Nate was watching a movie with Serena, but he wasn't paying attention. He was thinking about Jenny. It was over a month since he had been intimate with her. At the time he technically had not been Serena's boyfriend, so he never told her about Jenny. And true to her word Jenny said nothing too. Nate was beginning to realize that maybe he didn't love Serena, that it had always been obsession. She had been the one he couldn't have for so long. Neither of them truly was in deep love with the other. There was passion, great sex, but something was missing. Almost like it was all about Serena instead of mutual discovery. She was comfortable with Nate, but he was her rebound. He had a feeling that eventually she'd find someone new to capture her heart. Jenny he still helped with school and her business. He was almost like a consultant. They were good friends again and that's how he knew she wasn't dating anyone else. At first she'd been a little shy around him, after their hook up. But Jenny focused on her school stuff and designing so that passed. He knew she was going to her councillor regularly, since she often shared with him what they'd talked about. Eventually even Rufus revoked the grounded status, because Jenny had proven she was more responsible now. She was back to average in grades at school. The contract that Lilly and Rufus had finally approved with Chuck, had conditional clauses that Jenny had to finish high school and take a few college courses too. Designing her clothing is what drove Jenny to rebel originally and it is now what kept her focused and down to earth.
The other day Jenny had shown Nate that she had re-created the dresses that Agnes had burned when that friendship had exploded. They weren't exactly the same, they were better. She had looked at him and he had wanted to kiss her badly, but restrained himself. There was intense chemistry between them. But neither was ready yet. But it was getting harder and harder to keep his hands off Jenny. When she had been showing him the dresses, he had caught a view of her changing, via a mirror, and his body had responded. Then she had tripped coming out of her room, he caught her and they had a moment of sexual awareness, before Nate stepped back. When Jenny touched his leg casually when talking, he was focused on where her hand rested. Nate knew if she was in the room, even if she said nothing and his back was to her. These feelings were only with Jenny and not with Serena.
Rufus allowed Jenny to go out with Serena, Blair, Chuck, Nate and Eric to a dance club. Eric went to find his boyfriend, while the girls headed for the dance floor. Chuck and Nate got a booth and ordered drinks.
"You're staring at her," Chuck said nudging Nate's arm.
"What?" Nate said distractedly.
"Serena will notice you watching Jenny."
Nate hadn't realized it until Chuck voiced it. He had been watching Jenny on the dance floor, not Serena. Chuck wasn't about to let it die easily either. "What happened between you and Jenny?"
"I'm with Serena, you know that." Nate dodged.
"That's not what I asked and you know it. Have another drink and then go dance between them," Chuck said devilishly.
It would be stepping into a fire pit, but Nate couldn't just sit there jealously. When Jenny danced up against a guy, he wanted to punch out the one she chose. He'd never relax. Two shots of whisky and he made his move. Chuck laughed behind him, enjoying the potential drama. On the dance floor Blair, Serena and Jenny joined him. Nate was in a circle of girls for a few songs, then Blair joined Chuck. Serena made it into a Nate sandwich, pressing up behind him and encouraging Jenny to dance back up on him. The song playing was perfect for their threesome dance. Nate had his hands on Jenny, when she turned and motioned she needed a drink. She left Nate dancing with Serena.
Jenny went into the ladies washroom and just stood there in front of the mirror a few minutes. She splashed some cold water on her face, dried up and fixed her make-up.
'What am I doing?' She thought to herself. 'If Blair sees me interested in Nate, she will be militant on behalf of Serena.'
Jenny went to the table and sat beside Chuck, he gave her a shot and she downed it. Blair was already back on the dance floor. Chuck gave her another shot of whisky. He leaned closer to her as he passed the drink.
Chuck couldn't resist adding fuel to the fire, "Nate can't keep his eyes off you."
Jenny looked at Chuck, said nothing and downed the shot again. She ordered a coke, not wanting to get drunk and loose her control. She was struggling to show nothing as it was. Eric came by at the perfect moment and provided an escape. He was leaving with his boyfriend Mark. Jenny asked if they would drop her off at home and they agreed. She told everyone she had a headache and avoided meeting Nate's eyes. Eric was too distracted by Mark, to notice anything, which she was glad for in the limo.
At home Jenny took an almost cold shower. Then once in her comfy clothes, did some quick clothing sketches. Afterward Jenny wrote in her journal. She let out on paper all the details about the night. She released her tortured thoughts about Nate. Her journal was the only thing that kept her sanity around him. Lately she noticed every detail of their encounters. When they'd been dancing tonight, her body reacted in a way that shocked her. Feeling him grinding against her, his hands on her stomach and hip, made her tingle with anticipation. Jenny had felt this deep inner shiver that was primal and completely sexual. Even putting it in her journal made her all hot and bothered again. But she'd rather feel this longing and have him in her life, then nothing at all. As complicated as it seemed, she was enjoying the wait. It was a game of control and made her feel very alive. Jenny touched the fading cut scar on her wrist. She'd never do that again, too much of life to live for and explore. Not yet tired, she picked up her sketch book and drew. Eventually she fell asleep.
In the morning Jenny looked at her sketches and realized that sexual tension helped her creative release. The drawings she had started last night, were edgier, more adult, they were fantastic. She needed to go check out fabrics to fuel this new direction. Once she showered and changed, she wolfed down breakfast. She was at the table looking through Friday's mail. Two things caught her eye; a magazine on asian fashion trends, and a letter to Serena from Carter. Jenny left the letter under another piece of the mail for Serena and decided cloth shopping could wait. She wanted to see how Serena would react. So the magazine was her focus as she sat on the couch. This gave her perfect view of the mail pile.
Serena arrived with Nate, Jenny overheard her talking about last night. Serena said, "what got into you last night?"
Nate replied, "what?"
Serena clarified with a giggle, "you were wild and demanding!"
Jenny grinned to herself. If Nate felt anything like she had, being around each other, then he'd been needing release. And she had something to do with that. Jenny loved knowing that she could drive Nate as crazy as he did her. That alone was worth it to wait for him.
"Good morning Jenny," Serena said.
"Hi Serena... Nate. Oh, Serena there's mail for you. Can I have the Fashion Magazine when you're done with it? There is a Milan article I want to read."
"Okay, sure." Serena said heading for the mail.
Nate looked at Jenny and she refused to meet his eyes, keeping hers on the magazine in her lap. She knew he wanted to make contact. Jenny only looked up when Serena gasped.
"What's wrong?" Nate asked re-directing his attention to Serena.
Jenny watched Serena hide Carter's letter in another magazine. 'Interesting,' Jenny thought.
"Um... nothing, I've just been waiting for this magazine forever, that's all." Serena recovered quickly.
Nate's eyes narrowed, he knew she was lying. He let it go for now. "Ok, you women and your magazines," he shrugged.
Serena excused herself and went to her room. Nate stayed. Jenny had no escape, try as she might, Nate would not be ignored. "Did you have fun last night?" He asked her.
Jenny looked him straight in the eyes and smiled, "as much as you did."
Nate smirked and winked at her. Jenny laughed out loud. "You helped fuel some interesting designs."
"I'd like to see them some time."
"I bet you do," Jenny said with a grin.
Nate chuckled, "no seriously."
So Jenny showed him her sketch pad and told him she would be checking out fabric today. Nate was impressed with what he saw and told her he noticed it was not her usual style. But he wasn't going to be distracted this time.
"So who was the letter from?" Nate said so casually he caught Jenny off guard.
"You saw a letter?" Jenny tried to recover.
Nate looked at her pointedly. She didn't want to lie to him, so she replied, "not for me to say, ask Serena."
"Fair enough," he said and went to do so. He knocked on Serena's bedroom door, "Serena?"
Serena invited him into her room. Jenny decided it was a good time to leave. She grabbed her stuff and left. Nate and Serena had some things to work through alone. She had fabric to find. She would just focus on her designs and wait to see what happened. As she had promised Nate before, she would stay out of their way. For now Jenny was content knowing that Nate still wanted her too.