Love & Hate and Friends & Lovers (Zouis/Larry)

31. Diary

I slowly stretch my body and blink my eyes a couple of times, adjusting to the light. The smell of sweet tobacco and vanilla dominates the air. I feel quite sick and the smell doesn’t particular help me with the nausea. The smell is familiar but it’s definitely not the way my room smells. Also my bed never felt so small. I look around me to recognize where I am.

Bloody hell. I’m at Zayn’s house, on the couch in the living room. Only he is nowhere to be seen. I also don’t see or hear his parents or sisters.

Oh god. I suddenly realize what happened yesterday. After our perfect beginning of the date we ran into his friends. I hated that I had to pretend that I was just a friend. I certainly didn’t feel like I belonged there. It was just painful and awkward. And since I’m not good with awkward situations I decided to drink away my sorrow. I drank until I was completely wasted. And afterwards I puked in the middle of the streets. Zayn was furious with me, but apparently not angry enough to leave me alone in my vomiting state. Instead he must have dragged me to his house and let me sleep on his couch. I don’t even want to know what his parents have to say, seeing Zayn’s ‘friend’ lying almost unconsciously on their couch, breath reeking of alcohol. My parents would only shake their heads disapprovingly, but I don’t think Zayn’s parents will be so nonchalant about this. They probably think I’m this extremely bad influence on Zayn. Fuck. 

But, where the fuck is everyone? Are they all still asleep? I look at my phone and see that it’s already past noon. Oh shit, it's a school day and here I am in Zayn's house. Did Zayn really leave me here and went to school? I need to go to his room to find out.

I have no missed calls or texts from Hazza. Dammit. I do however have 3 missed calls from my mother and 2 texts:

How is it? When will you be home? X

ANSWER ME TOMLINSON!

Oops. I totally forgot to text or call my mother. Truthfully, I probably wasn’t even able to text. I quickly text her back that everything is fine and I’ll be home soon. 

I try to stand up and suddenly the room starts to spin, giving me a splitting headache. I need food in my stomach; I need some energy after I puked everything out.

With careful steps I walk to the kitchen; the smell of the vanilla scent growing even stronger. I’m just going to eat something very quickly and quietly walk upstairs to Zayn’s room. And hope to god that I don’t see anyone.

I open a cabinet above the stove. There are all these kinds of herbs which I’ve never heard of and I wouldn’t even know how to pronounce. I open another cabinet and luckily find a role of biscuits. It’s already open so I don’t think they would mind if I’ll take a few biscuits.

The biscuits taste old and disgusting; reluctantly I shove a few biscuits in my mouth.

As silently as possible, on my tiptoes, I maneuver around the room. I’m just a few steps away from the door when it suddenly opens. I’m startled and my heart drops. “Fuck,” I hiss under my breath as I take a few step back.

The moment Zayn’s mother walks inside the room I want to say fuck again, but luckily I can hold it in.

“Louis,” she nods.

“Hi,” I shriek.

“Why don’t you sit down again?” she asks me nicely, but demanding.

I quickly nod and swallow nervously. Dammit, where is Zayn?

I walk towards the couch and sit down again. Zayn’s mother sits down on the opposite side, staring at me with a look I don’t really understand.