Lauren's POV
The thing about kissing is that you have to make it special. Like, you have to kiss under the rain to feel the droplets touch your face and somehow it's romantic when your eyes find each other and maybe, just maybe, you just have to book in a hotel room and kiss and just close the door and after all, nobody knows what happens behind closed doors.
But it's a different story when you kiss someone special because no matter where you do it, it always remains special.
Camila's back is pressed against the tiles of the wall in one of the stalls in our cafeteria's bathroom. She is staring into my eyes the way she stared at me that night- full of lust and hunger. When I stare at her back, I let my eyes wander the possibilities of everything by just looking at her whole face. It's her lips that are parted and her breathing that became slower and ragged or maybe it's her cheeks that reddened at the amount of heat our bodies give to each other. But mostly it's her eyes, those chocolate brown orbs, maybe people say it's normal and boring but to me they're anything but ordinary and it's special especially when she looks at you the way she's looking at me now.
"Camila Cabello, you are a crazy girl." I sigh in defeat before cupping both of her cheeks with my soft trembling hands and lean down to meet her face. I stare for another minute and it's as if a minute became longer than a minute that she stares at me like she fantasizes what my lips taste today. I grinned at her before ultimately losing myself to the whole situation and brought my lips into her shivering lips.
I gently kiss her lips and it was like a shot of electricity when she kisses me back again. It may be a fool of me but after that night, I would still think she wouldn't dare to kiss me. That today is a different story and what happened the other night was a total ripped off page. But she kisses me back hungrily, our lips lingering to each other like there are no people around us that can disturb and halt us any minute. Camila's arms betray her as she wraps them around my neck to deepen the kiss even more. If this was before, we would've stopped already. I would've stopped myself already. But she wanted this and I wanted this more than she probably does. I didn't even gather my options and by the way my hands roam around her back until it reaches the hem of her shirt, she almost gasped in total arousal. I touch her soft skin, the body that I've been craving to taste and to feel and to draw circles into. I'm almost too desperate to draw not only circles but infinities for her to remind that any minute that passes by when I'm with her like this, the time doesn't move and it's only us and just like the points in a line, it doesn't end.
I bite the bottom of her lip and she moans by the sudden act of confidence that ignites inside me. She doesn't let go of my lips and it doesn't even look like she would want to let go of my lips. Although I needed air, sucking into her lips was more than I intended to do than breathe air into my body. I didn't even notice that my hands reached almost the upper part of her body, my fingers too close to her breasts and there was no sign of rejection. She remains responding equally to my kisses and each kiss more intense than the last. "God... I w-want to...touch...y-you...properly..." I tell her in between breaths while her eyes are still closed and her hands around my neck.
"Do... w-what..ever... you w-want..." She almost said in a whisper into my ears and it was really true that when you do sexual things with someone special, even whispers sound music to your ears. I start to pull down her shirt exposing her firm breasts as my eyes zoom and focus into them. This is something new, I thought. This is something you do with someone you really trust and if that's the point then Camila really trusts me. My heart melted at the thought. God, I like this girl even more than before.
When I put my hands on the sides of her face to hold her and to tell her through my eyes that she can really trust me no matter what the circumstances are. Her phone buzzed. Good timing. "Oops, I have to check this." I give her back her black shirt for her to cover her whole body again. I saw all of that and she trusted me with that. Nobody can ever see that but me. Only me. The thought gives me goosebumps because of how selfish I may have sounded. She has a boyfriend who makes her sexually frustrated and I'm just someone who makes her feel complete by making out with her.
She wears her black shirt again as she checks on what the message is about. "It's Dinah. She wants to know where I am because she's starving." I look up at her, my face feeling so hot and heavy knowing what had just occurred. "Is there any problem with my face?"
I noticed that I've been staring at her. I quickly removed my gaze from her. "I'm s-sorry. It's just..... I dunno.... I'm actually not shy about what happens after. It's just..."
Camila walks her footsteps near me and surprisingly smiles at me warmly. "To make you feel better, I feel weird too. It still feels like this is a dream. Like it's not actually happening and I'm wondering if I'm fully aware of it or not."
"D-do you want this to be a dream?" She furrows her eyebrows still her gaze kept on mine. "I mean, if you want to stop. We can always st----."
She pouts at me. She does this cute little pout thing rarely and she's pouting at me. How am I even supposed to talk to her when she's like that in front of me? "Don't be like that, Lauren." Instead of answering, I just stare at her once again admiring how beautiful this girl and how lovely it is that she trusts her with her body and soon, her secrets. "There's really something in my face, isn't it? Did my face change? Oh God!" She quickly examines herself in the mirror and I'm left amused watching her.
"Your face doesn't change when you make out with another person, Camila." I tell her and she still remains on examining her face as if she'd really find something that has changed. Nevertheless, she will always look beautiful to me.
She looks at me after. "No! Your face changes. Like your cheeks get bigger or something because it reddens or like because your whole face flushes. I don't know just Lauren! This is y-your fault!" She exclaimed at me and no matter how much I wanted to laugh; I couldn't because she'll get even more annoyed and pissed.
"How is this supposed to be my fault?" I mock her by furrowing my eyebrows and walking my way behind her.
"B-because...." I run my fingers on her back as she continues on her remark. "You...." Then suddenly she turned to meet my eyes with her own eyes. "You keep looking at me, Lauren."
I find myself smiling at her in return. "How am I supposed to stop myself from looking at you?" I ask her back.
She smirks. "I didn't say for you to actually stop. Maybe I just want you to refrain yourself from looking at me like not every time you see me."
"Talk about confidence! You are one smartass, Cabello!" I find myself saying in between laughter I share with her. "And here I thought you're capable of nothing but to write."
She pretends to look hurt and offended by what I said. "You should really watch your mouth. It's really better when you use it with something else." She averts her gaze on my lips and if it wasn't the sound of another phone buzzing, I would've kissed her again, against the bathroom sink.
"We should really get going." She said almost above whisper.
"Yeah, we should." I agreed.
When we get back to the girls, I distance myself from Camila. That's one of her rules, our relationship should remain confidential and that no one will know about it except her and me, at least. I can't really expect anything more from her really, but if it means that I'll get to spend more time with her then I'd be willing to take the risks. We are sat with the girls in the garden, Ally sharing with us her baked chocolate pie with hershey's chocolate on top while Normani and Dinah watching another dance video in their phones. I on the other hand remain my distance from Camila and start feeling awkward about it.
"So Mila, what's your plan for Valentine's Day?" Oh shoot, I almost forgot about Valentine's Day. It's not that I would celebrate it with anyone, anyway. "Any wonderful plans with Austin?" Dinah asks Camila still her eyes glued to her phone.
I look at Camila who's somehow contemplating on whether to answer the question or not. "Well... he hasn't told me about his plans yet but sure I'll let you know when there is."
"Sure there is, after all he's the famous dorito boy. Maybe he'll treat you to the most famous dorito shop and you'll eat tons of doritos until you realize you aren't meant for him." Dinah states almost too hurriedly that Normani and Ally share laughter.
Normani and Ally stopped laughing when they noticed Camila's serious face. "Okay Mila she's just joking. Anyway Ally you have plans with Troy?" My eyes widen glaring at Normani. "O-oh shoot! I literally just forgot!" Ally doesn't seem unfazed about it.
"You know what guys if you all don't have any plans at all, then we can just celebrate Valetine's together!" Ally's brilliant idea makes me smile in thoughts. More time with Camila. When I was about to share my own ideas about Valetine's, Ally's gaze is already on someone else when I look at her and there it is, the one and only Austin Mahone. The one who is legal to do anything with Camila. The thought makes me jealous as I turn my fist into a ball without someone noticing. Dinah and Normani muttered under their breaths. "Speak of the clueless devil."
"Hey Austin! What are you doing here?"
"Mahone! You wanted to see Camila?"
I almost wanted to burst out laughing because of how much the tone of their voices sounded like they really didn't want Austin to be here in the exact same place at the moment. Only Ally though is the one kind enough to actually guide him to where Camila's seated. As much as I wouldn't want to, I have to distance myself more from her. Austin smiles at her warmly and Camila even returns his smile back. They keep looking at each other like lovebirds and if only memories are to hit like a train, Camila would be dead ass by now.
Austin comfortably sits beside Camila, his smile not leaving his face."Hello Camila." He says to her.
"Hi Austin." They talk to each other sweetly I would kill each ant that goes to me one by one.
Dinah and Normani pretend that they're too busy watching some video on their phones still while Ally attentively listens to what Austin has to say. "Uhhh... C-camila. I wanted to know if.... If you are.... if you have any plans for the V-valentine's Day?" Are you fucking kidding me? I stare at Camila's features, if they're about to change to show a slight of disgust or annoyance but instead she smiles prompting him to continue. "I'd really like to be with you on the Valentine's Day." I didn't even notice that I was the one whose facial features changed into huge annoyance.
"Awww Austin. You are blushing." Ally tells him and he smiles at Ally too which makes me hate him even more.
The way Austin declared it proudly as if Camila's all his and Camila really wants to be his. Austin's eyes seemed to ask for confirmation from Camila and the way Camila said yes. The way she smiled in between words of saying yes to him and going out with him made my stomach churn. "Yes, I'd love to go with you Austin."
"Oh God Beyonce literally slay every time and everywhere!" Dinah exclaimed. Normani remains staring at her while the others seem to be staring at her too. "Course, did I miss something?"
"Dinah Jane." Camila looks at her disappointed. "Austin and I are going out on Valentine's Day." She adds.
Dinah and Normani then yelled like they're really into the idea of Camila and Austin being together. If only you look closer, you'd see the disgust in their eyes. But Camila is their friend so they just agreed to it anyway. Austin decidedly put his fingers on top of Camila's and this is my cue, this is it. I can't take it anymore. I stand up from my seat and pretend to be coughing so they'd know I'm feeling a little nauseous.
"Lo! Where are you going?!" Ally asks me. I stare at Ally trying to remain civil about it. She would know if I'm lying. But really? Who doesn't lie anyways?
I respond to her. "Not feeling well. Just gonna go to the comfort room." Ally looks at me suspiciously and I shrug it off. I walked hurriedly to the main halls of the university not realizing who I'd actually bump into at this point. Maybe it's the way people care about you and then at one point they'll stop. That's what I feel about Camila and I. It's like there is something that's bound to grow but there is also someone stopping it from growing. I reached the girls' comfort room and placed my bag on the sink before examining myself to the mirror.
It has only been a few weeks that I agreed to Camila's proposal and somehow, even there were lots of hungry and lustful kisses shared, I regret that I ever agreed to it. Camila has changed drastically too though, she started making more friends and going out with some people Dinah and Normani introduced her with. But the proposal, it's like she stopped me from having my equal chances of actually having her, of actually being with her. It was really no fair but I agreed to it because at the moment those words left her mouth, there was only one thing in my mind; time. There would be more time for me to be able to see her eyes that somewhat seemed bound to meet mine, to touch her body closer to mine and to study her flaws which only make her perfect. There would be more time for us, there will be no other excuses and reasons for her to not see me because she would always see me and the only downside of it is that there's always only one reason. It's for us to make out while the other kisses the other person with so much feelings, she kisses the other person just because she's experimenting.
Camila can deny it anytime but that's who she really is to her. A fucking experiment. Why did she have to choose her anyway and most importantly why did I have to choose her?
Why did my freaking little bitch of a heart choose her when clearly there are a lot of girls who come to me and basically offer themselves at me? Why did her voice sound so much better when she's flustered and stuttering on what she's about to say? Why did she have to change and go out with someone who doesn't deserve her? Why did she have to walk into that mini bar and make me forget about my past? Why did she have to exist in my life and never left? Why do I keep thinking about her? Why do I ache for her? I cover my face with my two bare hands at the sudden breakdown.
My phone then buzzed informing that I got a new text. When I check on it, the text came from Camila. Oh God please let me just forget about her for a freaking day and let it all happen by your way. I opened it anyway.
C: Laur what happened? Are you ok?
I decide to reply so nothing would be suspicious.
L: Just not feeling well. Don't worry.
When I'm about to put my phone back in my pocket, it buzzed once again.
C: Where are you? Can we talk?
L: We are talking already.
C: No silly! Like talk- talk! Do you have a problem? You looked pissed.
L: I didn't look pissed. I was pissed.
C: Why? Did someone ruin your beautiful day?
L: You guessed that right huh!
C: Well it's pretty easy to know what's on your mind.
L: How can you know it when you're not even around me?
C: Maybe because...
I didn't notice that our conversation just kept on going. Camila really has a way of making me talk things through like she has this magical power that can make you feel the want of opening up. I don't mind though, because she's Camila and I trust her as much as she trusts me.
"I am around you, Lauren." I almost gasped in horror when Camila's face revealed from my back.
"What the hell Camz!" I blurt out! "Seriously, don't do it again. In case you noticed we're in a comfort room and there's pretty much horror stories that involve a comfort room." Camila laughs at me. God, how I really love the sound of her laugh. It made me want to join in her laugh too but decided against it.
She stares at me as she speaks. "I'm just teasing Lauren. Is there something wrong?" The only thing wrong about today is the way you acknowledged Austin's presence like I didn't exist in your world, I thought. "Look, if you're having problems on how to ask someone on Valentine's Day then you can always ask for my help." She says proudly.
"And how are you supposed to help me?" I ask her in mischievous tone.
She kinks an eyebrow as she continues her wonderful advice. "Well, first look at her with your green eyes. Then touch her hand and slowly trap it inside your own. Don't ever stop looking at her with your eyes, okay?" I find myself nodding while my eyes are glued on hers and she surprisingly trapped one of my hands in her own. "And then, caress her cheek with your remaining hand." She caresses my cheek and with all this demonstration, my cheeks feel hot. "Then slowly, carefully, ask her." She inches closer to me. "Will you go out on Valentine's Day with me?" She slowly, carefully, asked me not leaving my eyes and seems to be waiting for my answer.
"Y-yes, Camz." I answered truthfully. Even if this was only a demonstration, she remains staring at me, this time in confusion and astonishment. I pull away from her touch and look away. "What?!"
"What's with the nickname?" Nickname? What? I give her the look of confusion. "You just called me Camz. Twice. You never called me Camz before. It's either Camila or Cabello." She says as I recall.
"Oh right I'm sorry. It's the shock you gave me. I was about to say Camila but then my mouth stopped from Cam and Cam didn't sound good enough so it added the 'z' sound because z just zzzgoood." I answer her question with sense of humor and she smiles like she wants to laugh again.
"God, you're such a dork Laur." I smile at her. "But really, you should ask someone out, Laurenza."
"Now who's calling nicknames?" I tease her and she glares at me. "Uh oh! I better run or hide. What shall I pick?"
To my surprise, she didn't answer, instead she pressed her lips into mine in an instant that it didn't give me a chance to kiss her back. She pulled away so fast that it's like a lightning bolt.
"None of the above." She said.