NOTE: TW // SUICIDE
JENNIE
5 MONTHS. IT'S been 5 months already eversince she died. I am still devastated. I recently moved to an apartment. I couldn't stay in our house anymore. Every corner of the house reminds me of her. And it hurts so much. So I thought that it's better if I move. I didn't sell it, of course. I don't have any plans to do so. I'll just ask Jisoo unnie to take care of it.
I can't breathe properly anymore. Eversince Lisa died, I couldn't sleep at all. It's been days now since I last ate something, yet I don't feel any hunger. What the hell is happening to me?
Jisoo unnie and others kept on calling me these past few days. Out of annoyance since I want to be alone, I broke my phone.
I grabbed a two piece of paper and started writing a letter for Jisoo unnie. And for Lisa although she won't be able to read it. While writing the letter, my tears are uncontrollable. It keeps on escaping from my eyes.
I'm so tired. I want to take a rest already. I can't take this anymore.
Lisa, please don't be mad at me. I just want to end this pain. I just want to be with you again. You would understand, right? We'll see each other again any minute from now.
The letters are done.
I grabbed my camera and started filming a video. This is the least I can do to properly say my goodbyes.
"Hi, guys. So yeah. I'm so sorry. I have to do this. I badly want to end this pain already because it's getting harder and harder. I hope you'll understand. I'll miss you guys so much. Any minute from now, I'll see Lisa again. I will make sure to say everything you want to say to her. I promise. Uhm, I want to apologize once again for breaking her heart. I hope you'll forgive me. I love you all." And I ended the video.
I clutched my chest. Fuck. It hurts so much.
I looked up at the rope. I didn't expect that I will come to this point. I climbed the chair and wore the rope around my neck.
That's when I finally ended my pain. I kicked the chair away that was supporting my feet earlier.
I'm sorry. Goodbye.