5 YEARS AGO
JENNIE
I am Jennie Kim, a global idol under an American label called Dreams Entertainment. Our group consists of five members. I really wanted this. I had to experience a lot of begging just for my parents to allow me to pursue this career. I love to sing and dance. I want to act someday, too. The training period wasn't that easy but I endured everything until I reached this point of my life.
My group is famous globally. People know us. A year after our debut, we had to tour all over the world because of the demand. It was tiring but I am happy with what I do.
But if there's one thing I don't like about this, that would be how the company would treat other idols. I was untouchable. I have my principles with me.
I know what's going on. There are teens who are being groomed. There are girls who are offered this fame in exchanged of something they do not like to happen. But it happens to some.
Not to me.
My management knows that I am willing to stop if something bothers me anytime. They did not attempt to do something nasty with my career. Well, thanks also to my manager. They did not let me experience the dirty drill in the industry. But that doesn't mean I don't care about other girls anymore. When someone tells me their experience, I immediately raise the concern to the management and they are forced to stop their deeds.
I am Jennie. I am their money-maker. So, whatever I say and want, as long as it doesn't fight against the contract rules, they listen to me.
The contract.
Yeah. I may be having the best life and career, but there are also things that I cannot do. I can't date whoever I want. But that's okay. I am not yet into falling in love.
I can't be drunk in public places. Smoking is a big no. Drugs, of course, not.
I always follow the rules stated in our contract.
I also have one rule of my own. I don't want to be involved in any media play or planned scandal. I hate dramas in life. All I want to do is to perform, greet my fans and earn big.
Suitors are all over. From big businessmen, high class womanizers, prominent artists to strangers who are sending me stuff or offer a big amount just to date me. But I always say no. No. I have no time for romantic stuff in my life. Not my cup of tea really.
Until one day, even how much you love your job, you'll realize that you have already gone full circle.
I want to stop being in a girl group. My creative juices are spilling on the ground and nothing great is growing out of it.
I rebelled against the world— the industry where I am in.
I have been an idol since I was 18 and I think I am getting sick of it. I don't know where is this sudden change coming from. All I know is, I want to be free. I want to travel the world without people knowing me or running after me just to have pictures with them or sign an album. I can't even go to the mall without pretending to be someone else through my outfit.
If there's one thing also that chokes me, that's the fact that my American mother is the Mayor of New York City. My Korean father is a small businessman. I can't ruin their names. So, I always do my best to protect our reputation.
And that's killing me inside.
They are strict, but I am also stubborn. We do not meet half way. What Jennie wants, Jennie gets. But I know that my decisions hurt my parents sometimes and I also feel sorry for that.
And because of all this shit going on inside my head that I can no longer hold on to, I decided not to sign the contract for another year as part of the girl group.
They have been calling me after I took an exit from the building. They are asking for another year. Everyone is not ready for the disbandment yet.
All I want is my freedom and creative choices.
I freed myself from all that happened today.
I soaked myself in alcohol. I don't care if people see me. All I know is I want to be drunk tonight and enjoy every single minute. So, I did it inside this club. Noisy club with unbearable smell of cigarettes and sound. I am aware that people are taking photos of me already. They are even recording me and I don't care at all.
I just don't let anyone touch me. Never.
I went out of the club because I really feel so dizzy and drunk. I reached the corner and stayed there for a while. I have been looking for my key inside my bag but I couldn't find it. I am already crying for I don't know why the fuck I am crying. And throwing up on the side.
I suddenly noticed a paparazzi taking snaps of me with his shitty flash that hurts my eyes and annoying voice. Then there's another one. I told them to stop but they are still doing their thing. I hate it.
Then I saw someone hitting their cameras until it reached the ground. This person pulled me out of the scene.
I don't know how we reached my car because we never said a word to each other.
"Let's go home, Jen."
And that's the last memory I can ever remember when I woke up this morning.
I don't know who she is. My parents are not home. And why am I here at their house when I'm supposed to be at my condo?
I want to thank that person who saved me last night. When I think of her face right now, I can't clearly remember each detail. But I know that if ever I get to see her again, I'll be able to recognize.
My thoughts got interrupted when my manager Rosé is calling. I don't want to answer it but I know I have to face this.
J: Hello.
R: Oh! Good lord! Finally, you're awake! I have been calling you several times. Where are you?
J: At my parents' house. Why?
R: Your face puking outside Farr's Club is all over the internet. Good thing only three photos were taken. Are you okay? You want to talk about it?
J: Just a bit of headache.
R: Let me see you. Aside from that scene, videos of you getting drunk inside the club are also being streamed online. Jennie, I think we have to see each other.
J: I expected it to happen. I am not yet ready to see anyone right now.
R: Jennie, I am here as a friend now and not as your manager. Tell me where to meet you.
J: Ok. Let's meet at my unit. I also have something to tell you.
After two hours, Jennie and Rosé met. They both shared some cold cuts, wine and cheese at Jennie's balcony.
"Someone helped me last night. But I was not able to get her name. To be honest, she looks familiar to me but I really can't recall all the details of her face." Jennie told her manager.
"I also heard someone punched the cameras last night. But no one took a photo of that person. Don't you really remember anything? How did that person bring you home?" Rosé asked.
"I don't know. I have to ask my parents. We haven't talked yet. They were not around at their house this morning when I woke up, probably headed to work so early." Jennie said.
"Jen, will you accept the interview invitation I sent to your email this morning?" Rosé is trying to convince her.
"Do I still have to? All I know is I didn't sign the contract anymore. I'm done." Jennie is really done.
"I know. But this is just to put closure on your career as a girl group band member. I think, I have to tell you now what's in line for you." Rosé said after drinking her wine.
"Ok. What is it?" Jennie asked.
"Answer all the questions tomorrow based on what you feel. Your call. I am not teaching or guiding you how to respond to the interview. Then after that, I'll lay all your acting projects. Up to you to accept it or not." Rosé surprised Jennie.
"Oh my god! Is this for real? Rosé, you are such an angel! You are not just my manager but you have always been a friend to me! I love you!" Jennie is so excited.
"I love you, too! And all I want is for you to be happy. Don't worry about the interview. The director of the show assigned tomorrow is my boyfriend and I already told him that I have to screen all the questions first." Rosé assured her talent.
"Thank you, Rosé!" Jennie is so blessed to have her friend.
"You're welcome. And one more thing. If ever I'll make a concept of you being a solo singer, will you do it? I assure you, this won't be too tight. Just few restrictions and the rest is your call. What do you think?" Another surprise for Rosé.
"What have I done in the past to deserve this? I am so happy!" Jennie is the happiest.
It turned out to be a good day for Jennie. Her emotions led her to posting an announcement on Twitter and Facebook.
To that person who helped me and brought me home safely last night, will you please hit me up? I really want to thank you personally.