Chapter 26
Sunday, the last day of our mini vacation passed as much as it should have where I continued to ignore Dorian and went about exploring the city with Jeremy.
Dorian didn’t intrude when we went out of the hotel but he was definitely present I could feel his energy lingering around me the entire day but I paid no attention to it - at least visible attention, in my mind it was all I could think about. It made me glow a little knowing he was there watching over me but it also made me insanely aggravated both that I couldn’t just pluck him out of the crowd to hold onto or to slap him in the face for following me.
I couldn’t avoid him the whole time however because when we were in the hotel at least he never failed to make himself visible and I have a feeling that he either bribed or used his little gift on the sly to convince the holder of the room keys to give him a copy of ours.
After a long visit to the natural history museum – long because I had to practically pull Jeremy from the building explaining to him that the exhibits will not come to life at night just like walking through his closet will not get him to Narnia. We finally got back to our hotel room where I was ready to crash at any minute because I literally have not slept for like twenty seven hours. All I could think about was Dorian and how much I regret taking this whole grudge thing seriously I mean my whole life I happily suck at holding a grudge and now when I have the best boyfriend, the kindest, sweetest, hottest guy who wants to be with me for the literal meaning of forever I chose to get good at it.
I don’t understand it it’s like there’s two of me the original Emma who is stamping her foot in the corner like a child sulking at the big bad Dorian for not letting me do what I needed to do, for not letting me try to get to terms with the fact that this may be one of the last times Jeremy and I go away together. Then there’s the Emma that popped up right around the time Dorian came into my life who is moping in the other corner not seeing why Dorian coming here was a bad thing, who lit up like Times Square on New Years Eve when she saw him standing there ready to be held and kissed.
I stumbled into our suite dropping my bag and was about to collapse on the very inviting couch when I heard his voice, his beautifully smooth deep voice. I had to snap myself back realising I’d let it distract me into a daydream, I blinked and then stood back ramrod straight.
“You should have slept baby it’s not good for you to be walking around so tired” he chided me with genuine concern.
“I did sleep” I lied over my shoulder there’s no possible way he could know that I didn’t. Dorian’s hands rested on my shoulders as he turned me around to face him gently. I wanted him to hold me closer, to pull me against his chest but I can’t let go of my anger, because it’s not anger not really if that’s all it was I’d have let it go, it’s hurt that’s keeping me from him Dorian hurt me and I never thought he would and I know it’s childish to expect so much of a person like that, naive even but I did expect that of Dorian I thought he would be the one person I could count on to never hurt me and he did and in doing so he’s left my faith in him somewhat shaken and I don’t have the courage to let him in enough to fix that.
He sighed and hugged me to himself resting his cheek on the top of my head again. “No you didn’t, why don’t you take a nap now and I’ll pack up your things for you for the flight home”? It took me longer than I liked to respond to him I was too busy basking in his embrace and his smell and closeness.
“... No, I can do it”.
“I know you can but it doesn’t mean you have to, please let me do this Emma”. I could feel his outright loneliness through our bond, he was lonely? He missed me... I miss him too so much. He pulled back from me not letting go but just to look at me, right in the eyes. “Emma –“ he seemed to not have the words he needed like he was chocking on them. “Tell me what to do, I can’t take this I really can’t”.
“I don’t know what to tell you Dorian”.
“Tell me that you love me and that we’re going to be ok”.
“I love you” it was all I could tell him that was true and it broke me just as much as it broke him.
He took my face in his hands “I will fix this Emma I won’t stop until I do”.
I nodded “Good, cos I miss you too” a tear slipped out of my right eye, Dorian reached his hand out to wipe it away but I turned around and walked to my weekend bag and threw it on to my bed to get my stuff packed.
I was really feeling the no sleep now espically having to look at my super comfy hotel bed with it’s eygptian cotton sheets and feather stuffed quilt. I sighed and carried on stuffing my crap away gloomily until Jeremy popped up in my bra again, a different one this time – navy with cute little white polka dots. I let my laugh consume me because trust me when I say if I wasn’t laughing I would be crying.
“Jeremy what are you doing”?
“Seeing if I prefer this one... I think I like that lace one more though” he told me wriggling his eyebrows and making me laugh harder. I knew he was trying to cheer me up and it was working though why he chose to do it with my bra is beyond me.
“Give it back I need to pack” told him trying to look serious and reaching my hand out to take it.
He looked at me in mock outrage his hand on his heart “I can’t go out without a bra I don’t want people thinking I’m easy” I ran at him and hugged him tight. It was so easy to forget the bad with Jeremy and I’m going to miss him so much.
“I love you”.
He chuckled at me “I know I love you too... uh Em I’m a little uncomfortable with your position please remove your face from my stupendous rack” I frowned then realised my face was resting right between the breast cups and cracked up completely letting go of Jeremy and letting myself fall onto my bed on my stomach rolling with soundless laughter and gasping for breath.
When I calmed down I lay still trying to slow my breathing and waiting for the pain all my guffawing cost me. Jeremy had long since given up on me throwing my bra at me he went into the bathroom to have a shower.
I looked over to my right when I heard shuffling and saw Dorian neatly rearranging the things in my bag and putting the rest of my things he had found around the room in there too. As I watched him I had a paralysing desire to grab him to bring him to me so that I could feel close to him again and I know that all I have to do is ask and it’ll be done and it was so tempting. I miss him so much and I love him so much and worst of all I want him so much. Dorian’s eyes snapped to mine, damn bond nothing I feel is private anymore.
He walked around to stand in front of my still laying form and leant over me his hands either side of my head holding himself up. My breath caught in my throat as his eyes zeroed in on my soul, I really hate it when he does that staring through me like he can see everything, everything I’ve ever done or said or thought or felt laid out for him to look through at his leisure.
I thought he was going to do something drastic but he just leant his face closer and nudged it under my neck just resting there breathing me in and after his first breath there his whole frame relaxed but I wanted that too so I reached my arms up and wrapped them around his middle pulling him down to me. Not wanting to crush me he rolled with me so that I was laying on top of him and he continued to hide in my neck. It felt so good to be with him like this in each others arms after so long. Not even talking because we don’t need to we can sense more accurately in this silence than we would trying to communicate through words.
I felt at a completely different ease with Dorian than I did with Jeremy, Jeremy’s relief is only synthetic in the way that it’s made to imitate something that’s natural and in this case that’s the relief Dorian gives me, the feeling that everything is right in the world when we’re together and I never quite realise just how much chaos there is until I have him back and get the reprieve I’ve been craving.
I moved my left hand from it’s resting place on his chest and stretched it out and above my head so I could stroke my fingers through his hair. I guess we both have comfort addictions and trust me they are addictions – Dorian with nuzzling my neck with his nose and me with running my fingers through his hair.
Dorian’s arms tightened around my waist and he buried his head deeper into my neck. I sighed happily, content now that I have a hold on him.
My cell buzzed making me jump and I groaned knowing what it was. I started to get up from the bed but Dorian’s hold was unbreakable.
“Dorian, let go”.
“I can’t”.
“Why not? Are you stuck”? I asked half amused.
“Because I have no guarantee that I’ll get you back” he told me seriously. I turned my face to look at him saddened at that thought because he’s right.
“How about I promise to sit with you on the plane ride back instead of Jeremy”?
“Give me your word”.
“I give you my word” he nodded and let go so that I could get up and started searching the room for my things again.
“I’ve packed everything of yours already”.
“Ok” I muttered looking away from his face because now the I’ve gotten my peace of mind back there’s room to want him in another way a much more dangerous way. Well lets just say that the flight home is going to be interesting.
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SORRY it's taken so long and that not much is going on but hang on its the next chapter that has the action this is more of a build up chapter THANK YOU FOR READING PLEASE VOTE and COMMENT it means a lot
lildaydreamerxxxx