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"Don't you date to show your clams on me ever"
I walked out of there with my broken heart. I will not let him play with me again. I wiped my face before going to the kitchen but my eyes were still red.
"Sage, where is the meat," chef Oliver asked me as I came back empty-handed. I didn't bring meat with me.
"We are running out of it. I will go and grab it from the market" I lied as I ran out before he could say anything. I wanted to be alone now. The rest of the days went like that as I was deeply engrossed in inner agony. That day I went home and cried even more. I had decided to not make any relation not to get attached to anyone. Not fall in love with anyone but all my plans were ruined. I was going through everything that I didn't want to. I hope that the rest of the months go fast so I can go home soon to my family. I want to stay with my people and cry in my mom's lap as the burden of new relations, feelings are eating me up. It was not the right time for me but things happen to you only at your wrong time. Erick noticed my change of behaviour.
"What's wrong Sage?" he asked me as I was walking back to my room when he came back home as I didn't feel like being with anyone.
"Nothing," I said in my small voice and tried to get away from him but he didn't let me. Instead, he took me to the couch and made me sit on it.
"Now tell me what's wrong," he asked in his calm voice.
"Sage," he asked me as he lifted my chin and made me look at him.
"Everything feels so burdening," I said looking in his blue eyes with my glassy one.
"I'm doing things which I shouldn't do but they are not in my control anymore," I said my crying voice looking straight into his eyes. His eyes softened when he heard my words.
"Is it hurting you badly?" he asked in his soft voice as he looked at me with his blue eyes. I nodded my head yes.
"Who is he?" he asked in his firm voice as he heard my words, making me look at him with confused eyes.
"Who," I said in my small crying voice.
"The person you are in love with," he said those words without any doubt making me look at him with my teary surprised eyes.
"How," I asked him in the same voice as a tear rolled down from my eyes.
"I'm familiar with these tears and the pain you are feeling," he said in his calm voice but a pinched smile on the corner of his lips as he put his finger under the rolling drop of my tear and it felt on his finger.
"I know how it feels to be there, maybe I'm still there," he said as he looked at the teardrop on his finger. I could see the pain in his eyes.
"Do you love her?" I asked as I saw his pain.
"I don't know things are very complicated but I have learned to deal with it in my way," he said as a pained smile crossed his face.
"What went wrong," I asked in my curious voice as I wiped my eyes from the back of my hand.
"Many things," he said without telling me the actual reason as he was still looking at the drop of my tear with unknown emotions in his eyes.
"So who is he? The guy from where you work" he asked now by fixing his blue eyes from my teardrop to me. As he said those words his grey eyes flashed in my head.
"Yes," I nodded my head as I sobbed.
"What went wrong," he asked me the same question I asked him a few minutes ago.
"Everything. My life is messed up. The feelings I'm feeling are not meant for me. I came to the city with purpose but in this process, I'm losing myself" I said as I sobbed with more fresh tears falling from my eyes.
"Why do you try to talk with him," he asked as I could see unknown pain in his eyes as he asked me that question.
"Things are not as easy as they seem. Many lives will be ruined in the process. When he will come to know my true self he will kick me out of his life. So it's better how things are. Once I fulfil my purpose I will go back home and then things I feel will be only a burden and nothing more. So I should bury everything in my heart let things be how they are" I said what my heart was saying while looking at my fidgeting fingers. I felt his eyes on me all the time as I said everything. He was looking at me as If he was relating to me or trying to find something in me. He sighs deeply, making me look at him.
"I know how strong you are, you have made it this far and I know you will make it to the end. You will learn to deal with this in your way as I have" he said in his soft voice but at last words, I felt he was being distanced and I saw flickers of anger in his blue eyes. Like he was in his world but that look was gone and he looked at me as he flashed me his rare smile. He was smiling at me but I could see the pain in his eyes which he was trying to hide but was failing at it.
Who was the woman who made strong stones like Erick feel these emotions? His words made me curious about her. At that moment I realised I didn't know anything about Erick. I knew him first as only my landlord and now as a friend but apart from that I had no clue of him or his life. He was always a closed-up personality but today I can say I know him a little more. I kept my hand on him as I gave it a little squeeze with a warm smile on my face.
"Don't worry everything will be fine one day" I found myself consoling him and he gave me his rare smile saying the same thing to me with it. We were unknowingly being each other's shoulders and advisers. We both were in a place that was hard for us but we are still trying to make it to the end. After our conversation, we stayed seated on the couch trying to find calmness in the silent room with our minds filled with lots of loud thoughts.
After that day I only told my heart to endure the pain in silence so I could make it till the end. I can't let my feelings ruin my purpose for coming to this city. It was much more important to me than my unwanted feelings. Maybe this was my test. God was seeing if I lost my path if he threw hurdles in my path. But I will show him that I will make it till the end. I will learn to be strong again for my family. For two days. I kept avoiding him. He would glare at me if a chef team member came near me or talked with me.
He would bark orders to everyone including me too. But I just followed his order and didn't talk to him. Most of the time I ignored him. He tried to talk with me many times but I didn't let him pass. I was feeling tired of everything and the good thing was tomorrow was a holiday. The day I don't have to see his face or follow his order. It was almost time to leave so I cleaned the kitchen fast so I could leave too. As I was done I followed everyone down but all of them were gone now so I walked towards the get. But to my dismay I found him standing there leaning on his car waiting for someone. I tried to walk past him but he grabbed my hand.
"I want to talk with you," he said possessively as I tried to get my hand out of his tight grip. I closed my eyes as I felt a spark when he touched me. I was losing my way again and It made my blood boil. I controlled my emotions with a few deep breaths.
"Why couldn't you talk with me in front of everyone" I taunted in anger which made him grip my hand more tightly as he clenched his jaw. He was about to say something when we heard a loud horn of a car and Sophia was there to pick me up.
"Sage" she called out my name as she noticed everything unfolding before her eyes.
"Let me go, my girlfriend is here to pick me" I taunted again as I yanked my hand from his grip and walked away from him without turning back. Anger flashed in his eyes as I said a word, my girlfriend. I went straight to sit in the car and let my angry tears fall from my eyes. Sophia drove to my apartment quietly as I kept crying out my anger. Now we were seated in my room as I sobbed.
"So what have you thought," she asked me in her concerned voice.
"I don't know," I said as more tests fell from my eyes.
"He has a fiance and he says I'm his when I roam in his restaurant dressed as a man," I said in my mad frustrated voice.
"He has feelings for you even after knowing you are a man. Do you think he is gay? Will his feelings change when he comes to know you are a woman and not a man? '' she said in her thoughtful voice, making more tears fall from my eyes. She asked me the question from which I was restricting myself even to pop up in my mind.
What if he is gay? What will I do?
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you. He can be bisexual interested in both" she said making me sob louder. I knew she didn't mean to hurt me, she was deeply worried for me and trying her best to console me.
"I don't know," I said, crying my eyes out as the door of my room was open. Erick came in as he heard me crying. He looked at Sophia as she moved her head at him. He looked at me for a few seconds at my crying mess.
"Girls you promised me you will go partying with me and today is the day so let's get changed fast," he said as he looked at me to cheer me up.
"Yeah," Sophia said in her cheerful voice as she looked at me.
"I don't want to. You guys go have fun," I said in my small voice to which his eyes furrowed.
"Get ready if you don't want to be homeless tonight," he said in his serious voice, making me gulp in dismay at his seriousness in his voice. I nod my head.
"Good" saying that he walked out, closing the door behind.
"Let's start getting ready," Sophia said in her excited voice as she tried to make me move.
"I don't have any clothes," I said in my tiny voice.
"Don't worry girl I got you?" she said with a big smile on her face as she took out the dresses from her bag. So everything was planned. In half an hour we were ready. I was wearing a black strapless dress which ended at my mid tights. Sophia was wearing a blue-coloured spaghetti one-piece. She did my make up and after a long time, I was feeling like a woman from inside and outside. Erick was wearing casual jeans and pants and still managed to look like a model. Soon we were in the club dancing. I had decided to let go of all my worries and enjoy the night. I had a few drinks and danced in the crowd as Sophia went to bring more drinks for me. I saw Erick was seated in the corner and observing me as he took a sip of his drink. I gave him a mischievous smile and went to him.
"Let's dance, you can't sit there like that," I said in my little drunk voice as I dragged him to the dance floor. He didn't protest and started dancing with me as he put his hands on my hips and pulled me towards him as his eyes remained fixed on my face. His sudden action made me gasp in surprise as we started dancing slowly. He moved his face near my ear making me stop dancing for a second.
"You are so beautiful," he said with the same mischievous smile on his face as he moved his hand cupping my face making lazy circles on my cheeks. My face burns red as the tip of his finger grazes my lower lip slightly as his eyes move to my lips. But it was gone in a split second. I opened and closed my eyes. I'm imagining things because I had too much to drink.
"I need fresh air," I said loudly as I moved out of his arms and walked out to find fresh air to breathe. I took a long deep breath as soon as I was out of the club with closed eyes. I opened my eyes and was about to take a deep breath again when my breath got stuck in my lungs as I saw who was standing in front of me.
"You are women," he said in a traumatic voice.
"Logan"
______________________________________
A/N
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