°Zahra Addler°
I knocked on my mom's bedroom door but got no answer and usually I'd leave them come back later because she was more than likely sleeping but something told me to go in.
I turned the door handle and pushed the door open, immediately scanning the room for her but she wasn't in the bed where she was supposed to be. My eyes fell on the locked bathroom door and I made my way over to it.
I knocked and waited for her to say something but she didn't so I turned the door handle and went in because she had a thing where she'd make a bed in the bathtub and lay in there for hours.
"Mama?" I called when I didn't see any signs of her upon entering but I soon caught a glimpse of her when I walked further into the bathroom. "Mom?" She didn't answer and I walked over to the tub.
She had her back turned to me and I took a seat on the edge of the tub before leaning down to brush her hair out of her face. She was truly a beauty and I could definitely see why my dad loved her the way he did because aside from her beauty, she had a beautiful heart and I felt like the world didn't deserve her.
They say we choose our parents before we're born and in the case of my Dad, I was sure I picked him but in the mom department, someone along the lines messed it up because if I had to choose again, it would be Iyana.
I examined her face and I saw the dried tears on her cheeks but also the tears in the corner of her eyes. My heart ached for her because she didn't deserve all the bad things that happened to her. "Mama?" I shook her gently trying my best not to startle her out of her sleep because I knew what a pain that could be. "Mom?" I shook her again and she stirred with a groan. "Hey. Mom, it's me." I shook her once more and this time her eyes fluttered open.
Her eyes fell onto my face and she quickly sat up swiping at her eyes as she tried to collect herself. "Are you okay baby?" She asked as she scanned my face and body for any signs that I was hurt.
"I'm fine."
"Good. Good."
"Are you okay?" I knew she wasn't because even though she let on that she didn't care that she lost the baby, it hurt her more than anything else because I overheard her on the phone talking to her friend Shavelle and she had been saying how what Sabrina said to her had her feeling like she was less than then to lose the baby after that, that couldn't have been an easy pill to swallow.
"Yeah, did Mrs. Mitch leave yet?"
"She did."
"I just fell asleep, I didn't mean to leave you in the house by yourself. I'm sorry."
"It's okay, I'm fine."
"Good cause your father wouldn't forgive me if I let anything happen to you." She sighed in what I assumed was relief but maybe it was something else. "Mi wouldn't know di first ting fi seh tuh him."
"Are you hungry?"
"No."
"Yuh affi eat smthn cause yuh nuh eat since last night."
"I don't really have an appetite Z."
"But yuh nah try."
"I don't want to eat the food then have to bring it back up."
"Yuh nuh affi eat wah Mrs. Mitch cook suh just tell mi weh yuh want fi eat an mi mek it." Big up her, aunt Debbie and Mrs. Mitch for showing me the ropes because there were only a few things that I couldn't cook right now but I was getting there.
"I'll be fine Z, stop worrying about me."
"Not wen yah try fi run yuh self inna di ground. What would you tell me?" If anything were to happen to her den dem betta prepare fi bury mi wid her cause weh she leff mi fi duh.
"Okay, I'll try to eat some dinner then."
"Yay. Come." She held out her hand and I helped her up. "I got you something."
"You didn't have to."
"I know." She followed me out of the bathroom and the room until we got downstairs to the kitchen. "Sit." She climbed onto one of the stools at the island and I washed my hands so I could make her plate.
"Not too much."
"Okay." I dished out the food and placed the plate in front of her before pouring her some juice. "Here you go."
"Thank you."
"I'll be right back." I left the kitchen to go get the stuff that I had bought her. I got her a dozen white roses, a little necklace, a card and a few self care items like her favourite candles and the whole works. "These are for you." I said with a smile as I walked back into the kitchen and her eyes welled up with tears.
"Come here you." She abandoned the food as she slid off the stool and pulled me into a hug seemingly not even interested in what I had gotten her but I knew that was far from it. "I love you so much and thank you."
"I love you too."
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
I knocked on the door to my dad's office and waited for an answer which took forever but he eventually answered.
"It's open." I pushed the door open and went in to see him working at his desk. "Is everything okay?" He asked when he looked up and saw me.
"Everything is good." I plopped down in one of the chairs in front of his desk and scanned the room, just now realizing that there was someone else in here with him. "Are you busy?"
"Mi ave some work fi finish up, why?"
"Can you go to lunch with me and I need some money?"
"How much money are we talking?"
"Anything yuh wah give mi, mi nuh really a demand nthn cause a beg mi a beg."
"Suh two dollar good?"
"Be for real sir, wah two dollar can buy these days? Yuh nuh like si yuh only daughter smile?" He chuckled as he reached for his wallet that was on the desk next to his laptop and opened it. I watched him as he pulled a few brand new five and one thousand dollar bills from his wallet and handed them to me.
"Dat good?" He asked and I held up my hand to tell him to hold on while I counted it. "Well?" I counted thirty thousand dollars in total which made me super happy.
"Yes, thank you daddy." I said smiling as I pulled out my purse and put the money in. My dad wasn't like other dads who would make me work for anything because the whole point of him working so hard was so I didn't have to. That didn't mean he didn't teach me the ways of the world and how to appreciate how fortunate I was but he didn't believe in me struggling in the name of learning life lessons.
Me not asking for anything was just how I was as a person and I only asked for stuff when I needed it.
"Anything for you princess." He opened his mouth to say something but he closed it. "Denielle?"
"Yes sir."
"Y dis a seh yuh set di meeting wid Hoylett fi tomorrow wen mi ask yuh fi set it fi Thursday?"
"Remember that you have a flight to catch on Thursday so tomorrow you have an open slot that I used to your advantage. You're welcome."
"Thanks." She walked up to his desk with a folder and placed it in front of him.
"Hi Zahra."
"Hi."
"You don't remember me but I'm Denielle."
"Oh kl."
She smiled but I didn't. "I need your signature on these docs." I watched her hand on his shoulder and her body language as he signed whatever documents she asked him to and it didn't sit right with me. "I'll be back."
She took up the folder and walked around his desk before leaving the room. Once I heard the door open and close, I looked over at him. "Suh fi har hand dem cyaan stay a fi har side?"
"Watch it." He said with a stern look but I was used to him by now so that didn't really faze me.
"I get it, stay outta big ppl bizniz but not wen it comes on to my mother suh punish mi if yuh want."
"Anything that you think you saw, you didn't see shit." Not this man trying to gaslight me, a weh him tek mi fa?
"Let's hope you know what you're doing and this doesn't turn out ugly." I got up from the chair and grabbed my bag so I could leave.
"What about lunch?"
"Lost my appetite." And I really had because I wasn't dumb enough to not see that clearly he was out doing things he wasn't supposed to because him and my mom weren't broken up.
She was going through such a tough time and instead of him keeping to himself, he was doing something that he knew would hurt her.
Did he even love her like he said he did and even if they did call it quits, he had surely moved on quickly, almost like nothing ever happened between them.
"Z."
"Goodbye father." I turned around and left without another word to him. I felt conflicted because I wanted to tell someone what I saw but I didn't want to risk it getting back to my mom and by no means was I trying to protect my dad because wrong was wrong but her heart was already breaking so I couldn't add to that.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°
I knocked on Amyra's bedroom door and waited for her to say something. "Come in." I turned the handle and pushed the door open before going in and shutting it behind me. "What are you doing over here?"
"I wanted to talk to you."
"Everything good?" She asked with a concerned look as she scanned my body to make sure I was okay.
"I'm fine." I sighed and walked over to where she was laying in bed. "I wanted to talk about my dad."
"What about him?"
"Do you know his assistant?"
"I do but why?"
"Mi know seh anuh my bizniz cause a big ppl bizniz, yada yada yada but mi feel like smthn a gwaan weh nuh supposed to a gwaan."
"Smthn like?" She asked sitting up, her interest clearly peaked.
"I stopped by his office today and she was too comfortable rubbing over his shoulders and what not."
"Yuh lie."
"Mi nav nuh reason fi a mek dis up Amyra."
"Yuh sure seh anuh just overhear yuh overhear dem a talk bout it an yah read too much into whatever yuh think yuh si?" Why did she not believe or maybe I was just seeing things.
"So that's why they aren't talking now?" I asked more to myself after the realization hit and she had every reason to not want him around if she had to be looking over his shoulder. "Yuh neva si smoke without fire."
"Weh yuh mean dem nah talk?"
"We've been at the apartment since she came back from the hospital but it's just me and her because she made him leave."
"Suh y u neva call mi or y she neva call mi?"
"Can you talk to him? Mi tired fi hear mi mother a cry Amyra, she nuh deserve dis." Why are the good people always getting the nasty end of the stick? Life was so unfair to say the least and I hated that she was having to go through this.
"It's good that you're looking out for her and I'll talk to him so just continue being there for her and don't worry about it." She held her hands open for a hug and I scooted closer to hug her. "You're a good kid Z."
"I try."
"Yuh want mi drop yuh off?" She asked when we pulled away from each other.
"Oraine outside a wait fi mi."
"Okay, just let me know when you're home."
"See you later." I got up from the bed and gave her a smile before I left the room and went downstairs to grab my stuff. I said my goodbyes to my aunt and uncle before going outside to the car.
"Miss Addler." He greeted me as he opened the front passenger side door for me.
"Zahra is fine Oraine and thanks for waiting."
"It's no problem ma'a—."
"Zahra." I repeated while waiting for him to say it. He was just a year older than and the other guys were the only ones who called me Zahra. He was also Rudane's nephew and so far he seemed to take after his uncle because Rudane was the only one my dad really trusted. "Say Zahra."
"Zahra."
"See, that wasn't so hard." He helped me into the car and I buckled my seatbelt before he shut the door behind me. He started the car after he got in and shut the door. "Seatbelt."
"My bad."
"I would like for you to make it back home to your mom in one piece."
"My mom passed last year, a just me, uncle Dane an him fanilly now."
"My condolences." I looked over at him to see a sad smile playing on his lips and my heart went out to him.
"Thanks." He put the car in drive and pulled out of the yard before we fell into a comfortable silence.
Den watch how bwoy nice.
Huh?
I started looking around for the person that spoke but not seeing anyone because we were alone in the car.
Calm dung yuh body, a just me, yuh subconscious. Dwl.
Was this what people most people heard?
Pretty much but as I was saying, di bwoy body stay reallllllll good gyalie.
An dat affi guh stay between di two a wi cause my parents dem would a kill mi if dem find out seh mi like a bwoy.
No harm nuh inna u finding someone attractive, yah turn 18 next week enuh.
But still—.
But nothing.
You're right but I wouldn't act on this attraction out of respect to them because I hadn't done anything to make them proud yet.
Yes I did really well in school but that was the least I could do for having everything I wanted or needed at my disposal.
I could hold out because I had avoided peer pressure up to this point so I could go a few more years and I relaxed into the seat with that thought in my mind.
••••••••••••
Thoughts?