JENNIE
After years of dating, Lisa and Riva are tying the knot really soon. I am happy for them. Yes. And I am also happy with Jisoo.
But if there's one thing that bothers me lately, that's my son. I mean, he's going through something. Aki is now nine and he's slowly perceiving things right. He's too broken learning that Lisa is going to marry someone else. I think, he just realized everything. The truth. The truth that Lisa and I are already separated.
And I think, now is the right time to explain the situation to him.
"I'm hurt, Mom. I'm really hurt. I thought you two are just busy that's why she's living in another house. I thought Riva is just her friend." It pains me hearing my son telling me this. I also feel guilty that all this time, we never tried to slowly let him understand.
"Son, listen to me. I feel you. I know what you really feel and that's okay. Just feel it. But your Dada is happy. I am happy, too. But not being with each other does not mean that we don't share love. We love each other, just not the way we expect it to be. I love her as my friend for how many years now. Yes, we used to be married, but I am the reason why she had to leave me. No, she never left us. She has always been there for us. Right?" I am trying not to cry. I feel the pain through my angel's eyes.
Aki is bursting out in tears.
"Me, I am happy with someone else too. And I think you know who she is. It's obvious. I'm sorry for not talking to you about this. I am just finding the right time. I am sorry that we made you feel this way, son. I am sorry for ruining our family. I hope you'll forgive me. take your time. There are things that only adults can understand for now. Someday, I will tell you everything that happened. You can be mad at us, but please never doubt our love for you.
Sometimes, it has to be this way, Aki. It has to be like this so we can all move forward, continue breathing and be happy. And it's also okay to be sad, my love. It's okay to feel bad about this. But again, please don't you ever forget that we love you more than anything else."
We're interrupted by our helper. She came running and looked so nervous.
"Ma'am—. Ma'am, Ms. Riva's car crashed. I saw it on the news online." I was shocked.
My phone suddenly rang and saw Lisa's name. As expected.
I hurriedly took my key and rushed out of the house.
On my way, I was streaming on an online news about the car accident. It pinched my heart knowing what happened to Riva. She was a good person. She loved Lisa with all her heart.
And with Lisa, I am so worried about her. So, I drove as fast as I could. Upon knowing that Riva was driving one of Lisa's car designs, and the fact that this type of accident was also the reason why Lisa lost her parents, I think she really needs me now there at the hospital.
When I arrived, I found Lisa sitting on the corner in her gloomy teal shirt. I just let her cry before coming near.
And she cried more when I sat beside her, not too close. I waited for her to touch me first before comforting her.
And there, she shed her tears. Embraced me so tight. Her weeping was as loud as her heartbeat.
She told me that they tried to revive her but she was declared dead on arrival.
"Another car accident. Jen, change your car. I think I- I have to stop creating cars from now on." She sounds like losing her voice, overpowered by her grief. She's overthinking now.
"Lisa, it was an accident. It's the first ever reported crash with your car being used. But I- I am really sorry for what happened." I don't know what to say anymore. She never stopped leaning on my body for the comfort she needs right now.
From that day, until Riva's wake, I never left Lisa's side. Jisoo has been so understanding. Lisa stayed at our house for a while. It's her house. I always talk to her. I make sure she eats everyday. She's been gazing at nowhere lately and I just let her feel what she's having inside right now. But one thing is for sure, I'm always here for her.
Months passed and Lisa is still mourning. I would go with her to visit Riva's tomb every week. She couldn't drive properly and she needs me. I would even cancel some of my schedule at work just to be with her in every thing she does. There are still times that she cries at night and also more on zoning out when you talk to her. That is normal for someone who lost an important person in her life. And that's okay. It's okay to go through that.
One night, the silence in the house calms my body in its own way. I brought a cup of tea at the garden and just enjoyed my alone time. Lisa and Aki are now asleep. He wanted to be with Lisa since she started to live here again.
As I drink my tea slowly, my phone rang.
It's Jisoo telling me she's outside. She's been visiting me even if Lisa is here. They don't talk to each other anymore after what happened on the premiere night of my film.
Lisa doesn't say a word whenever Jisoo is here. She doesn't get mad even. She's just quiet. Maybe she understands too. Lisa has always been so understanding. We all know it. How she acted toward Jisoo at the premiere night, I guess, it's still valid because they are friends.
When Jisoo came in, we headed back to the garden. She gave me her tightest hug because we haven't seen each other for a while. She's been away for two weeks and I missed her so much. She told me that she's taking another promotion soon. It's the same with Lisa's last promotion she didn't accept because of me. For my safety when we were still married.
Jisoo told me a lot about the places she had been to. I am happy to see the joy in her eyes while she's talking about her job that she's passionate about.
Until we could no longer hold our chests. I hugged her.
And she kissed my lips.
And I was surprised seeing Lisa standing near us. I thought she's already asleep.
She walked slowly, approaching us as she looked down.
"Really? At my house, Jisoo?" We got nervous. I mean, there's nothing to be scared about. But.
Lisa spoke in a dry and serious manner with her deep and soft voice.
Jisoo came near her.
"I love her. I promise, I will take care of her. Please give me a chance." Jisoo begged.
Lisa smirked.
She lit up a cigarette.
Oh, God. When did she start smoking? Or maybe she really does and I just do not know.
I looked at her and she understood what my eyes meant.
"Okay. I just asked a stick from the delivery guy earlier. I just thought of releasing some bad memory through this. But yeah, this won't help. I'm sorry." She put it down. Lisa moved closer to Jisoo's face.
I am starting to get worried now. I don't want them to fight. But I trust Jisoo on this. I trust Lisa that she won't start a physical fight, too.
"Do you still remember what you told me when I was- was going through something? Remember that time when my marriage was failing and she doesn't love me anymore?" Her voice is shaking but something grips her throat.
And a tear fell from her eye.
"You know how in love I was with Jennie. You still know how I wanted to fix our marriage before.
But have you forgotten what you told me?" Lisa spoke with a little anger now. Sarcastic.
My heart is aching. Trembling.
"As far as I can remember, you said that I have to remove the blindfold from my eyes because I was so in love with Jennie. You meant I have to look at the reality that she had been so toxic and that she didn't treat me right.
Right?
Speak up!
Or maybe your whole fucking point and intention was to have your way between us and break the code.
You are betraying me.
She used to be my wife.
And you know what hurts the most, Jisoo?
You're my best friend."
Lisa left us with another tear before she took a step back inside the house.
I feel so guilty.
I am having thoughts of stopping what's between Jisoo and I now.
I understand where Lisa is coming from.