Dear Harry,
DO NOT EAT ANY MORE GRAPEFRUIT. Remus says that you're likely allergic to it if you're getting funny feelings in your mouth and seeing as Remus Lupin is the smartest man alive, I reckon you ought to listen to him and STOP EATING GRAPEFRUIT. He says to avoid oranges, lemons, and limes as well until you're able to see Madam Pomfrey about it in the hospital wing at Hogwarts - sooner if you can do it with the Dunderheads watching over you. He says there's a potion that will remedy the symptoms but we haven't the ingredients to mix you a bottle here, so you'll need to get some from Pomfrey.
If that giraffe necked woman you call Auntie tries feeding you another grapefruit, you tell her that your godfather will turn this hippogriff toward Surrey so fast her bloody pearls will spin 'round backwards.
As for the story and how it reminds me of your dad, honestly Harry most things remind me of James. There is not a single day which passes by that I don't wish I could floo him up and tell him a hundred things.
I miss your father incredibly much.
I did hear about Remus resigning. He told me himself. We're both keeping low of the Ministry, but if you need either of us you needn't hesitate to send an owl and we'll be there. I'm so very sorry that we haven't been in the past, Harry. I know I for one intend to make it up to you in any and every way I possibly can.
Please, be careful out there, Harry. It's a weird world and I love you too much to see you be hurt anymore by it.
Sirius
P.S., I'll send something better when I am able, but for now here is some rugbraud and súkkulaðibollur. (Don't ask me how to pronounce it. I'm copying directly off the bakery sign. Even Remus can't say it and he is the smartest man alive, as previously mentioned.)
Dear Sirius,
No more grapefruit. Got it. Aunt Petunia will be terribly excited when I stop eating - she'll think I'm starving myself to death and I am sure that all of the Dursleys will be quite disappointed when I manage to make it through the summer.
Speaking of, thank you very much for this unpronouncable stuff, it's very good and a great replacement for the grapefruits. My friend Ron also sent me some corned beef sandwiches and Hernione sent me some sugar free treats as well, so my secret hiding place under the floor board has become a bit of a pantry.
Have you met my Aunt Petunia before? She really does have an unusually long neck. I felt bad for laughing when you said that thing about the giraffe, at least until she was nasty to me this afternoon.
What is the house you own like? Is it very big? Where is it? I know it will be a time before we can go and live there, but I think about it a lot.
Thanks again, Sirius. Say hullo to Buckbeak and Professor Lupin for me.
Harry
Dear Harry,
The house is in Haworth in York. It's a lovely cottage. It's actually not mine specifically, it belongs to Remus. It was where he grew up. There are loads of beautiful fields and mountains all around, and a great big tree in the yard and a swing on the porch. It's yellow.
Remus says hullo back. Buckbeak would likely say hullo as well, but he's a hippogriff and is linguistically impaired
I have met your Aunt before. I actually remember hearing the story about how your Auntie Petunia got that long neck of hers. Your father was on a date with your mother and she was being a real pisspot as usual and your father may have cast a very well earned engorgio that never quite righted itself.
Dear Sirius,
That goose you sent your last letter with was a right nasty thing, I hope you're not surrounded by those because it was quite rude. Aunt Petunia had a fit - it delivered your letter right onto our back porch while she was out there watering the begonias. Suddenly she was shrieking like a mad woman and she had the door blocked off with a broomstick and was about to call animal control when I got downstairs to accept the letter. I only just got the letter away from the goose and it wasn't very amused by the knut I offered it as payment. I ried giving him a biscuit but he didn't much want that either. I don't know what the crazzy thing wanted. But I do appreciate the letter regardless of the crazy goose!
I also really, really liked those maple sugar leaves you sent! They were so good and I have to admit I did eat them all at once and got a bit of a belly ache but it was worth it. I'd offer to send you some things if you needed them but I honestly don't have anyway to get them to send to you. I'm not allowed to go outside much.
There is hope for me yet though. My friend Ron wrote me and said there may be a chance of us going to the Quidditch World Cup! His Dad's got tickets and I'm quite excited that I get to be included! I never dreamed of anything so cool as going to the World Cup!
I just have to get Uncle Vernon to approve somehow. Perhaps I'll say you were fancying stopping by for a visit that week and then he'd be keen to get me out of the house! Would that be alright?
Were you and Dad into Quidditch much in school? I know my Dad had a trophy. Did you play? What about Professor Lupin? Do you have a favorite team? I can send you scores and game updates. I get the Daily Prophet.
My friend Ron's into the Cannons and this bloke called Oliver Kent who plays Seeker. He says he's the most brilliant Seeker that ever played the sport.
I hope you're having a jolly time.
Harry
Dear Harry,
REMUS says hello again and although REMUS was never much into quidditch, REMUS always did very well at being sure to come to every game James and I played. Your mum played, too, for a bit. They were both excellent chasers, though Lily gave it up when they got a bit older. James was a Captain and a very good one at that. You should've seen him play! Positively excellent.
Definitely tell Petunia's walrus that I have plans to visit. Whatever it takes to get you to the stands for that match! I cannot possibly stomach the thought of you having that opportunity and missing it on account of a great prune like VERNON DURSLEY.
Sorry about the demented bird. Hopefully this one's a bit kinder.
Sirius
Dear Harry,
Hope that you are doing well. Have you practiced at making your Patronus since we last met? I would love to hear of your progress.
Sirius says you may be attending the World Cup! That sounds marvelous. You must be very excited and I am quite happy for you. May your team win the match!
Yours,
Remus Lupin
"You're literally asking him about homework, what do you think is going to happen? He'll magically forget you were his professor?" Sirius looked up from the parchment to meet Remus's eye.
"I don't know what else to say!"