Love & Hate and Friends & Lovers (Zouis/Larry)

14. Outsider

I walk towards the cafeteria, looking for Zayn. When I see him he smiles and waves at me. I walk to him, well more like running.

I’m almost there and I stumble and fall into his arms.

“Looking elegant.”He grins.

I shrug with a playful smile. I really don’t give a damn about the fact that it looked stupid. I also don’t give a fuck about all the students and teachers that gape at us. Seriously? Don’t they have anything better to do?

It has been over a week since 'the cheek kiss' and people are still gossiping about us. I’ve heard some nasty comments from ‘faggot’ till ‘you infected Zayn’ or people who just laugh at us, but never, not once have I heard something positive. That would really bug me if I would give a fuck about these people. I don’t, so I don’t care.

To be honest, I’ve never felt so good at school since the beginning of the school year. This year was just terrible. I felt alone and I felt like I could cry or burst out in anger any moment.

Right now, seeing Zayn, all I can do is smile.

The last week has passed like a blur. I feel like the only thing I have done this week is cuddle and talk with Hazza and kissing, touching and arguing with Zayn. The week was just so perfect, well mostly. When I’m with Hazza I’m thinking about Zayn. I know how much Zayn hates my relationship with Hazza, so every time we cuddle and give each other a little kiss on the cheek, I feel ashamed of my actions. In contrast, every time I’m with Zayn I’m thinking of Hazza. I feel guilty for lying to me best friend, my everything. The person that is always there for me.

Seriously, I’m so messed up.

Besides, Zayn and I still haven’t had ‘the talk’. I still don’t know where we stand after everything that happened. Sometimes I really try to talk to him but then I see his face and all I want is to touch and kiss it. His beauty amazes me and even though it sounds really pathetic it seriously is the biggest distraction. Not only his face, but the whole way he looks. From his perfect styled hair (that is ruffled at the end of our make-out session and looks so freaking adorable) to his slender fingers that gently touch my body. And not only does his outside amaze me, so does his personality. Although most of the time we argue, kiss and make-out, but whenever we do talk he astonish me with his sweet and funny personality.

Zayn takes my hand and strokes it. Despite the fact that it has been only a little more than a week, the touch already feels so familiar, but new and exciting at the same time and I feel myself respond to his touches.

Whenever he touches me, even so lightly as now, I want to grab him and kiss him. I try to hold my eagerness in. I can’t do that in the middle of the cafeteria. If only we were alone…

“Instead of lunch, how about a nice walk?” I ask suggestively.

He nods and together we walk outside. I try to ignore the hateful comments as I take Zayn’s hand in mine.

When the school is out of our sight we sit down on a bench.

“You don’t mind all those stupid people?” I ask. I don’t care (or at least I try not to care) about those comments, however I don’t really know how Zayn feels about it.

“I don’t care, it’s not like they are friends of mine or anything.”

“What about Matt?”

“Matt?” He laughs. “That kid annoyed the hell out of me, but I just didn’t want to sit alone so I pretended that I liked him.”

I nod understandingly. The thing is when I started this school year I was so upset to sit alone again. I absolutely hated it, so I understand his action. Even though I thought Zayn was liked by the rest of the class and I thought that they wanted to sit next to him. Apparently it’s not completely like that. I misjudged him.
“I know it’s stupid.” He sighs.