Luna~
37 weeks pregnant and still no signs of this baby coming early. We're both growing impatient. We've been in Scottsdale for the past week and a half. I think I've folded and refolded their clothes about three times just this week. I don't know if that's normal or if it's a mechanism to keep me busy.
I sit down in the rocking chair after organizing the dresser yet again. "Taking a break?" Christian asks me as I looked at some of the books from our families.
I look up, "Yeah."
"Come downstairs with me."
I hold my hand out for him to help me stand up. "What are you doing?" I ask we head downstairs.
"Just lounging. I got lonely."
Once we get down there, I notice he's basically set up for a movie. The curtains and blinds shut. The smell of homemade popcorn. "You sure you just got lonely?"
"Okay, maybe I wanted to watch a movie with my wife."
I sit down at the corner of the couch so my back is more supported, "You know I'll probably end up falling asleep, right?"
"I figured you would." Not sure if I should be glad he knew that or take some sort of offense to that.
He sets the popcorn down in front of me and then sits down next to me, having me turn so my legs are across his lap. "How have you felt today?"
I shrug, "As normal as I should feel."
Christian leans forward and gets the bowl of popcorn for us. Knowing my body, I'll most likely be out within an hour of whatever movie he has playing.
38 weeks
Alecia and I sit at the dining room table as we look over our baby books. Alecia had brought Christian's with and I brought mine so we could sit down and look at them together.
"Did you guys have a 3D ultrasound?" Alecia asks me.
"Yeah, after I fell they were able to do it then."
"Do you have it?"
I go to stand up but Christian beats me to it, "I got it. Sit down."
He gets the pictures from the side of the fridge and hands them to his mom. "How far along were these taken?"
"26 weeks, I think. We weren't supposed to go in for a couple of weeks but since I fell, we both needed that reassurance that everything was okay."
I continue to page through Christian's baby book and do nothing but smile at these pictures. "You were a cute baby."
"Luna, they look just like you."
"Mom, I already tried telling her that."
I roll my eyes at him, "I don't see it at all."
"I think it's the nose that really stands out." She hands me the sonograms and I look at them again. I really don't see it. To me, our baby looks exactly like Christian. I can sort of pick out the nose but that's about it.
I shut the book, "I'm going to go keep myself busy," I tell them.
"Doing what?"
"I'm not sure yet. I know I'll find something.
I walk upstairs into the nursery to figure out something to do. There's a lot to do but I just don't really know what to do. Besides organizing clothing and baby essentials, there's not much left to be done. Some days I'll like how I organized one thing and then hate it the next prompting me to reorganize again.
I sit down on the floor after grabbing a few baskets that still needed to be filled with whatever I had left that was in boxes. Most of it's clothes for when they're closer to a year old.
"Hey, feeling okay?"
I turn and look at Christian as he walks toward me, getting down next to me.
"Yeah, the chair got too hard."
He laughs, "And the floor is better?"
"Well, I'm sitting on a pillow, so yes."
"How many times are you go keep coming in here to organize?"
"As many times that I want just to pass time."
"Are you bored?"
"Very. I can't do much. Physically, I'm bounded the house because everything I need is here."
"I don't think you're bounded to the house."
"Sort of am. Everything I need is here. If I were to go somewhere, someone has to come with me because this baby could decide it wants to come while I'm shopping. So, I rather stay here and not chance it."
"That's fair. I'd rather you'd have someone with you 24/7."
"Makes more sense for me to just stay here."
"I understand. How big are they?"
"A melon who has run out of room and decides to push my lungs further into my chest than they need to be," I say with a moderate tone.
He moves behind me, "How's your back?"
"Hurts like hell." It's more my lower back than anything, which I'm sure is a good thing. I think that means that they're moving down into my pelvic floor, which I'm thankful for, but also, my back hurts any time of the day unless I have a heating pad on it.
There are a few pressure points on my back that we've been told to hold pressure on for a few minutes. It works for a while but then it just goes right back to how it was before.
"Excited for our appointment tomorrow?"
I shrug, "It's hard to be excited when I feel like she's going to tell us the same thing she's been telling us for the past two weeks." After I hit 36 weeks, we have to go in every week to make sure everything is looking okay.
Every time we go in she says something along the lines of, 'I don't think this baby is coming early. You're not dilated at all. And baby hasn't dropped.' It's so incredibly frustrating because I want nothing more than to hold my baby right now.
"Well, this baby has to come out sometime. It's going to be soon. I know you're frustrated."
"I'm just tired of being pregnant which I didn't think I'd ever admit to myself."
He lets me lean back on him, "I'm not just saying this either, but you're doing great."
I just nod, getting more comfortable against him as I look around the room. Hopefully, two more weeks or less and we'll be parents.
"Mom wants to know if you want any specific dinners so she can make them and then we'll have meals."
"You gotta give me time to think about that. Especially when I'm not tired."
It's like I can see the smile form on his face. "Let's go take a nap then."
I sit up out of his embrace as he gets up and stands in front of me, "You're going to take nap too?" I ask as he holds his hands out for me.
"Yeah. This pregnancy has me tired too."
"I don't think you get to say that," I say laughing but quickly regret laughing because my bladder is just stupid right now.
"Got you up faster though."
He hits my butt on our way out of the nursery but I turn, "No."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Mmhmm, right."
"Well, I wish I had better news to give you. You're only a half-centimeter dilated and it seems like this baby is going to take their sweet time getting here. The good thing is that baby is head down and is descending. There's some progress. Other than that, you're both healthy so that's one thing you can focus on and remember that you're healthy," our doctor tells us.
She continues, "You are not even in the early phase of labor. So I am going to recommend that we schedule an induction date, and I know that's probably not what you wanted but baby has to come out at some point. It'll be after your due date, no later than two weeks past your due date. I wish I had better news for you both but it looks like your baby wants to be stubborn."
Well, there's my stubbornness already showing in our kid. Christian's going to have a hell of a time with the both of us. "Is there anything we can do to possibly induce myself at home to get them out faster?"
"Light exercise. As in walking. Bouncing on a yoga ball. Squats but I don't like to recommend it because you can hurt yourself and nobody wants that. Sex is always an extremely effective option." She should've not said that. "I've also heard that spicy foods help, if you like those. But get some rest. We don't want you coming in if you've induced yourself, completely exhausted. You have to rest."
"Okay, that sounds manageable."
"So what day will the induction be?" Christian asks.
"You're due to 6th so any day after the 13th. Some women don't make it to their induction date which might happen to you. But I think we should be prepared in case you are still pregnant after your due date. But a few things to take away from this visit is that you're both healthy and everything is more than okay."
"Okay, thank you for everything so far."
"I can tell you're frustrated but everything will be okay. But go ahead and call the hospital and tell them you need to schedule an induction date. I already put it in your chart so they know that you'll be calling. They'll ask you to pick a date after the 13th and then you'll be set to go."
"Thank you," we both say and she leaves us in the room alone.
"That's your stubbornness in our kid."
"Thanks, captain obvious, thanks for pointing that out like I don't already know."
"Hey, don't get mad at me."
"I'm not mad. I'm frustrated. I'm tired of being pregnant." He helps me off of the exam table and holds my jacket out for me.
"I know you are. I don't know how to tell you to look on the bright side because I know you're frustrated. But our baby is healthy. And if that means I don't get my birthday baby, then I'm completely okay with that."
"You really wanted this birthday baby, didn't you?"
He shrugs as we walk out of the clinic, "I mean yeah, it'd be pretty cool, but I just want you both healthy. That's my number one."
We get in the car, "Plus, we can try to induce you before. It's not impossible."
"Feels pretty impossible right now."
"Well, she's the one that said sex was the extremely effective option."
"I can barely be comfortable standing up. How do you expect me to be comfortable during sex?"
"Hey, it's an option that I'm open to."
"Yeah, and I'm done with this conversation. Can we go get something to eat now?"
He laughs, "Yeah, we can get something. Do you want anything specific?"
"I'll eat anything."
"So, any good news?" Trin asks as we all sit at the table while I talk to her over FaceTime.
"Other than we're both healthy. I'm at a half-centimeter and she thinks that this baby will not be coming anytime soon, which sucks. So we have an induction date scheduled for the 14th at noon."
"Induction?" Alecia asks.
"I'm not happy about it. I'm very frustrated, actually."
"You can't get it any closer to your due date?"
"No, she told us any day after the 13th and before the 20th. But I'm hoping to induce myself before then."
"Well, I hate to make things awkward, but sex is always a great option," Trin tells me.
"Don't poke the bear right now, Trin. It's not worth it," Christian tells her.
"Don't encourage it, please." Christian laughs and I lightly nudge him with my foot.
"Honey, she's right," Alecia says. The last thing I needed was my husband's mom telling me that sex is a great option. That's what I really need to hear today. Not. I think it's better than my mom telling me that, so that's a plus.
Christian moves in front of me, "She's just frustrated."
"Yeah, I can tell. When do you want me to come out?"
"I don't know. That's up to you."
"I will just talk to Christian because I can tell you're not in a good mood. Go take a nap and be happier when you wake up."
"I can't promise anything."
"What do you want for your birthday since you can't get a baby in time?" I ask Christian as we sit in the Target parking lot after stopping in to get a few things. His birthday is in a few days which also means my due date is in a few days.
"From you?"
"No, from John Legend, he asked me. Yes, from me."
"Nothing."
"Oh, come on. Give me something."
"Babe, I don't need anything."
I sigh, "Fine, I'll figure it out by myself."
"You won't give it up?"
"Nope."
"You're stubborn."
"I know."
"Need anything else while we're out?"
"Not that I can think of."
"Okay," he leans over the console and kisses me.
"Sorry if I've seemed like I was mad at you because I'm not. I'm just tired and-"
"Frustrated?"
"Yeah, and discouraged, and defeated almost."
"I might not know what you're actually going through since it's not my body, but you don't have to apologize. I wouldn't know how you're actually feeling aside from you telling me even though I know you're only giving me a small layer of it."
"I just feel like I've been really short with everyone lately. You, your mom, Trin, Cody, my dad. Everyone and I just feel bad."
"You really don't have to feel bad. We all know that you're frustrated and tired and a lot of other things. The one thing that is keeping me sane is that we know that we'll be parents on December 14th or earlier," he says putting his hand on my leg.
"A little over a week which is going to go faster than we both think but also feel like it's the slowest thing in the world."
"Yep, completely agree."
December 12th, 2024
"You're just getting up?" Christian asks me as he comes into our room after his workout.
"Well, not really. I've tried to get up and walk around or go get something and then your mom tells me to go lay down."
He laughs, "Really?"
"Yeah, so I've been either watching some HGTV show or Masterchef Junior because he's nicer to the kids than he is the adults."
"Gordon Ramsey?"
"Yes. So whenever I do go to get something, she tells me to go lay down and she'll bring whatever I want."
"Well, you are six days overdue."
"I'm really trying to embrace it too." I go into the bathroom to turn on the shower. I'm just bored at this point and showering seems like a nice way to pass time.
"Well, I'll leave you to it. Yell if you need anything."
"I will." He shuts the door for me as I find a water temperature of my liking.
"You know, you can come out any day now. No one is stopping you except for yourself."
We went to the doctor again a couple of days ago and she's optimistic that they would make their appearance a little earlier than the 14th. However, we're two days from induction day and I'm still very much pregnant.
After I shower and 'get ready' for the day which really means brush out my hair and put a different pair of Christian's sweatpants on and a sports bra followed by a zip-up jacket to keep me warm.
I see my phone light up from across the room and go over to see who it is.
Cody: Busy?
Me: No? But I can't necessarily do anything though
Cody: That's fine. You're home, right?
Me: Nowhere else I can be right now
Cody: Good because I'm in the driveway
I walk over to the window and sure enough, he's in the driveway.
Me: Give me a few minutes to get downstairs
I head downstairs as fast as I can which isn't that fast. I head to the front door but Christian notices, "What are you doing?"
"Cody's here and I don't know why."
I slip on some sandals before heading out to the driveway. "Hey, what are you doing here?"
"Well, I figured you'd be home since you know you're still pregnant and I just needed to talk to somebody."
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah. I just needed to talk to you. It's nothing bad. I just need your perspective on this."
"Well, do you want to come in?"
"Can we go for a walk? Shouldn't you be doing that anyway?"
"Yeah, hold on, let me go tell Christian."
"Babe?" I ask opening the door so I don't have to go inside all the way.
"Yeah?"
"Cody and I are going to go for a walk around the block."
"Do you have your phone?"
"Yeah."
"Call me if anything happens."
"I will. Well, more likely Cody will."
He kisses me before I head back over to Cody and we head down the driveway. "What's going on?"
"I just needed your opinion about some things."
"Like?"
"Well, obviously Chase and I aren't having the wedding this offseason just because there wasn't enough time for planning so we're shooting for next offseason. However, somehow kids got brought into the picture and now I don't know what to do."
"Is she pregnant?"
"No, not that I know of. But she was talking about how like she thinks she wants to start having kids soon and that freaks me out."
"Before the wedding?"
"I don't know. It wouldn't make sense. How did you realize you were ready to have a baby?"
"Cody, I'm still not ready. I get induced in two days and there is not a minute that goes by where I think that I'm ready, because I'm not. I'm ready to no longer be pregnant. But the thought of me being a parent still scares me because I don't know how I'm going to parent. Parenting is such a weird topic because nobody is ever ready. Alecia and my sister have both told us that."
"But at what point did you and Christian put it in stone that you were planning on having kids? It's a lot to think about when we're still engaged and will be engaged for the next year until the wedding."
"We never said by a certain point that we wanted to be pregnant. I had to get taken off of my birth control and I didn't want to get another one placed because it didn't make sense for the both of us since we both knew that we wanted kids fairly soon after we got married. We played it safe for the most part. Then Jared asked us and we answered his question nonchalantly because we were newlyweds at the point. I just happen to get pregnant in early March. This pregnancy wasn't necessarily planned. It was sort of like, if I got pregnant, neither of us would be mad about it."
"Am I just thinking too much about this and she's just planning for the future?"
"She could be. I don't know Cody. You have to talk to her."
"Isn't that what I always had to say to you?"
"Yeah, but it worked damn well," I say laughing, feeling a bit of liquid run down my leg. I'm just gonna wait until we make it around the block. I feel fine.
"So, any details about the wedding that I can know about?" I ask trying to not seem like I definitely need to go to the hospital.
"Well, it'll be out here just since I'm out here more during the offseason. We're looking at either places in Scottsdale or Tempe," he tells me as we approach a mailbox. What feels like a very strong kick really tells me that I think I'm getting a contraction.
He keeps walking after I stopped at the mailbox to just grip something. "Cody."
He doesn't turn back. "Cody," I say a little louder but still nothing.
"Oh my god, ow, ow, ow. Cody!" I say, finally getting his attention.
He turns back to me, "Oh my god, Luna, what do you need?"
"You need to call Christian and tell him that he needs to get into the car and come pick me up because my water broke and I'm getting really strong contractions and to bring a towel."
"Okay, okay, okay. Just sit tight and breathe."
I lean against Cody, gripping his free arm as he gets Christian on the phone.
"Christian? Hey, um, yeah, so, her water just broke and she's having a pretty strong contraction right now. Man, is she strong," he says before I intervene.
"Cody, you're not helping," I tell him.
"Sorry, um we're halfway around the block and you need to bring a towel now."