A/N: Song is Easy on Me by Adele and you can look it up on YouTube for a better reading experience. You can play it from the start directly.
---
In the endless darkness, Pier was crying his heart out.
Tears continued to stream down his face and he was sobbing endlessly.
"I-I just want to live, is that too much for me to ask?" He wanted to forget, to remove any of those memories that haunted him.
Why was he being punished like this? What did he do?
Is he that much of a sinner that he was constantly being forced to see his misfortunes from time to time?
"I don't want to see the memories anymore, they're hurting me" He spoke as he wiped his eyes but the tears did not even stop.
He was just a child, someone who heavily relied on another person to be his guide. Yet he never got one. Instead, he was treading his own path in the dark alleys.
There wasn't anyone to hold him, there wasn't anyone who consoled him whenever he made a mistake.
Instead, he constantly got beaten up and told he would be killed if he made another mistake again.
Was that even fair?
That's why he decided to forget everything. To put everything aside and focus on where he currently was, as Pier Belmiunde, as the successor of the House of Masters.
Not Eliam Schneider, the dirty, disgusting, and stained person he used to be.
Pier did not want to return in his past life, he was constantly holding on because he had that glint of hope that things would change but it did not.
As the years went by, the world became rougher. It held his neck tighter and it suffocated him until his last breath.
Why was he treated like that? Just because he took interest in playing his fate took a turn for the worst?
Was that even fair?
He was a cursed being void of any luck. He was an abomination that roamed the world.
Eliam Schneider was disgusting, he was dirty. People looked down on him because he was used by many.
He was constantly beaten, starved, degraded.
Eliam was violated in many forms that even until his last breath, he did not see the light of the world even for once.
He was just a child, what was he supposed to do? He was all alone the entire time with no one to hold his hand and lead him to the better path.
"You forced yourself to forget these memories when you transferred in this world, Guardian" Melfar concluded as he understood why the memories were playing.
It was because Pier kept them at the very back of his mind, buried to be forgotten once he became Pier and lived a new life.
And as he lost consciousness, Pier wandered in the deepest corners of his own self and reached the part where he buried them, the memories of his past.
That was why Pier was suffering right now, he even reached the part of his consciousness where the mythical bird was residing.
And it was hurting him, it was giving him too much pain.
Seeing what he used to be, the used and broken Eliam, he was reminded of how he was treated by everyone around him.
There wasn't a single moment in his life where Eliam became happy, none. He was submerged in despair with no way to get out.
He had been swimming in the endless sea of darkness ever since he was born.
That was the reason why he was too dedicated in living the life he wanted to, just like what the original Pier had requested him.
He was enthralled with the idea of living freely, with no chains to bind his feet and no roots to pin him down. He was very grateful for the new life even if it meant he lost his previous body.
He despised Eliam, he hated his own self.
Pier was truly grateful that he got another chance to become someone else, someone who was also brought down by the world but where he can still find chances of recuperation.
Surely he could just ignore the hatred the original Pier had with the world and live with his own life now. But Pier Belmiunde was the person who gave him this new perspective.
Pier gave him the horizon that he desired to see.
That's why even if Eliam had the full authority over his decisions, he still decided to act as Pier and do things that would uplift his name.
He did not want to place the original Pier in a glass case to be kept from others, he wanted Pier to be known as an entity that cannot be touched by anyone.
He did not want Pier to be the same predicament as him, as someone who was highly revered on the stage but disrespected and treated as the lowest behind the curtains.
That's why Eliam tried to change the course of fate.
He tried to change the fate Pier Belmiunde was supposed to have.
And he was successful.
He sobbed as he leaned his head on his knees and he sniffed.
He was happy that he had finally gotten a new start. A new name, a new life.
"You're hurting because you tried to forget but you did not let go, guardian" Melfar spoke as he walked and sat beside Pier.
"You... hic... you do realize that I'm not your guardian and the real one is dead" He tried to joke but Melfar still had a pitying gaze on his face.
"You do also realize that if you did not transfer in that body you wouldn't have been my guardian either" the phoenix retorted and Pier stopped for a short moment.
"This does not apply to everyone but..." Melfar started to speak again after a few minutes of silence between them.
Pat
"The past may be your chains but they can also serve as your key towards your chosen future"
Pier sighed as he once more saw the memories.
Eliam was crying.
He was being violated and he could not do anything with it.
They were all the scenarios he saw before and he had also forgotten.
It was one of the questions he had but he never got the answer with.
Why was his life so messed up?
He did not cease to search for the light but in reality, he was already in a place covered forever.
His efforts became futile even until he was stabbed and transferred in this world.
He chuckled as he remembered the reason why he died in his previous life as Eliam.
He was stabbed to death.
'Why didn't I die when I asked to but when I wanted to pursue life again I was instead killed?' He asked himself.
What did he do to the world that he would be treated like that?
It was just like the cliché novels he read online where the protagonist dies and transfers in the body of another person.
They start to live their life and achieve a happy ending.
He wished his life was like that too, where he could have the freedom of choosing his own path and living life to the fullest.
But there was another plot for him and he was struggling to get out of it, to get out of the hole that was pulling him down.
Unlike the novels he had read, he was bitten by reality.
That he was dirty, that even if he tried to escape his fate as Eliam Schneider and went to change the fate of another, he would still be the same person who had handprints marked all over him.
Eliam had a world of his own.
He was sinned, he was the sinner.
At one point he became a saint, but at another direction he was also a demon.
He was a prisoner but he was also the one who imprisoned himself.
But in the end, Eliam became a runaway prisoner.
He ran away from his life as Eliam and tried to live the life of Pier.
"Let go of your past and you will be free, Eliam" Melfar spoke and Pier turned his head to look at the creature.
However, Melfar wasn't there anymore.
"Melfar...?" He called out in the endless darkness but there was no one who responded.
Until he heard another sound.
Splash!
Splash!
"H-Huh..." Pier turned to look at the direction where the sound was coming from and his body froze when he did so.
"Brother, come play with me in this puddle!"
His hands trembled and his entire body had shivers.
"C-Chase..." He called out as he saw the small child.
It was just as he had remembered.
The same grayish hair that he had, a handsome face even as a child, and the innocent look that held the entire world in it.
"Chase!" Pier called out as he ran toward the child who was playing on a small puddle in the middle of the darkness they were in.
His voice shook and his eyes started to water.
It was Chase, his younger brother. The person who made him pursue life even after all the things he experienced.
"Chase... hic... Chase..." Pier ran, he sprinted towards the child but as he approached, Chase seems to be getting further away from him.
"What's wrong, brother?" Chase asked as he stopped playing on the puddle.
"N-No... why can't I reach you..." Pier spoke in worry as he could not reach Chase no matter how fast he ran.
"Do you not want to play with me anymore, brother?" Chase asked and Pier stopped in his tracks.
"N-No... I... I want to play with you-"
That's when realizations came hitting Pier from every direction.
'Chase could not exist here, he's back at my previous life and he's happy' He thought as he fully stopped running towards Chase.
The child was also looking at him in return.
That's right, Pier did not want to go after his past now.
"Brother... please play with me..." Chase started to cry and it broke Pier's heart in a million pieces.
It shattered the walls he built and the shield he held.
Just a sob from his younger brother and he would also come crashing down.
"B-Brother doesn't want to play with me anymore" Chase cried.
And so did Pier.
Drop
A teardrop fell from his eyes and he bowed his head as another set of tears came tumbling down his cheeks.
He gritted his teeth and clenched his hands.
He realized that no matter how fast he ran, he would never reach the destination he wanted to go as Eliam.
It was the harsh reality that he should accept.
"Chase..." He softly called as he kneeled on the ground and he started to cry even louder.
"B-BROTHER.... BROTHER LOVES YOU VERY MUCH...."
Making decisions where we know we'll get hurt is something we always try to avoid.
"BROTHER WILL ALWAYS LOVE CHASE NO MATTER WHAT AND I WILL ALWAYS PLAY WITH YOU!"
Letting go is hard, but it also gives us serenity on the longer run.
"W-WHEN WE MEET NEXT TIME, BE SURE TO BRING YOUR TOY AIRPLANE, ALRIGHT?"
Sometimes, you have to give up on people. Not because you don't care, but because it will help us move ahead.
"E-EVEN IF BROTHER IS NOT THERE ANYMORE, YOU CAN STILL PLAY WITH OTHER KIDS, D-DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"
One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of something that you cannot change.
"Brother, will you go now?" Chase asked and Pier smiled.
He smiled as tears continued to stream down his face.
"Brother will be selfish even just for once, Chase. Will you let me do that?" He asked softly as he reached his hand out.
Chase smiled as he also held his hand out.
It was then, distance was no longer an issue between them and Pier felt the soft, small hands of his own brother.
"Brother can do whatever he wants and I will be happy!" The small child spoke and Pier started to burst out crying.
He reached his pinky finger out and Chase did the same.
"Brother, you don't have to suffer! Chase will be a good boy" He continued and Pier could not hold back his remaining tears anymore.
"Just promise that when I meet brother again, he will play with me!" Chase blabbered and Pier gave him a soft smile.
"I promise, Chase" He swore and connected their pinky fingers.
Pier cried.
He cried so much that he felt as if he was being lifted in the air.
He felt as if the sins that stained his blank canvas were starting to get washed away.
He felt happy.
Light started to engulf Pier.
"Brother"
But this time, it was another voice.
Eliam turned his head to look up at Chase but the small boy that he loved was not there anymore. Instead, it was a grown up man wearing a suit.
The man's dark gray hair was slick back and he had a handsome face.
"Chase...?" Eliam asked and Chase nodded his head.
"I'm a grown up now and seeing brother makes me want to cry my heart out like a child" The man spoke and Eliam's heartstrings were tugged again.
"Ever since brother died, I have been lonely. But now that I saw brother again, I'm happy. I'm relieved and I am satisfied" Chase spoke.
He was now taller than Pier and the latter felt he was Chase's younger brother instead.
Pat
This time, it wasn't the younger or older version of Chase alone anymore.
There were to persons standing in front of Pier and those were the two versions.
"Go live your life, brother. Chase will always wish the best for you!"
"Go live your life, brother. Chase will always wish the best for you!"
They spoke in unison and Pier felt something well up inside of him.
"THANK YOU... THANK YOU SO MUCH, CHASE!" He smiled while he cried.
The light continued to shine and it started to fill the darkness that he was in.
Slowly
Slowly
Slowly
Until it engulfed the entire place, Pier was smiling as he wept.
The shadows of his past no longer held him back.
The darkness that terrorized his life was now starting to fade.
Pier was still smiling as he stood up. The hand that he held on with a promise was no longer there.
The entire place was white and not a speck of another color was there.
It was just like a blank canvas.
He started to walk.
Each step was resonating in his ears but it was not unpleasant.
Eliam was walking on the blank canvas of his own self.
Eliam Schneider was finally free.
---
Letting go is not about forgetting the past, it is inclined with how we try to accept the present and what we expect in the future.
Good job, Eliam!