"Congratulations Ripley! You made varsity!" Chrissy and a few of the other girls on the team yell and I beam from ear to ear. They had us line up to see if we made it and mine was the last name to be called, my anxiety building over time.
The days leading up to tryouts I was really putting in the work to prepare, going on morning runs and practicing the routines they wanted us to demonstrate and I'm glad my hard work paid off. The squad swarms around me giggling excitedly and Chrissy has me hold out my arms, getting right into taking measurements for my uniform. She writes everything down and takes the information to Coach Carrie so she can order my outfit before the next football game. They give me the practice and game schedules and we chat for a few more minutes before it's time to leave.
I grab my duffel bag from the locker room and decide not to get changed. I'm going straight home and most of the student body is gone anyway. Besides I'm comfortable in my spandex shorts and Twisted Sister crop top, my sports bra and belly button piercing on full display underneath. I fix my bun in the mirror at least since there are quite a few loose stands. I leave the locker room with a dopey smile on my face. I swing my keys between my fingertips as I practically skip towards the parking lot. About halfway there I hear two boys talking in hurried tones around the corner and my happy pace falters. I tilt my head to the side as I try to listen more closely, but I can't make out what they are saying. I shrug and I'm about the pass by when one of their hand springs out and grabs my arm making me scream. Reflexively I ball up my fist and lash out, my knuckles connecting with one of the boy's noses with a crack and he hollers, dropping his grip.
"Jesus Christ," he yells and I back away. I look at his companion who looks beyond amused. He bites down slightly on his lip to keep from laughing.
"Eddie complains about you changing, but I don't see how," he chuckles and I furrow my eyebrows, confused. "That was just like old times."
Realization hits me and I gasp, my hand coming up to my chest.
"Gareth?" I ask and he nods enthusiastically, opening his arms for a hug and I step forward to embrace him. The other boy looks between us, annoyed. His face is red and puffy but at least he isn't bleeding. I sigh with relief as I pull away from Gareth and look at him.
"I'm sorry I hit you," I say earnestly and hold my hand out. "I'm Ripley."
The boy looks down at my hand and then up at Gareth who nods at him encouragingly. The boy's springy brown curls dance around his head as he moves. He gently takes my hand as though he's afraid I might break him and gives it a timid shake before dropping his palm back to his side.
"Dustin Henderson," he says and I smile brightly at him, making him gulp. From the looks of it, Dustin is probably a freshman or a sophomore at most but he's still taller then me. I've come to terms with my height, using it to my advantage. But it tends to throw people off when I hold my own. Dustin is obviously no stranger to that concept as he watches me with confusion and caution in his eyes.
"It's actually perfect we ran into you," Gareth says and I raise my eyebrows, intrigued. "We are having a Hellfire Club meeting tonight but one of our members bailed and we have been searching the school for a sub."
He holds his hands toward me and I look between them, not understanding what they are implying.
"What's Hellfire Club? And why would the loss of one member matter? Just have the meeting without them and be one short." I say and Dustin sighs, he looks at Gareth exasperated and Gareth holds out his hand as though to ask him for patience.
"Hellfire is our D&D club. We can't have the meeting with a missing member because we would be one player short for the campaign."
"Well why didn't you say that?" I huff and Dustin rolls his eyes. I shift the weight of my duffel on my shoulder and look between them.
"So you just want me to come and sub for the night?" I clarify and they nod. "And Eddie knows about this?"
They freeze and share a weighted look and I shake my head moving away. Over the last few days Eddie has been completely ignoring me and vice versa. Ever since our disagreement on the track we haven't even tried to talk things out or reconcile our friendship. It's clear to me that Eddie is alright without me in his life and I'm trying to find a way to feel the same. I definitely don't want to crash his campaign and make him hate me even more then he already apparently does.
"Eddie doesn't know that we are asking you specifically," Dustin calls behind me as I continue to walk down the hall. "But he said to find a sub; any sub and Gareth said you are great. Eddie has been working on this campaign for a long time. He's really excited about it and he was really bummed at the idea of having to postpone. So please, could you at least give it a try?"
I pause still facing away from them. I've made it to the glass doors that lead out to the parking lot and take a deep breath, wavering. I know how much Eddie puts into his campaigns and I know how excited he gets. I can only imagine the spectacle he's planned for his club if he's been brewing on this idea for a while. I shake myself and turn, both boys looking at me with bated breath.
"Alright, but I'm not putting up with any bullshit. If Eddie treats me like trash I'm out of there," I warn and they nod dramatically, each of them grabbing my arms and ushering me back down the hall.
Gareth pats my hand assuringly as we enter the classroom Hellfire uses to meet. The room is loud as boys bustle about, laughing with one another. They are moving tables and chairs and getting things set up for the campaign, the excitement tangible in the air. Eddie stands smiling in the middle of the room, his curly hair pulled back in a low ponytail as they push some tables together. He's laughing along to something a boy with a bowl-cut hairdo says before his gaze lifts and meets mine.
His happy demeanor shatters and I feel Gareth and Dustin shrink into me slightly. I glance between them wondering why they are practically hiding behind me when it should be the other way around. The room seems to seep with Eddie's displeasure and the rest of the members fall into silence staring at Gareth, Dustin, and I.
"I knew this was a bad idea," I breathe and Gareth tightens his grip on my arm, making it impossible for me to turn around. I feel as though I've been taken prisoner with Gareth holding me here on my left and Dustin holding my right. Eddie glares down at me as though I've committed the worst crime imaginable.
"Why is she here?" He demands looking at Gareth and I grunt, annoyed. His brown eyes flicker towards mine for a moment before he chooses to ignore me, making my annoyance grow.
"Well, the thing-" Gareth begins but I interrupt him.
"She is here to save your ass from having to cancel this campaign."
Eddie laughs sarcastically and moves closer until he is towering over me, making me tilt my head back to look up at him.
"And what makes you think I want your help?" He asks, his voice dripping with malice.
"Trust me, I know you don't want my help but it sure as hell seems like you need it," I say bitterly and he shakes his head rapidly and moves to face Gareth, pointing a finger in his face and gritting his teeth. He's so close to losing his temper it's almost comical. I didn't know he could still get so wound up.
"Go find another sub. Anyone else, but her," he points aggressively in my direction and I pretend to cry, rubbing under my eyes with my fists and jutting out my bottom lip in a pout. He looks away, a blood vessel in his throat throbbing as he tries to remain calm.
"We tried to find another sub," Dustin complains and Eddie turns his glare on him. Dustin doesn't even flinch as he meets his gaze and holds it, shrugging as if what Eddie said was a dumb suggestion. I look at Dustin with newfound respect and a small grin spreads across my lips. "We asked everyone in the school who would listen. I even called Steve to see if he could come and everyone turned us down. Everyone except Ripley."
Eddie glances down at me and I raise my eyebrows at him, challenging.
"And why did you agree?" He asks and I glance up at him confused. "What did you get them to promise in exchange for coming? What sort of blackmail did you bribe out of them?"
My face falls and utter disbelief slams through my body. I can understand that Eddie has a difficult time adjusting to the girly clothes and the new hobbies, but to accuse me of being some shifty character? It's like he's refusing to believe there's any similarities left in me at all.
"Eddie, she didn't-" Gareth urges but I shake my head and he looks down at me. I pull at the arms he and Dustin are still holding and they finally let me go. I readjust the strap of my duffel bag and I look up at Eddie, letting all the anger and hurt I feel show on my face. He takes a step back, caught off guard and I reach up and adjust my hair to try to cool my nerves.
"It's like you never knew me at all," I say, my voice like ice. "Is that what you want Eddie? To paint a cruel picture of me so you can pretend that we weren't special to one another at one point. You were the most important person in my life for so long and when I moved I felt like I left a huge chunk of myself here in Hawkins. Maybe I left the girl you remember. If I could go back in time and changes things I would but I can't. I'm sorry to disappoint you. Have a nice life, Munson."
I turn before he can say anything and I walk out of the room, silence following me as I go. My heart continues to ache as I finally make it to the parking lot and get in my car but I remain strong. I put the car in reverse and I head home, turning the radio down to a whisper in the background.
Once I get home I strip down and shower, taking extra care to massage the tension out of my scalp and shoulders. I get out and put on some lotion and cozy pajamas, really searching for all the comfort I can find. I brush out my hair and braid it down my back before heading downstairs and plopping down on the couch. I turn on the television and flick through the channels before landing on Scooby-Doo. They are playing some rerun episodes and as I watch I realize the last time I watched this particular episode I was at Eddie's, both of us sitting on his floor eating popcorn and laughing together. I smile as the mystery incorporated gang try to solve the clues but despite my best efforts tears drip from the corners of my eyes and fall onto my shirt and arms. For the first time in a long time, I cry over Eddie Munson and I don't stop until my eyes grow too heavy to keep open and the world fades to black.