More Reverse Batfam Trash

Clash of the Dads

"Well you've certainly known them before Batgirl." The man replied with certainty. "Bruce and his oldest kid, uh..."

"Damian?"

"Right, they babysat you occasionally, even before it became a near-daily occurrence."

The girl frowned. "Oh... I remember that a little... How young was I?"

"About six I think." The commissioner reminisced on his daughter's childhood with some melancholy; she'd grown a lot.

Barbara bopped her eyebrows under her blue-light-censoring-glasses. "Wild..."

Both Gordons looked up as there was a knock on the doorframe.

"Come on in." The elder sighed, standing up to greet Bruce.

Great. Barbara couldn't help but roll her eyes back, then she actually looked at her bat-dad and noticed her youngest bat-brother dragging his feet into the office. 
Look, she loved Dickie to bits, but he was such a little shit sometimes! The issue being, she was supposed to be his babysitter, so she couldn't tell him how annoying he was as long as they were in front of her non-bat-dad.

"Barbara, I didn't know you'd be here."

"He arrested me. I don't have my bus card to post bail." She snarked, straightening up. She had to think through how to act around Dick. Usually she'd just shout 'what's up loser', or something along that, but not now. "Hey Dick, what are you doin' here?"

"I can't leave, like you." He grumbled.

"I just got done at a Wayne Industries meeting, and Dick came along since the others aren't around the Manor." Bruce explained.

Barbara frowned. "Is Jay still not back yet?" She quickly realized that it wouldn't be a great look to tell the police commissioner that Bruce's son had skipped town for an indefinite amount of time. "How long is that camping trip?" She covered her bases quickly.

"Just another week." Bruce said, hoping that was true. 

"So it's just you at home, huh?" She asked Dick. He frowned back at her. He preferred the Barbara who called him names and teased him relentlessly, over this watered down, babysitter Barbara.

"Yeah." He muttered. "Kinda lonely." Honestly, that was the tip of the iceberg. Bruce was already getting some empty nest syndrome, and really wanted Dick to stay as his baby forever. This meant being coddled as Dick Grayson, and incessantly micromanaged as Robin. He wanted Jason to come back so much!

Barbara closed her laptop, leaning over closer to Dick's height. "Do you want to go out to the breakroom during this super boring meeting?"

Dick rolled his eyes at the tone she was using, but felt Bruce shoot him a warning look. "Yeah, okay." He agreed and let her lead the way out. 

"What's up shortstack?" She asked as soon as they were out of earshot.

"Not much." Dick told her, letting himself get snarky again. "But you're mature and responsible act back there almost made me puke."

"What? My dad needs to believe that I really am you're babysitter." She told him. "Then again, with Bruce dragging you along to board meetings, it looks like you do."

"Please." He huffed. "Bruce is just being the WORST! He won't let me do anything for myself! Yesterday he literally drove me go home from work and made me go to bed at like ten-thirty!"

"Oh the humanity!" The Redhead scoffed. "Well, here's the depressing break room."

Dick flopped down on a chair with wobbly legs. "Is there nothing fun in here?"

"We could play with the people in the holding cells." Barbara suggested. "But they're mostly just in for public intoxication, destruction of property, and stalking offences."

"Nah." Dick said. "The fun criminals are the dangerous ones! Remember when we fought Penguin in an umbrella store? That was hilarious!"

"He didn't know which umbrella was his!" Barbara finished, grinning at the memory.

"Yeah! And Tim had to search ALL of them to find the weapon!" The two laughed at the memory of Tim coming home at the break of dawn after spending four hours finding the lethal Umbrella, catching the attention of a few passers by.

"We should shut up about work." Barbara told him. "How's school treating you?"

"Bad." Dick grumbled. "I have to sneak away to do bat-stuff, and PE is the worst!" He whined. "I'm always sore from patrol, and we have to do..." He trailed off, embarrassed.

"What?" Barbara laughed.

"Y'know." He muttered. "That unit you have to do in December..."

"You mean Square dancing?" She laughed. "Is that what you're all pink about?" Dick shook out his head, he was blushing like crazy. "Don't need to get embarrassed about it!"

"I'm not!" Dick protested

"Dick, you're getting to that age where physical contact with other people your age can really...."

"STOP!" Dick sunk so low in the uncomfortable chair that he was practically lying down, hands covering his face. "PLEASE."

"Hey bud, puberty's coming, it's about to get SO much worse." She reminded, cherishing the boy's deep discomfort. God, this was so much better than being a normal babysitter!

"STOP." The boy pleaded.

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The kids scrambled to act normal as their dads came out to find them. Barbrara stooped to pick up the playing cards all over the floor. They'd gotten into a brutal fight mid crazy eights game.

"Hey! I was just teaching him to throw cards." Barbara explained to her bio dad, shoving the cards back in their holder.

Dick leapt up. "Can we go to lunch now?"

"Sure thing, since you've been so patient." Bruce agreed, resting a hand of his youngest's head. Dick quickly shook it off, did Bruce have to do this in public? "say, are you two free? We can go out, my treat."

Gordon Sr. shook his head. "Sorry Bruce, I  already took my break earlier."

"I'd come! I'm starving!" Barbara contradicted. Her father probably thought that was rude, but dammit, Bruce was her dad too, and she would let him feed her.

"Alright then, I'll take the two of you out... Barbara, I can drop you at home if you want, or you could come..."

"I'll come back to the manor." She finished the invitation, earning a slightly embarrassed look from her bio dad, who probably thought she was being super rude. 

"Here, Barbara." Her father slid a card from his wallet. "Pay for lunch."

Barbara agreed superficially, but there was no way she wasn't letting a literal Billionaire pay for everything. "Thanks... I'll text you updates on where I am."

"Thank you. Have a good time sweetie." Her dad told her. "Bye Bruce." 

"Bye!" 

The three emerged from the building an the redheaded girl dropped it completely. She was part of the Wayne clan by now. "Let's go to white spot."

"A&W!" Dick disagreed.

"White spot cause they have dessert!" She argued, pushing the boy with her elbow as they strode down the sidewalk. "Alright. So, who's broken out of Arkham lately?"