30th March, 2014.
School began before the boredom began to eat on Noor alive, there's nothing much to do. Ikhlas wedding was the only get away she got from the break. Now she do really miss Asad more than she could tell, with him around, she never lacks leisure. There's always something in his mind, he's so much fun. Nadia is fun too, but the girl got her own share of trouble. Noorur-rahman had warned her friend to take it easy else she'll fell into depression at the rate her mind is working.
That Sunday afternoon though, Noor misses her old friends, therefore she managed to arrange a conference video call between them. She tried her best to get hold of Asad, but to no avail. Initially, she'd wanted to only talk to him, but results to the other option too. Hidaya too was out of the country with her family buying house furniture for her upcoming wedding.
Noor was sitting lazily on her bed with her tablet clutched between her two palm as she listen to her two girl friends nostalgic moment. "I can't believe you're getting married, Hidaya. God, I might even missed it, Daya! How would I live with myself?" Sadiya whined on the device screen making Hidaya from the other end laugh.
"Her wedding is December, you might make it." Noor pointed, now that she thinks of others other than herself, she feels bad for the two friends. After all Hidaya and Sadiya are more close to each other, especially since they have been classmate for six years.
"I don't think so, Noor. I may not come home this year. My family decided to come for Umrah at that time. So it's hardly." She added sadly.
"Come on Sadi, you're going to make me sad with that face, but it's okay, I still have Noor. She's will be my maid of honor. And she will send pictures and videos. By the way, Noor has became a lot nicer, these days I hardly believe it, when she calls or arrange a meeting." Hidaya said that part so fondly smiling at her camera. There's a time she thought their friendship with Noor wasn't mutual, because Noorur-rahman care less about everyone. But the ever sensible Sadiya assured her that they are not going to give up on Noor, ever and they loved her just the way she's.
"I'm glad you're in a better place, Noor." Sadiya smiled, she's glad. It reminds her of the day she made Noor her friend. It's back then when they stayed at the school hostel, they shared a room on their second. During their first year though, Sadiya knew Noor as the rudest and most grumpy person in the hostel. The girl that passed by everyone without any expression on her face. And whenever she talks it's to break your heart. No doubt about it, even Sadiya did not like her then, she hated her guts.
Though, on their second junior year when Sadiya found out they're going to be roommate, she's scared to her bone. However, it had been a glad tiding. But before then Sadiya had tried getting information on how to be Noor's roommate. Yet, nothing came out of it, Noor's previous room was too scared to share her experience with Sadiya who thought she's entering a deadly zone. Of course she wanted to change room, so their house mistress asked her to exchange with someone. But no one wanted to do that exchange and since all the rooms had already been allocated, Sadiya had no other choice than to brace herself.
And one night over the cause of being Noor's roommate, Sadiya witness Noor in one of her lowest moment, awoken by a nightmare that put her crying bitterly, she's also shaking with fear and at that moment and without thinking too about it Sadiya had abruptly hugged the scared crying girl. "I'm so afraid to close my eyes, it still hurt even in my dreams." Noor had said while gnawing in her pain and that's how she learned her rude roommate have a trauma, she wouldn't share with anyone. Perhaps, the reason why she's so isolated in herself.
"Isma'il is a miracle worker, Sadiya." Hidaya laugh sharing some stories of Isma'il and Noor that she's encountered. "Isma'il loves you, Noor. It's obvious now, the guy is all over you, I can't even imagine how bad it's for him."
"I don't know where your friend is getting this sharp tongue from, Sadiya, but she talks a lots lately. Leaving PIC had turned her into a complete different person, but I'm glad you're speaking your mind, Daya. Marriage is a lot of things."
"There you have it, Noor has also became very sentimental." Hidaya added pointing at where Noor appears on her device screen. Sadiya laugh at how good everything had turned out to be, she's more glad for Noor finally finding her purpose. She may never know what had transpired in Noor's early life, but it's so much pain to bear, that wouldn't let her sleep at such a young age. Noorur-rahman's indifference had been so loud for the longest time and she's glad she's seen it. Because after night even with how hard Noor had pushed her away, Sadiya had stayed beside her like true would do.
"Talking about love, I thought she had a thing for that chemistry teacher, what's his name again?.... Mubin, or did it only last in between the chemistry lessons?" Sadiya try to brought back the excitement of Mubin's arrival to PIC, he'd caused a steer, only to have his thought hooked around the mystery Noorur-rahman.
"They like each other, but I don't know why the connection wasn't stable." Hidaya said curiously.
"Stop talking about me as if I'm not here. I didn't call you to exhaust my brain with love affairs... " And girl almost spend the whole after talking until one of them finally gets tired and called a day.
....
Perhaps, it wasn't merely coincidental when Noor found Mubin on one of the resting chairs across the organic farm for agriculture students. It's one of the most beautiful place in the university surrounded by green nature everywhere, tall trees that may appear sinister. Scenery farm as most students called it, is a beauty of it own, a place to find peace. Though, only students of the department are allowed in, people like Noor enjoy it view from across it. If the students are not there, that area of the school is the most quiet place, with only the chirping sound of birds flying from one tree to the other.
Noor was supposed to wait for Isma'il there, he's bringing her her favorite chicken soup that Asabe has made earlier. "You're always at the unexpected places." Mubin said, after Noor have quickly recovered from the shock of seeing him there. He might have followed there her one day. She concluded.
"Same goes for you too!" She replied sitting beside him as she put her side bag between them. He stare at her act and shakes his head. Noor was dressed in white jeans paired with demin shirt dress below her knee with long sleeves and a white veil that's covering her hair that's tied in neat bun.
"You have been avoiding me since we met here." He said somewhat pained by that, though he have other reasons to be mad at her.
"I wasn't avoiding you, I just don't have any business with you other than our academic activities, and so far I don't have any issue that'll caused a meeting with you." He nodded, looking at it from a formal point of view.
"Mama was sick," he said after a while. "She had surgery last week, that's why I was absent on the first week. She'd her appendicitis removed."
"I wish her a speedy recovery." Noor didn't react the way Mubin had expected her to, he have wanted her to show concern, to at least appeared a little bit worried, but nothing of that sort happened, only the usual cold Noor.
"Can you at least call her and ask how she's doing."
"Why should I do that, I don't think that I'm supposed to call your mother." Noor said sounding surprise.
"You should stop being stubborn, she's mother too. She gave birth to you, why's it so hard for you to be nice to her?"
Noor stares at him with a pointed look, suddenly her mood has taken a 360° turn. She's just happy. "I'm not always the bad guy, you know that too. And as much as your mother have nothing to do with me, I also feel the same. This should be the last time you ever question me about that, my relationship with her is non of your business." She warned, hoping that he'll understand.
"Mama didn't meant what she told you in the kitchen the day before you left. She's so sad after you left. She was just angry at that moment."
"And what is that supposed to mean? Because what I felt at that moment was real, so real that its tores my heart. And I can't do anymore of that, ever. I don't!"
"She gave birth to you." He remained her and she laughed bitterly, is that ever enough? She wondered.
"Unfortunately, she did. And brought me in to this world, and then what? I wasn't even familiar with her arms when she left. I am not too good to overlook all that, to openly accept that woman as if she did nothing wrong. And let me remind you, she never looked for me, it was her brother's nobel gesture to finally reunite the poor little niece with her mother. So don't question me or try to. I don't need to know about the woman who never lift a finger to get to know me." She's blaring with anger, loosing her control. She's been fine, why's he here to remind of all that?
"So much hatred and anger, Noorur-rahman. Why didn't you hate her so much?" His brows furrowed as he asked, he can understand how Noor can be so irresponsible, mama's her mother for goodness sake!
"When I cry day and night she wasn't there, wheb going through the worst moment of my life your mother was not there. She's not there when I was being molested, assaulted, I was even raped, but she wasn't there. She's busy being your mom. She's never there!" The pain was visible in her eyes, everyone can see that she's hurt, but Mubin was thinking otherwise.
What's that? Her subconscious questioned. Whose angry voice was that? Perhaps someone behind her just talked, but the look on Mubin's face said complete opposite. Then she registered, it's my voice! She's loud, she spoke. Her heartbeat even stopped at that moment.
She's ruined!
But why?! She inwardly cries. She could feel her eyes building up with tears. That's her ultimate secret, no one was supposed to ever know. Wasn't she supposed to be buried with that secret? It's a catastrophe that should stay buried forever.
But she look at Mubin and feels that her secret isn't a secret anymore. She abruptly got up from where the chair. She will pretend she did not say a word, if that is possible. However, it wasn't just Mubin that was there, Isma'il heard it too. He's been there for a while now.
When Mubin turned to leave still somewhat, Isma'il didn't missed the disappointment on his face. As for Noor he knew as hell that was her worst slip of tongue, because if he knew her very well, he knew she will never exposed herself to such vulnerability. And being rape is that and so much more, for a girl like Noor is akin to being judge. So she immediately left even before Mubin did so
His heart weigh up, so heavy against his chest that he had to lean well behind the trunk of the tree he was standing next to. Now it makes sense, he knew Noor wasn't cold for nothing, but he could never have though that's the reason. He soon came to tears the moment he remembered Noor telling him she also have a worst day of her life. "Obviously, it wasn't when maman Naana said she never wanted me and still doesn't." She'd that day, now he believes she's trying to tell him something, but couldn't.
"When was?" He asked curiosity getting the best of him.
"A long time ago and it's a very long story that can not even be summarize. When I was this tall, I think everything started then." She had demonstrated with how tall she was.
"Eight years old." Isma'il had guessed.
"No, I was nine. Anyways, that's not the issue here. No one get ride of sadness with another sad story. Although, I feel that if I had a mother then, it will have been better." She smiled so brightly that he didn't paid much attention to the sadness tinting her eyes then. How could he have known that's what happened.
Isma'il contemplate on whether to meet with Noor or bring up an excuse and leave. He doesn't know if he can control himself while she's there. His blood boils over the fact that Noor have been trampled on at that tender age. Did abbah knew? He wonders at the time his phone rings pants' pocket. It's Noor calling.
"Assalamu alaikum!" He greeted, a beautiful smile spread across his when Noor answered his salaam.
"Let meet at home, I'm going out of the school now." Her voice cracked at the end, she's obviously crying.
"What's wrong with your voice?" He asked managing to keep his own stable.
"A sore throat, maybe." She chuckle lightly, but she's hurting all over again. All that was running in Isma'il's mind was who did that to her, she's only a child for goodness sake. "Are still there?" she asked when the other end went silent.
"I will bring some throat medicine then, don't worry okay, Noorie!" He said softly over the phone. "And remember you'll always have me by your side, always! It doesn't matter what, okay?" She nodded as if he could see her and she doesn't doubt for a bit that Isma'il will always be there for her, which why he is too good for her.
"Isma'il?" She called after a long silent of listening to each others breathe.
"Uhmm?"
"I think I don't want stay in the hostel anymore, I feel like I should even quit school."
"Come home, Noorie. We missed you every morning and I'm sure you will be just fine to come tomorrow."
"Is it okay?" He smiled, it's Noorur-rahman asking him whether it's okay to come home.
"Why won't it be, Noorie? It's your home, of course it's okay. And you are going to be okay too. So don't worry and just come home!" The called leaving Isma'il devastated, he doesn't know how to look at Noor in the eyes without feeling sorry for her.
....
Assalamu alaikum my beautiful people!
Welcome back and Eid Mubarak!
Hope you enjoyed it and celebrated with your family and friends. I wish us many more returns of it.... Amin.
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