Black and White

Chapter 46 Tough Decisions

Jessica's pov

After finishing the exam, I headed out of the exam hall. I stretched myself and turned to go to my dorm. I was confident about my exam. I went back to the dorm and sat down on my bed. The semester was ending. We all had to go home and I couldn't see Dan for the next few weeks. My life felt incomplete without him. I thought about it for some time and then got an idea. I would try to talk to him before I went home. I got up and headed down. My stomach grumbled. I had not eaten in the morning but now I was starving. I walked to Dan's dorm and asked one of them to check if he was up. Few minutes later, the guy came down and told me that Dan was not in the dorm. I thanked him and started walking. I checked in the exam hall and the cafeteria. I looked for him in the academic building and the sport courts but he was nowhere to be seen. I was walking away from the courts when I saw Dan. My face lit up at the sight of him but turned downwards almost immediately. He was there with a girl. They were laughing and talking. I felt jealous but I knew he had all the rights to dump me after what I had done to him. I turned around and headed towards the cafeteria. I ordered sausages and bacon and sat on one of the corner seats. Joy and Suzy were still giving their exam and Natalie was nowhere to be seen. I sat alone regretting throwing Dan a party. Everything was going fine between us until I threw that stupid party for him. I buried my face in my hands. I felt horrible. Tears were about to come out when I heard giggling in the background. I turned around and saw Dan and the girl I had seen before. They looked happy together. My eyes went to the locket dangling from my neck. It was the necklace Dan had given me when he had proposed. I opened it and placed it in the middle of the table. I finally got up from my chair and walked towards Dan's table. He didn't notice me at first but then slowly turned his head around. I placed the locket on his table and walked away. After I had my breakfast, I rushed out of the cafeteria. My mind was a mess and I didn't know where I was going. I walked around the school with eyes full of tears. The next morning the results were out so everybody was crowding around the notice board. I jumped up and down trying to see my results. There were so many people that I gave up jumping and sat on a stair. After the crowd mostly had cleared up, I went to see my score. I had come second in the freshman class. I was proud of myself. My eyes glanced over to mine and Dan's picture side by side showing the top three. We looked great together but I knew that was never going to happen again. I shaked those thoughts out of my head and went back to the dorm. The dorm looked mostly empty as it was the end of the semester and all of the seniors had already left. The freshmen were packing their things up so I decided to do the same. I was excited to see my parents after such a long time. I kept on wondering what Dan must have done with the necklace. I thought that he must have thrown it or kept it as a souvenir of his first girlfriend. I was happy that I was his first girlfriend but I wanted to be his only girlfriend. I sighed and headed to my room. I saw Natalie packing up and as she looked at me, she turned the other way around. I felt sorry and angry at the same time. I tried to console myself that it was not my fault that her crush likes me but at the same time, I felt guilty for taking away her happiness. I started to pack up my belongings and fold the blankets. Joy and Suzy came in humming. They must have noticed the atmosphere so they stopped all of a sudden. They came to me and asked me my rank. I answered that I had come second from the entire freshman year. Their faces lit up as they started jumping up and down. Joy and Suzy were almost like twins. Although their faces didn't look alot alike, they still acted like each other. I giggled and asked them theirs. They were in the twentieth and the twenty- third which was not too bad considering so many people. I asked Natalie what she had come and she answered that she was eleventh. Natalie's father was very strict with grades and I knew he was gonna get angry when he got to know that she was not in the top ten. I didn't talk any further and kept on with my packing. All four of us headed out to celebrate the end of our freshmen year. It felt so unrealistic about how fast the year had gone. At the end, we were still together but our minds were apart. I sighed as I ate my dinner while the rest of them talked and giggled. I was still thinking about Dan. He had become such a big part of my life that it was hard to forget him so fast. I carried on with my dinner and after that we all went to get some ice-cream. Joy had brought her camera with her and we clicked many pictures together. We all smiled for the camera while posing with our ice-creams. It felt great but something felt missing. A very important part of my life was not there. Dan was not there with me.