It was so agonizing sitting in one position for long. My back hurt like crazy. I inhaled sharply as I shifted on my bed in hunt of trivial comfort. I felt so sick already sitting in a closed room for so many days that I had lost the count. I got up only to sense so much weight on my stomach.
It was growing unpredictably every day and the mass I felt on my belly was always heavier than the previous day. I stared at it for long still unable to believe that I was really pregnant. I sighed in tiredness only to sit on the couch and rubbing my increasing belly. I felt so emotional already thinking about the little life growing inside me.
I was beyond doubt going to be a mommy. I coughed and reached for the bottle of warm water placed at the end of the table in front of me. I missed sugar daddy so much. I couldn't stop thinking of ways to elope away. But, then I was terrified about how he was going to react to my pregnancy. I was apprehensive if he didn't accept me. I was frightened if he doubted me.
The fretfulness in my heart rose at the thought of him not wanting me anymore or not wanting my child. I was sure that it was his. Not truly but my gut said that! I was optimistic that Levi's condom didn't break. I pulled my hair in agitation. Why did I have to be such a hoe? Why did I have to sleep with him?
Weeping between those four walls only made the sound resonate and signify how lonely I was. I thought that bitch maid would help me but she didn't even listen to me. I drew my legs closer and hung my head low. I couldn't help but memorize the times when sugar daddy actually talked to me. I cried that I didn't even accomplish his demand when he asked me for butt fuck.
I closed my eyes in search of peace which I found shortly.
A small smile planted on his lips as he stared at me running toward him. He extended his hands wide as I reached him to engulf me into his tight hug. I was delighted to inhale his soothing cologne. He pecked my hair and then we stared at the beautiful sunset.
The view was beautiful, so serene to eyes. I loved watching sunsets with him. He kissed my ear and draped his strong arms around my waist. I looked at him resting his head on my shoulder. He stared at the serene beach.
"Would you like to go for a swim?" I asked.
He looked at me with a frown but then smiled an adorable smile. His hands travelled back to the strings of my bikini top and a little gasp left my lips when it came undone. I looked at him in surprise but he just pulled me closer and erased the space between our lips. I smiled when his hands intertwined with mine and then together we walked inside the water.
"Come, Eri!" He smiled as he swam farther from me. He had my bikini top tied on his wrist.
I kept staring at the beautiful view still occupied with his thoughts. He called my name again asking me to come inside the water but I was so occupied with the beautiful scene.
When I tore my eyes I didn't find him anywhere. I turned to look around. He was nowhere. My heart almost stopped beating when I saw my bikini top floating in the sea. I just couldn't move, not even my head. My legs started trembling as tears rolled down my eyes. With much effort, I ran toward the sea calling his name, hoping he would respond but he didn't.
"Aoran!" I yelled looking around for him but he was nowhere in view and the view was different too which didn't sit well my psyche.
I was going insane not finding him. He was right here with me a few seconds ago and then he wasn't. "Aoran!" I cried, getting up and looking around for him. My voice kept rising as anxiety and fretfulness filled my veins. Where was he?
I heard some noise behind me and I turned around in hope I would find him but instead, I found a woman running toward me. She stopped right in front of me and cupped my face which baffled me. Her face was adorned in concern as she forced me to sit.
"What are you doing? Where is my Aoran?" I yelled trying to push her away.
"Shush! Your dad will hear you." She said. I looked at her face and it looked so familiar. "Dad?" I mumbled. When did he start living with us? "Did you see my Aoran? He drowned!" I cried in horror. I didn't want to lose him. I just couldn't lose him. All I had was him.
"Ursula!" The woman yelled shaking my arms which got my attention. "Ursula?" I frowned. "I'm not Ursula." I told her and tried to get up but she very well tried to push me back to sit.
"Stop it, Ursula!" She yelled at me. I frowned looking at the worried look she gave me and rubbed my arms. "I told you that I am not Ursula." I looked at her and pushed her arm away. "I am Erin Williams." I told her. The look on her face changed from worry to horror.
She got up and shook her head as she mumbled something under her breath. "You started this Erin Williams drama again. God! How did I forget about your medicines?" She looked so worried which I couldn't comprehend why!
I got up and attempted to go toward the door but she stopped me. "Where are you going?" She asked.
"To the beach. My fiancé is there." I told her.
"What are you speaking? Shut up, Ursula!" She yelled at me.
Her calling me Ursula, again and again, irked me. "I am Erin!" I yelled at her. She shook her head and reached for the jar of water placed on the table and soon I was totally drenched. The cold water dripped down my skin causing goosebumps to erupt.
I looked around to figure what just happened and I saw my momma looking at me with a big frown. "Momma!" I mumbled, still confused as to why she threw water over me.
I looked at her and saw her eyes watering up. She soon sat on my bed with her face between her hands as she sobbed. "Momma! What happened? Why are you crying?" I asked sitting beside her and shivering as the cool air from AC hit my skin.
She shook her head and wiped her tears before pulling me into a hug. "I'm so sorry. I forgot about your medicines." She mumbled as she rubbed my back. I pulled away and looked at her crying face. "What did I do?" I asked.
"The same old thing. I am not Ursula. I am Erin." She mimicked me.
"Erin?" I asked in confusion.
She nodded her head which again ringed the Reincarnation Blues book in my head. I wanted to accept that I was Erin but the sane part of me asked, how? It was not possible in reality. It was fictional. It just wasn't possible.
"Who is this Erin? Huh? I'm sick of hearing this name for years now." She mumbled.
"For years?" It confused me even more. It had just been months since I discovered this name. How could she be sick of hearing Erin's name for years?
"I'm calling your doctor tommorow." She said with a sigh. "And take a shower. You can't afford to fall sick in such condition." She warned. I nodded my head subconsciously. I walked to the bathroom subconsciously thinking about what my mother said and all the possibilities.
It only made me think of my sugar daddy and how I missed him. I l had to go to him. Anyhow! I came out of the shower and wore an orange maxi dress which my mother had bought me a few days ago as most of my clothes were running small. I looked at my reflection in the mirror after days. I looked so pale and tired. My eyes looked so sullen even after sleeping all day.
A small smile formed on my lips as I looked at the comb that one of my ex-boyfriends had gifted me. It was a comb knife. How did I not see it before?
Picking up my hair drier I dried my long hair and then tied it into a long braid. My hair had grown a little reaching my mid-thighs. It needed trimming. I applied a thick coat of moisturizer on my dry skin and put on my lip balm. My flip flops were not in view. I picked up an old pair of flip flops which were initially loose for me and now they fitted me perfectly.
With a smile on my face, I laid down on my bed and waited till my dinner was served. Soon, the maid opened the small window and passed in my meal. "What's at dinner?" I asked her. The bitch didn't even reply and left. I shook my head and asked her to come back after dinner to give my feet massage.
I had my dinner and then the maid came back with hot oil and massaged my feet. I reached for the comb and pulled out the knife from it and hid it beneath the sheets. She was so occupied in what she was doing.
"That's it." I pulled away my feet and sat upright. She got up and picked up the bowl of oil and I quickly wore my flip flops and got up. When she turned around I pushed her hard which made her fall flat on the floor. A big scream left her mouth. I knew she'd be fine so I ignored her and rushed out of the room.
I inhaled sharply and quickly climbed down the flight of stairs. I looked around the hall to find my parents looking at me; my father's gaze was fixed at my belly while my mother looked horrified as she looked at my father.
"Ursula! What are you doing here?" She got up and tried coming near me.
"Stop! Don't come to me." I warned her and placed the knife on my wrist.
"Let me go or I'll kill myself." I threatened her. Her eyes were fixed at the knife and soon the panic started showing on her face. "Is she pregnant?" My dad caught her attention.
"I am." I replied to him with a bright smile.
"Ursa put it away!" Momma tried to step nearer.
"Stop!" I had no choice anymore but to take advantage of her soft heart. I ran the sharp knife over my wrist lightly drawing a minor cut on it. As soon as the blood oozed out of it my mother lost it. She started breathing so hard. "Ursa, no! Give it to me, honey." She cried. She shook her head with tears in her eyes.
"I need my phone and passport." I smiled at her drawing the cut deeper.
"Stop it, Ursa!" My dad yelled and came near me in big steps.
"No! Do not come near me." I yelled laying another cut on my arm.
"Ulrich! Don't provoke her." Momma yelled at dad and pulled him by arm. "Put that knife away." She looked at the blood that was dripped off my wrist. "Nobody is going to stop you. You want your phone and passport, I'll get it." She said in a shaky voice.
"What are you saying, Susan?" Dad yelled. He looked so angry as he eyed me from head to toe. "Shut up, Ulrich! Do you like seeing her hurting?" She looked at the blood and pointed at it. "Look at it. If something happens to her, I swear, I'll kill myself too." She said. I felt so bad for always upsetting her. I felt bad for taking advantage of her but I told myself I'd make up for that in future.
"Put it away, my baby. I'm bringing your stuff." She said and rushed to her room. My dad eyed me so angrily especially my bump. He just looked so unhappy. I returned his glare with equal anger. I hated him for captivating me.
Momma came back with my handbag, and a thick bandage dipped in disinfectant. "Show it to me." She tried to come near me, still intimidated that I would hurt myself. The wound wasn't deep. "Please!" She pleaded. I held the knife tightly on my other hand and extended my left hand for her to examine.
She looked relieved as she looked at it and wiped away the wound with disinfectant. I winced as it burnt. "What was the need to do it when it hurts so much?" She scolded and draped the bandage around it quickly. She then handed me my passport.
"Your phone is inside the bag." She said and gave me a thick warm coat. "It'll be cold there. Call me once you reach." She said stepping away from me.
"Don't ever come back!" My dad said to me with an emotionless face before almost dragging momma with him. She looked back and smiled at me through tears in her eyes.
I stood there for a few minutes. I was hurting my parents so much. I felt so low already for making momma cry so much. I was constantly hurting her. I unzipped my handbag to stumble on my things inside. I saw a chunky bundle of dollar bills which momma had placed inside and my cellphone. Tears rolled down my eyes as I turned around and rushed out of the house.
I took a cab and bought a flight ticket to New York. The flight was on the next day. I decided to travel to Mackay and stay at a hotel there. I couldn't risk if my parents searched for me and took me with them. They were really unpredictable. I tried calling my sugar daddy but the network was really poor and I decided to go and see him in person.
***To Be Continued***
She escaped. What do you think will happen next?
Comment your theories.