead. I arched my back deeply, as my moans turned into cries as I could feel the approach of my orgasm.
''Not yet'' He grunted before he quickly spun me over, my exposed body now on top of him.
I started to slowly ride his member, our eyes locked on one another. I threw my head back and let out a gasp, as I could feel him deep in my stomach. J edged himself up and grabbed onto my ass, as I wrapped my legs around him, our hips thrusting in sync. I draped my arms over his shoulders and allowed my nails to dig into whatever pale skin was available.
I slammed J back down onto the bed realising that I was enjoying this dominance role far too much. He didn't even bat an eyelid. Instead his hands were far too busy trailing across my ass before reaching my spine.
''Oh you're gonna make daddy cum, Kitten'' He purred, his eyes rolling back.
The moment he said that, it had send me over the edge. I could feel my legs quiver and the build up of tension inside my lower abdomen started to become unbearable. The more I bounced up and down on J's member the tighter my walls would wrap around him.
''J... I'' I panted, literally a millimetre away from my climax
''Yes baby, cum for me'' He demanded, his mouth ajar as I knew he couldn't take anymore.
My legs trembled violently as me and J both let out a loud moan, something of which I knew the whole house had heard. I collapsed on top of J as his member released its warmth inside of me.
''Oh baby'' He groaned as I felt it pump with every release. We both rided out our climaxes before I sunk down next to him on my stomach.
''That was amazing'' I smiled, catching my breath.
''Beautiful'' He panted back, groping my ass.
I let out a chuckle and turned onto my side, running my fingers through his hair. J's eyes were closed and I could hear a hum from his throat, his chest rising up and down with every breath. I had missed him so much, words couldn't begin to explain.
"J?" I whispered, stroking his head, but he was already asleep.
I nuzzled my face into his shoulder, closing my eyes trying to follow his lead but it was no use. I couldn't sleep.
I let out a sigh before turning on my back, my eyes fixated on the ceiling. My dark thoughts started to manifest in my mind. I felt safe around J but even so, somehow that wasn't enough. I couldn't escape the hollow feeling that was rooted deep within me. My feelings towards J was just a scratch on the surface. Beneath that was nothing. Nothing but pure emptiness. I felt like I was hanging off the edge of a ledge, my clammy grip quickly slipping with every prod and poke life was throwing at me. My humanity was evaporating - my soul already long gone. I fear it had already reached the depths of hell, no longer stuck in between the spiritual plane.
I was hurting bad, and I wasn't quite sure what, or who could save me.