Ranjhana (A Royal Saga)✔ (Completed)

Sad, confused, tensed!!

Ch - 36

Sidharth move outside the palace quickly by saying mahi that he is out for some important work of estate. He drive to a place which is only belongs to him because he is the one who find out this place for alone time. No one knows about this, its a beautiful place inside the forests not so deep one.

Sidharth sit in front of a fountain which is fall from a small hill and meet into the river, cold wind which touches his body sending chills to spine. The greenery of the trees, grasses beautiful butterflies and fireflies everywhere. Its almost give you the feel like heaven.

The place is in the middle of jaipur and raighar. Sidharth found this place in childhood at 17, once he unfortunately come to far in his cycle and enter inside the forest. Since then he come here whenever feels sad, confused or tensed.

But today he feels every emotion together, sad on himself for again lost  control in front of shehnaaz. After decided to make a proper distance from her, why he again ended up going more close to her.

Yes he did several night stands in all this years just to divert his mind from jogiya but nothing works. But he can't even think like this for shehnaaz, no never he will use her for his own distraction.

She is naive, innocent and he have to protect her from everything. Her life is his responsibility now and he will take care of her in every possible way he can.

But he is confused about one thing, in all this years he tried to take her out from his mind but she always place her home inside his heart. Even he saw her blurry in every dream, where she wearing white suit, singing the song, sound of her anklets was echoing in his ears. And as soon as he going to touch her she vanished.

But since very first the day sana come in his life, he never saw that dream again. Nor he think about jogiya for once before today. Everytime sana roaming in his mind, but don't know why? And how can this possible?

No one can take place of jogiya in his heart but then why whenever he try to remember her  shehnaaz's face comes in front of his eyes. And today when neel said that he is not compatible for her, why he feels like breaking his own friends jaw. He is so damn confused.

Tensed because he promises sana in the morning that nothing will happen again, but ended up kissing her. Somewhere he also feel bad, rejected when he didn't reciprocate back. But right now he don't want to give air to those feelings.

He is sacred facing her, what will he say to her? Why he did this? And what if she making wrong assumptions about all this and start thinking that they are like normal married couples. No.... he can't let her think like that, because it's not the truth.

In frustation he punched on the stone with his same injured hand, squeezed eyes in irritation, he thinks to talk to shehnaaz, clear every thing. Just the way he does with sanjeeda and told her that don't keep any expectations with him.

He open his eyes in jerk when jay's words start poking on his mind, "let shehnaaz date anyone else." He punches one more time in anger because the mere thought of imagine her with someone else causes anger rushed inside his veins.

But as always he gave this possessiveness , the name of protectiveness. And decided to tell her everything same except the dating part. Also not going to tell her anything about jogiya.