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"Just leave me as you had planned all along"
Saying those words harshly he walked out of the kitchen leaving me miserable behind. More warm tears slipped out of my eyes as I heard those words out of his mouth. Is it this easy for him to say those words to me? It felt like his words were slicing my heart into two parts with a blunt knife. It made an ache form in the centre of my chest. I lifted my hand and placed it on my chest where it ached so bad. My vision kept on blurring with tears. Old tears felt replaced soon with new ones.
My numb body remained pinned to the refrigerator as his harsh words kept repeating in my head. It was clear in his words that he didn't want to see me anymore. He doesn't want me in his life anymore. He liked me because I was a man but after knowing my truth he doesn't want to even look at me. Does he feel this disgusted about me? I closed my eyes, making warm tears slip out the corner of my eyes as I slid down and sat on the floor with my head buried between my legs. I started regretting everything. I should have not come to this city in the first place. Nothing would have to happen. People say this city gives so much to them but no one said it also takes so much from you back. I kept sitting like that, crying my heart out.
"Sage" I heard a worried voice from William which made me lift my eyes and look at him. William, Logan, and James, we're standing there looking down at me. I sniffed hard while looking at them. I hurriedly tried to wipe my tears but as I wiped the old ones a new one slid down my cheeks. Why are they not stopping? Why is it hurting more than I imagined? William came running to me as he saw my weak attempt to get up.
"Let me help you," he said softly as he helped me stand up with his hand on my shoulder and lifted me as I gave him a small nod still sniffing. Logan brought a high chair for me to sit with a glass full of water. I didn't want to drink it but they made me drink it.
"H--he w--wants me to l--leave" I mumbled those words still sniffing as more tears built up in my eyes. It was so hard for me to say those words because I was madly in love with him. "What do you expect him to say after what you did to him?" James talked to me for the first time in his firm voice. It made me look at him. He was standing in the corner with his hand folded on his chest with a grim face. He was angry with me too. I had made lots of people sad and angry and it made me feel even worse.
"You should do what he had asked you and stop stretching the things," he said bitterly with his expressionless face as his eyes stayed fixed on me.
"James stopped it," Logan said in his mad voice as he looked at him. James just shrugged like my feelings for the head chef were nothing but dust.
"She is already facing the outcome of what she did. You don't need to do it more or give your expert advice" William said in his firm angry voice making me hold his hand to stop him. I don't want them fighting.
"Yeah, why will you need my advice after all. What I'm to you, Nothing! Are we even friends?" he said bitterly, looking at me with a hurt look on his face. I know he is hurt because all my friends knew about me being a woman except him.
"James" I called him out.
"Save it, Sage," he said in the same hurt voice as he lifted his body away from the kitchen island and walked out of the kitchen. I bit my lower lip as more guilt built up in me. I hit my face behind my palm, weeping more in silence. James was the one who was more fond of me. We shared a very good bond.
"Don't mind him, just give him time. He will come around," Wiliam said softly as he moved his hand on my back to stop me from crying. I stayed silently for some time trying to calm myself. He wants me to leave, then I will leave for a good bit before I want to apologize to everyone I hurt with or without the knowledge. I have accepted the fact that I have to live my life with this guild of deceiving my friends and close ones for the rest of my life. The rest of the day the head chef didn't show up. It never happens.
Is he ok?
All The bad thoughts were coming into my head. I very badly wanted to see him. My fingers kept up curling on their own in anxiety as I constantly kept looking at the door. I couldn't even find chef Oliver. If he was here I would have asked him where he was. James kept giving me the cold shoulder the whole day. I tried to talk to him but he always walked away. I waited until it was time to close the restaurant but he didn't show up. The next day too he didn't come to the restaurant, making me more worried. Is he not coming to work because I'm here? I wanted to ask chef Oliver about his whereabouts but I couldn't bring myself up. He was working when I looked at him. Gathering all my courage I walked toward him. I know he would be mad at me too because he had still not said a word to me from that day. Suddenly his cell phone rings, making me stop in my tracks. He walked out of the kitchen as I stood in the corner biting my lower lip in anxiousness. I waited until he came back to the kitchen. I gathered my courage and walked toward him still biting my lower lip in distress.
"C--chef Oliver" I called him in my weak voice. It made him stop what he was doing and look at him.
"C--can we talk" I stuttered while looking at him as I found his eyes on me. He gave me a small node which made me let out my breath which I have been holding. He walked out of the kitchen not before instructing William to look after the kitchen. William gave me an encouraging smile, making me smile back at him. I followed chef Oliver out to the meeting room. On my way, I bumped into James. He glared at me and walked away without listening to my sorry. I sighed in distress and followed chef, Oliver. I still kept standing as he took his seat.
"Sit," chef Oliver said to me while pointing to a chair beside him. I gave him a small nod and took the seat beside me.
"What do you want to talk about," he asked in his firm voice while looking at me. My fingers kept fidgeting with the hem of my shirt as I swallowed hard the lump on my throat before talking to him. Chef Oliver has always been my mentor and my saver. He has always supported me and I respect him for that a lot. He was like a big brother to me I never had. I took one deep breath before opening my mouth.
"I want to apologize to you," I said in a small voice with my lowered eyes. "I should have told you before," I said in my small voice, still looking down at my fingers.
"Sage" he suddenly called me stopping me from saying anything else. I know he won't want to hear my apology either. He will give me a cold shoulder like James too. I prepared myself to hear his no but I will still try my best to say sorry to him for my behaviour. My fingers curled even more at the hem of my shirt. But what he said next made my fingers uncurl and look at him with wide shocked eyes.
"I knew on every first day of competition that you were a girl"
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A/N
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