"I've once dated a girl and got to know her real well, several dates in mind, and there we are in Hogsmeade, walking about, and she suddenly turns to me and calls me John. The girl had been datin' me for a couple weeks and didn't even know my name. T'was about then that I realized she hadn't listened to a thing I was sayin' to her but I was something to have on her arm by way of making another bloke she was really after jealous and I was the only one blind enough not to see it." Sean laughed.
"Oh that's ripe, I hope you obliterated her," Marlene said. "Was it Carly Shaw? That sounds like something Carly Shaw would've done."
"Nar, she was in Slytherin. Not one of the Death-Eatery types, though, like most of'em were. She was normal. Well for the most part, besides usin' a poor Puff like me to make her boyfriend jealous..." Sean shook his head. "And I stayed on datin' her because I was too bloody shy to break it off. I just answered to John 'til she got her real boyfriend and off she went without ever telling me it was off." He paused. "Heard they ended up married, though, so guess if I ever see'em 'round I can be like - oi hey there, I'm what brought them two together, ain't I?"
Marlene laughed, "I suppose that's one way to be optimistic about it."
"Always try to find a bit of optimism in any sitch, that's what I always say."
"Spoken like a true Hufflepuff," Marlene answered.
Sean grinned. "Nothin' wrong with it, isn't there?"
"No. A Slytherin would find a way to break them up. A Gryffindor would slit her throat in her sleep. And a Ravenclaw.. well. We would just make sure we did better and prove they made the wrong choice, even if it was only on the surface." She smirked. "Like screw you for making the wrong choice, I'll go down in flames but I'll look happy about it just to spite you."
"Seems exhaustin'," Sean rumbled, and he threw another chip into his mouth.
"It really is," Marlene said.
"That what you doin' right about now?" Sean asked.
Marlene blinked in surprise. "Come again?"
"That girl upstairs," Sean said, "The wee one with the Twiggy hair."
Marlene's face flushed. "Emmaline Vance?"
Sean nodded. "Somethin' there 'twix the two of you?"
Marlene reached over and took one of his chips. "No."
"Come now... sure - I'm a fair bit dumb but I ain't blind."
Marlene ate the chip.
"You know, I honestly thought she was Marlene, not you, when I walked up."
"No. Really?"
"Aye. I guess maybe I hoped. You're so bleedin' far out of my league, I thought it was impossible your sister would try an' pair us off." He laughed, "I'm guessing Annalee's having a right laugh at our expense somewhere at the mo'. Or at least at my expense."
"Don't worry, I'll hex her nose off when I get home," Marlene promised.
"Oh don't do that, that'd be a right shame."
Marlene raised an eyebrow.
Sean's turn to flush had come and he busied himself in straightening out the chips on his plate.
"I see what's happened."
"What's that?" he asked.
"You like Annalee."
Sean's eyes stayed very, very well trained on his chips.
"You like Annalee and trying to get you off her, she's handed you over to me, knowing I'm a right bitch and I'd scare you off. Oh the brilliance of my sister. She really should've been a Slytherin, she's a conniving --"
Sean looked up. "Oh please don't. Please don't. She really can be sweet. I -"
"Sean, she's thrown you to the wolves to be chewed alive. That's me. I'm wolves." Marlene pointed at her chest.
"I don't think you're near as much a bitch as you're making it sound like you think you are," Sean said, "That's first off. And secondly, why would she do that to you?"
"Because Annalee's just as much a bitch as I am, she's just quiet about it while I'm rather loud."
Sean laughed. "I don't know. I agree it's probably to get me off her, but I reckon maybe it was less for you to tear me apart and more because you're more confident than she is, perhaps, and she hasn't got your brass."
"My brass?" Marlene laughed.
"You know, like in a jazz band." Sean said. Marlene raised her eyebrow. "Loud and full of energy."
"You're funny."
"Thanks." He wasn't sure how she meant it, but took it like a compliment.
"Yes, by the way."
"Yes?" he asked, confused. He watched as she took another chip from his plate.
"I lied before. There was something between Emmaline and I once but it's over now and I'm afraid there's nothing could fix it. So no, I'm not here because of her. I didn't know she was here, and for the record, I did not stay just because of her."
"Stay?"
"I was going to leave when your chips came."
"But then they smelled so good you had to stay and steal them."
"Exactly. It had nothing to do with you turning out to be pretty cool."
"Cool? Me? What am I in an arctic region without a sweater in the dead of winter?"
Marlene guffawed. "Must be it. Just you in your skivvies and the snow."
"Well thanks at least for lettin' me hang on to my skivvies!"
"I don't want to see that shit, even in my mind," Marlene laughed.
"Nobody does," Sean shook his head solemnly. Then, "So what happened?"
"Remember what you said? About tipsy girls not wanting commitment?"
"Aye," he nodded.
Marlene held up her cocktail and swirled it, her eyes looking into his meaningfully and downed what was left of it. Lowering the glass, she said, "Em's more like your chips."
Sean said, "Oh I see. Well, I s'pose I understand. After all, even as I eat this chip here -" he held one up, "I'm already thinkin' of my next 'un." He popped the chip in his mouth. "That it, is it? You already thinkin' of your next 'un?"
"No," Marlene replied. "I - I wasn't thinking of a next one, I --" she paused. A funny feeling came over her.
"Then what?" Sean asked. "Just thinking of - of freedom? Of unattachment?"
"No," Marlene said.
"So - what were you thinking then?" Sean asked.
Marlene paused. "I - I'm not sure actually." She hadn't been thinking of breaking it off with Emma, she hadn't been thinking of any other girls or of freedom or of anything except simply day-to-day, domestic type stuff. Until Emma brought up something more, it had never crossed Marlene's mind either way. But even as they'd stood in the very center of that horrible, terrible argument, even then Marlene hadn't believed in a world without Emma. After all, she'd been fighting to stay together, just... unlabeled. It wasn't the commitment to Emma that had scared the bravery out of Marlene. She looked at Sean with wide eyes. "Bloody hell," she whispered, "I really am a coward."
"A coward?" Sean asked. "I don't see how that could be possible, having known you more than thirty seconds." He smirked. "You seem a real pistol."
"Emma accused me of being a coward for being on a date with a man because - because she reckons the whole reason we broke up was that I didn't want to commit to her because I didn't want to tell my family... about... her."
"Wouldn't approve of her?" Sean asked.
"Wouldn't approve of --" Marlene smiled sadly, "Of me."
"Annalee sure thinks the world of you," Sean said, shrugging.
Marlene laughed.
"No she does. She talks about you quite a lot, which was why I agreed to go out with ya. I was sort of hoping you might be like her and perhaps my crush on her was fate lining the two of us up - but I see now I'm just hopeless."
"Why would a nice boy like you want to be with my demon sister anyway?" Marlene asked.
Sean shook his head, dividing up the fries into two piles and pushing the plate closer to her so she wasn't stealing but they were actively sharing. "She ain't as bad as all that."
"You haven't properly met her then."
Sean laughed. "I see about a hundred witches and wizards everyday, what come into my office and drop their paperwork in my inbox, grumble I'm takin' longer'n they want to be standin' round, make comments 'bout my job being something a muggle machine can do in seconds, and leave without s'much as a thanks be. Your sister, she's always got a smile on. And she waits patiently, asks me how my day's been. Keeps up, too. Remembered my birthday, even. She brought me a chocolate chip cookie with extra chocolate chips." He looked up at Marlene. "When you do the bare minimum for a piece of shite worker that gets the piss taken out of him all day long, you can't surely be a demon."
Marlene said, "Annalee did all that?"
Sean nodded.
"Hm," Marlene murmured, shamelessly eating the chips now. She pointed at the plate. "These are really good."
"I told you."
Marlene smiled.
When Sean and Marlene had polished off the plate of chips, he walked her back up the spiral staircase. His hand was on her back. "I promise I ain't tryin' at making a move, it's just you're giving me a right heart attack with those shoes of yours on these stairs, bleedin' hell," he said.
Marlene giggled, "You have no faith. I could run a marathon in these."
"I could break my ankles and my knees and my face in those," Sean said, "That's about all I could do in'em."
"Well, luckily for you, men aren't expected to be drop dead gorgeous twenty-four-seven, so you don't have to wear things like these to be acceptable in a society that prioritizes feminine sexuality over comfort."
"And there's your feminist moment," Sean said, clapping his hand.
"Knew I could work it in somewhere," Marlene laughed, grinning. She glanced around the upstairs of the pub as they walked through, but the booth where Emmaline Vance had been was occupied by a new group and she didn't see Em anywhere in the crowd. She sighed.
"You've done an excellent job of it," Sean agreed. He paused. "Am I allowed to hold open the door for you, or is that too chauvinist?"
"I'll let it pass," Marlene said, and he held it open, and she smiled and faux-curtsied, then slipped through.
Sean said, "If we were to have a next time, I'd welcome you coming in joggers and trainers."
"I will remember that."
"Brilliant."
"But you've got to wear the heels," Marlene said.
"Good thing we aren't having a second date then, huh?" Sean said.
They were out on the pavement out front of the pub.
Marlene said, "Yeah, it's a good thing." She paused. "But maybe we could have a chips party sometime."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Send me an owl next time you're craving and we can split an order."
"Or you can get your own bloody chips next time instead of eating half mine."
"You had two orders," Marlene said, "Besides, you said yourself you eat too many of them. I was just helping you cut back."
"Thoughtful of you," Sean said, laughing.
Marlene grinned, "I'm great like that. See you 'round Sean."
He watched her walk away and she'd got about ten feet before he called out, "Ay -- Marlene?"
"Yeah?" she turned 'round.
His face was flush. "Do me a favor? Tell Annalee she missed a good 'un?"
Marlene smiled. "I'll tell her."
"Thanks." Sean stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned 'round, disappearing the other direction down the road as Marlene continued on turning heads as she went.
Marlene went straight to the living room, where Annalee was perched on a chair, reading, her purple-framed glasses low on her nose, wearing a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt she'd stolen from their eldest brother, Finley. Archie was asleep on the couch.
"You -" Marlene hissed pointing at Annalee as she stepped into the room. "You ought to be ashamed of yourself."
Annalee looked up. "Ashamed of myself?"
"What did you send that poor boy on a date with me for? He didn't deserve that." Marlene put her hands on her hips.
"I'm sorry, setting a boy up with my drop dead gorgeous sister is mean?" Annalee asked.
"It is when you know he's not the kind of boy that deserves to be set up for failure," Marlene said. "He was sooo, sooo not the messing-around-one-night-stand sort of bloke and you knew that. One look at him and it was impossible not to know that."
Annalee shrugged.
"He likes you and you wanted me to let him off for you," Marlene accused. She shook her head, "I am not your - your brass!"
"My what?"
"Nevermind. But next time tell off your own boys."
Annalee sat up. "You told him off?"
"No. He's a nice jolly bloke and you're an idiot for trying to tell him off."
"Yeah?" Annalee looked interested. "You really think so?"
"Um yes," Marlene answered. "You've talked to him for longer than two seconds - you know he's a good bloke." She rolled her eyes. "Not that you asked but I think you're an idiot."
"Why?"
"Trying to scare him off. Vetting him like this. Making me go through a ridiculous evening eating chips with a bloke you knew wasn't my type in any world... And Emma was there. You know how horrible that was? Seeing her? I felt like my heart was being torn out and sawed up into cubes and for what? So you could see if a bloke you already knew was a good guy was, in fact, good? Ugh, I swear you never think of anyone but yourself. Why don't you just go out on your own awkward first dates?"
Annalee replied, "First off - I got invited to go out with Carly and the girls. You're acting like I didn't know Emma would be there. He asked me to go with him there and I knew if I sent you that you'd run into Em. You're not going to resolve anything with her if you don't run into her now and then and TALK TO HER. You know how many owls I've taken from her and you NEVER REPLY. You're ridiculous, pining about after her but never actually TRYING to get back with her! So I thought if I sent you off to the pub and you ran into her maybe at least one of you would have some common sense and try at working things out. Having you tell off Sean Buckner for me was just a side mission I figured you'd waste about two bats of an eyelash on doing."
Marlene stared at Annalee. "You are such a minx." She shook her head. "Well, Annalee, it didn't work."
"Didn't it?" Annalee asked. She got up and turned off the light next to her chair. She pushed 'round Marlene and said, "I got a nasty owl from Emma asking why I sent you to that pub when I knew she was going to be there. Interesting that both of you think I was being sooo stupid. How could I possibly have been sooo thoughtless sending you both to the same pub. Blah-blah-blah. Maybe the lot of you should compare notes on it." Her eyes sparkled and she pushed by Marlene, who stared at her, stunned. As she started up the stairs, Annalee paused and turned back 'round. "So you really think Sean's a nice bloke?"
"Yeah. If you cut him loose you'll regret it," Marlene replied. "He made me wish I was you, and bloody hell I haven't done that since we were four and five and you had that Princess birthday party that I was raving jealous over."
Annalee laughed. "You always loved Princesses."
Marlene nodded.
Annalee started up the stairs again and called flippantly over her shoulder, "Maybe you should stop being stupid and just go get yours back already."