Song for the chapter: Nelly Furtado-All good things(come to an end)
***
The sun was coming down, and the wind was starting to gently blow as the air got cooler. I was starting to get drowsy, and with every passing second I was regretting ever coming here.
I've finally reached the limit of mental exhaustion and am in a state between madness and calmness. I knew I had to get away or I would never be the same again. My only escape was to leave, and although the decision was clearly absurd, I didn't care.
I've mastered to drive us home with the damaged car, my damp hair and clothes were still clinging onto my body and thanks to the broken windshield I've been shivering without stopping from the rain and wind.
My eyebrows were furrowed as a mist of rain washed over my skin as I walk absentmindedly to the mansion.
Harry and I walk to the front door slowly, he opened the door, we skirt inside.
We're not a second inside the living room where Louis and Alice were pacing up and down until they saw us and immediately scurried to us.
"Olivia what happened?" she asked and tried to warm me by running her hands up and down my arms.
No sound left my lips I turn to face her and she grimaced sadly upon seeing my face. Then she hugged me, I wrap my hands on her smaller frame and just enjoy the warmness and compassion she always has for me.
//
I took a long shower, cleaning all the filth I felt and to get rid of the tiredness off my back, clear my mind. Then I'm wearing a thick sweater with blue jeans to get more cozy and Alice is in my room when I'm back, she expectantly looked at me.
"Liv, Harry told me and I can't believe what he did to you. He's probably not knowing-"
"I don't want to talk about it. I'm done with it Alice." I groggily told her, voice flat, my stare bored onto her eyes. She frowned deeply, walking to me touching my hand. I sighed when she looked at me like I wasn't right in the head then I bit my lip under my teeth.
"Something happened. This isn't a normal occurrence in our house. They had no idea where Zayn was for days. And then Harry disappeared and now you're back with him." she explained, running her hand on her messily curled short hair as she tried to make sense of the situation. I gaze at her confused and exhausted. "Liv, I'm not saying this because I'm trying to comfort you. There's seriously some real issues that not even Liam or Louis know about. I'm really worried." she blinked, slowly talking, and thought about something, her eyes darting to the floor."We still don't know where Zayn is. His phone isn't working." she looked back up to me with concerned emerald pools of eyes and awaited for my reaction. I shrugged.
"He probably wants to be sure I will leave before he's back." my voice comes out strong, "I should pack and leave." I mumble.
"Liv, what if something happened that forced him to take this decision?" she tried.
She's reading to much into this. Like I did. But Zayn's a good mind player, I thought about how he acted with me these days, he could fool anyone. I got my mind made up that the true Zayn is the one who humiliated me in that dinner and no other. Literally, how could he be so heartless all the time and I stupidly believe him when he is nice and caring for only two days at most. Actions should show more than words and sadly this was the truth about Zayn too. I'm slightly disappointed at myself for forgiving him so quickly.. No, I regret forgiving him at all.
"Every time I think about it and want to find something like you do right now, it ends with me in tears." I countered defensively, shaking my head, laying my hands on my hips. "I called him a few hours ago and he didn't care. It was too much for him to even talk with me Alice." my voice wavered when I remembered that phone call and I hate it. So I took a deep breath and look at her, "Please let us not talk about this anymore. I want at least to enjoy the time I've got with you."
She sighed frustrated but nods.
"What were you up to while I wasn't here?" I questioned while I begin to pack my things. I take the pile of my clothes and immaculately put them on a black bag.
We ate together earlier and now she's helping me with my clothes.
"Not much. Actually Liam was trying to find Zayn-" she winced and closed her eyes, "Sorry." she immediately apologized with sad eyes and sighed an aggravated sigh. I shrug.
When we're done with the clothes we sit on my bed, talking randomly as I listened to the rapid sound of the heavy water droplets hitting the window.
//
***three days later***
I've waited for any of them to bring me home but they took Harry and have locked themselves in the basement to find out what had happened.
Nonetheless I needed to get away from this place, it reminded me of him, everything did. If I didn't get away I would become insane with all of the unanswered questions that are in my brain, lingering and waiting the moment to overwhelm me.
I couldn't let that happen.
With that thought in my mind I want to demand for at least a ticket or some.money. I walk quickly down to the basement while I survey the house on my way there.
My hand circled around the knob of the door, clutching it tightly, slowly twisting it around and pushing it a bit when I heard arguing.
"That doesn't sound like a concrete plan and you let him pull through with it?" Liam shouted, I shrank to myself at his cutting voice. I stood still frowning and listening to them.
I had to know what this was about so I eavesdrop.
"He knew you wouldn't understand." Harry's voice was grave and deep.
"Of course I don't. What the fuck is wrong with him? And all this because of who?" he seethed, "For curly birdie. That fucking bitch who has no idea about anything." he spat, I gulp and froze. Again that nonsense about how he did it for me. What did he do for me? Trample my bloody feelings perhaps? "You should have told me."
"Liam. You can't blame her." Louis calmly stated. A small grateful smile curled my lips that he's defending me."It's too late. We have to take our money and leave."
A frown took place on my features.. I'm so confused.
"Shut the fuck up. We will leave when I say. I'm in charge when he's not here." he countered. I've never heard Liam in this way, I could hear his enraged breath where I was standing. His loud and heavy footsteps made me more cautious while he was pacing.
"It's been three days, you couldn't locate him." Niall interfered. A whole new shot of fear flowed through my body.
Where is he?
"It's not easy to get out of this. Do you know how many underground clubs, merch, and dealers there are? What about the cops that are corrupted? They won't like this either." Liam snapped, "We have been doing this for a long time, we're the best at it and Zayn was born into it. He can't just fucking decide it like this. They'll torture him and try to get all of his properties, then kill him off on the side of a street. We're not safe either, they'll force us under their commands."
This isn't about what I think it is...
Swallowing hardly, I quickly push the door open, all eyes fell on me. It takes me a minute to talk because they all look awful, with messy oily hair, bags under their eyes.
"What's going on?" I barely question, they watch me with uneasy stares."Harry you said he didn't want me. What the fuck is going on?" I shriek at him once my eyes settle at him. I had enough of the nervosity in me and fear of misjudging something. He looked to his feet. Besides that he looked stressed Harry looked way better after his tracheotomy, the paleness he had had disappeared, he had his hair in a man bun and luckily looked healthy.
Liam scowled, "You want to know? You wouldn't be able to stand the truth."
"Tell me." I urged.
"Liam, don't." Louis interrupted, his gaze went from Liam to I before he cautiously said, "Olivia, I'll bring you home."
I shake my head, walking backwards, "No. I need to know." I'm barely breathing, shaking so much like I'm physically not prepared for the next words Liam would say.
"He wanted to get out of the gang." Liam responded hauntingly."He's probably dead by now." he rasped through gritted teeth. His look scared me."No, not probably," he corrected with squinted eyes, "He is not alive, because of you." he sneered at my wide eyes. "You changed him. Look what you did!"
"No, there has to be a way we can still find him." I denied him hurriedly with panic but he crushed my hopes.
"I already tried!!" he boomed walking until he's in front of me, I jumped up in fear. "No one has seen him. They most likely threw him on a dumpster or cemented him somewhere."
A vividly image of that imprints in my head and I pale.
"No, no, no." I chant grabbing and tugging on my hair."Why did he do that?" I choke.
"Liam." Louis again tried with a strained voice. None of them wanted to believe it.
"She has to hear what she did." Liam countered looking to the side where Louis was then glowered to me with pure hate."It's been three days he's lost like he never existed. You killed him. You sent him to die." he bitterly spoke, sharp pinches were on my chest all the time his words left his mouth."He died because of you. Even if he has survived from their tortures, he will still tell them to kill him because he wanted you to be safe, the only way was to send you home. But he knew you would never be safe with people wanting to harm him. He knew they'd be after you, so he chose to die." he's out of breath after his rant, biceps bulging because he's curling his hands to fists, only in a black wide tank top. And I could detect a flicker of emotion in his voice. He was sad.
After his words I could no longer feel. I could hear my heart harshly pounding against my chest, my pulse ringing against my ears. The frantic feeling vanished all together, pushing me into a numb state as my vision was now nothing but a blur of unshed tears. The lump on my throat hurt when I tried to swallow it back, and I sniffled.
And all I ever did was blame him, I refused to think about him because I thought he was done with me, that he lied and used me... but he was only wanting to keep me save. I always was suspicious and never took things to face value, why now? If I'd have been stubborn again, Zayn would be alive.
The thought caused a permanent ache to be tattooed into my chest. The thought of Zayn being gone and never having the chance to gaze into the hazel chestnut of his eyes again because he rescued me... it hurt too much. With him, there wasn't a moment where I didn't feel safe.
He shouldn't have. How could he do that to me?
It all made my stomach twist. My mind was starting to go blank as my thoughts rushed together into one. But I was glued in place, not daring to move as I continued to stare at Liam's hate contorted face and he is punishing me with the gaze.
The smallest of sounds irritated me like me irregular breathing and sniffles. I stood there, watching him through my blurry vision. I couldn't speak because he was right, it happened because of me and I turned around, covering my eyes with the long sleeves that hung over my knuckles, the sounds of my crying muffled from the thick fabric.
Someone wrapped their arms around me just as I scream onto my hand, by the light brown boots I knew it was Harry. I was surprised by his affection towards me, but soon realized that he probably just felt bad. He smelled of expensive french cologne and spear mint. My body raked with heavy heaves of choked sobs as I fisted his violet knit sweater and dug my head on his chest.
He's gone.
Everything seemed to be crashing down around me. I felt like I was under a mass of water, about to drown, my lungs fighting for air.
No one else is to blame but me.
After a while I pull away from Harry, he reluctantly let me go eyeing me with heavy concern. Now Alice was here too, instantly hugging me to her chest.
She whispered in my ear how sorry she was that all bad things were happening to me. It warmed my broken heart for a bit. But when I felt them watch me I couldn't take the guilt.
I even thought Zayn would come right back any minute now, but he never did. It seemed too out of reach and too bizarre but I hoped. Their stares told me that there's nothing to be done. Liam tried too but it was too late.
I'm sluggishly turning my back to her and wandering aimlessly through the hall, trying to form coherent thoughts as exhaustion rained over my helpless body. My head was pounding with grief and worry. My gasps were frantic and quick as I'm trying to slow down my sobs... I could no longer feel.
And while I massaged my chest I suddenly felt the rings of his necklace, someone called Liam, my steps slowed down, hand supporting my body while touching the wall.
"T-They what?" he alarmingly questioned.
Oh god.
I squeezed my eyes shut tightly, my lungs grew tight and burned me.
"No, don't fucking touch his body-" he warningly howled but I couldn't make out the rest of his sentence because my heart went to cardiac arrest.
My breath knocked out of my chest, I froze.
The haziness made my eyes roll at the back of my head, as my exhausted body could no longer take reality, and I knew that that feeling was fainting when I fell to the ground...
*a.n/ Sorry for all the emotional chaps. And NO this is NOT the ending. Please vote, thanks for reading.