More Reverse Batfam Trash

Hetero (Birdflash Angst)

-THIS WAS REQUESTED BY SOMEONE, BUT IDK WHO!!! if YOU REQUESTED SPITFIRE/BIRDFLASH ANGST PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN TAG YOU!!!-

"D'yall mind?" Dick asked. "I don't know which of you has herpes, but you're going to give it to the other."

"Ha Ha." Wally rolled his eyes, pulling his lips off his girlfriend's for a minute.

"You have herpes?" Artemis asked.

"No, you?"

"No." 

They went back to sucking face. 

Dick popped in an earbud and went back to staring at his phone. In reality, his earbuds were dead, and his phone was almost dead, he just didn't want to stare at his friends kissing.

It was gross! Wally and Artemis acted completely different now that they were dating, you'd think that they would suffocate if they weren't locking lips every second of the day!

I mean Artemis could do better, she could do so much better! Why was she suddenly swooning over a guy she'd been waring with for months! they didn't even have any chemistry! Surely there was someone out there who she'd like? Someone she could be friends with before dating? She and Wally just didn't seem to mesh!

She deserved better.

And then there was Wally. Dick didn't want to think about Wally. Wally was his best friend, he should be happy for him, but why did Wally like her? Artemis and Wally didn't have half the chemistry Wally had with Dick... or any of the others for that matter!

Okay, there were other things that Dick objected to there, but the thing is, his other complaints were more subjective.

He loved Wally West.

Yeah, and Wally loved him too, they were good friends, but Dick Loved  Wally West. He didn't want to touch on his adolescent sexual wants. Besides, fantasizing about your friend was weird. But no, it wasn't just that, he wanted to spend his life with Wally West. He loved Wally West.

And Wally West loved Artemis Crock.

And Dick really couldn't change that, much as he wanted to. He wanted to get his friends out of what seemed like a poorly founded relationship, but he also wanted Wally West. He didn't want to come between them, but it was clear this was all going to end in tears.

Dick stood up, not bothering to pluck out an earbud. He couldn't stay here any longer, this must be how Kaldur feels back home. "I'm gonna head back to Gotham." He headed out, not really listening  to what anyone was saying. 

He arrived at the cave and headed upstairs. He was pretty sure that no one was home, except  Alfred. But Dick was the youngest, so Alfred and Bruce were burnt out by the other three, and usually let him do his thing.

The boy kicked upstairs to his room. He wasn't going to cry, he'd already done that too much, he was just going to listen to his depressing comfort songs. He hadn't even broken up with anyone. Wally was straight. He was just... so hung up on the dream world he'd built for himself.

Dick swallowed down the lump in his throat, hard, and put on some music. His Blutooth earbuds were dead, and he wasn't really listening anyways, so he lay face-down on his mattress, and tried not to think. Because the more he thought, the more he realized how dumb he was hoping that by sitting around and swooning over a straight boy, Wally would spontaneously ask him out.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Damian was just on his way to get a charger, when he heard Dick in his bedroom. He thought Dick was supposed to be at the mountain. 

He leaned on the door and found it unlocked, Dick was lying on his bed, music playing from his cell phone at pitiful volumes.

Damian stood there for a moment, waiting for Dick to notice him, but he didn't, so he began slowly crossing the room. He got to Dick's bedside without being acknowledged.

"What's wrong?"

Dick jumped. Quite the feat for someone lying down on their stomach.

"Damian." He scrambled upright. "What?"

"What's wrong?"

"I -I don't... why are you in here? Is something wrong?"

"Is something wrong with you?" Damian repeated. "You look sick."

Dick quickly raised a hand and rubbed his eye. "No, I'm fine. Thanks."

"So why are you so upset?" His brother asked. "And who did it?"

Dick shook his head and paused his music. "It's nothing you could help with. I don't need anyone beaten shitless."

"So... what is it?" Damian frowned. What could upset Dick where there wasn't one person directly at fault for him to beat up?

"Nothing." Dick tried. Damian gripped his arm. "OKAY! It's just that Wally and Artemis started dating, and the mountain sucks now!"

Damian was admittedly a little confused. "So you're upset because your friend's dating someone?" That was a bit trivial, wasn't it?

"Yes." Dick said, and he would have left it there, but some combination of his emotional state, and inability to shut the hell up, kept him going. "I mean, no."

"No?"

"It's just." Dick groaned, face sinking into his hands. "I want to date Wally."

WELL THERE YOU GO! Dick hadn't come out to anyone yet, and there was his big mouth ruining everything! God, he was such an idiot. An even bigger idiot for spending the past three years swooning over a guy who flirted with every female he saw.

"Oh." Damian said.

Dick wanted to scream. Why did he tell him?! It wasn't as bad as Telling Wally, at least. Wally would ghost him, if not have a real confrontation. Wally wouldn't want to be friend who had a life-ruining gay crush on him. He would be so uncomfortable and weirded out!

"Yeah." Dick said, voice squeaky.

"Wait, so you like the West boy..." Damian started, just trying to work out the logistics of this.

"Yes."

"And he's dating the Archer girl?"

"Uh huh."

Damian frowned. "I thought He was sceezing on the Martian."

"That was BEFORE New years!"

"But wasn't the arrow girl going after Superboy?"

"BEFORE NEW YEARS! M'gann and Conner are a couple, and so are Wally and Artemis."

Damian thought this over for a second. "And the Atlantean, and the other two girls?"

"Kaldur and Raquel aren't together, and  Zatanna wants me... I think." Dick sniffed.

Damian nodded, he didn't know who any of those people were. "And West is dating the Archer girl."

"YES!" Dick shouted impatiently, digging his fists into the mattress. "And they have to be kissing every second! and they keep talking all gross and lovey-dovey in front of everyone, and it's... GROSS!" He shouted. "And they're SO not right for each other! They aren't even friends!"

Damian didn't know what to do besides beat the shit out of Dick's team. "Do you want-"

"No, Dami! Don't hurt them!" He cried. "...It wouldn't fix anything."

At a loss for how to proceed, Damian sat on the edge of Dick's bed and tried to be reassuring. "Do you want Water?"

"I'm fine."

"I'm getting you water."