Love & Hate and Friends & Lovers (Zouis/Larry)

28. Bitch

I’m on my way to Emma aka Bitch. When we talked on the phone she insisted that I would come over as soon as possible to tell her about Zayn. I was so happy with the way she reacted, I wanted to tell her all the amazing things about Zayn. I was so freaking ecstatic that I was stupid enough to believe that even Hazza and Zayn could get along. I was in such a good mood that I thought it was a good idea (no, I even thought it was a great idea) for them to meet. I thought nothing could go wrong. I desperately wanted the two persons I love so dearly to like each other, get to know each other. But I was just fucking stupid.

The moment they saw each other it was clear that they didn’t like each other. In that instant I knew and I felt something was wrong. The whole encounter was just awful and immensely uncomfortable. They didn’t even make an effort to ask one another about each other, instead they begin arguing the minute I was gone.

It made me so fucking exhausted and angry that I didn’t want to speak to them. Clearly, they also didn’t want to speak to me. Both of them didn’t call or text that day and I was too pissed off to care.

The next day I felt slightly better. The biggest anger and disappointment was gone. I realized that maybe I was too optimistic, maybe I expected too much of them. That realization made it a little bit better. I came to the conclusion that they probably have to get used to each other. Get used to being part of each other’s life.

Or at least, that is what I utterly hoped. It was the only thing that made me feel like things would be okay. It was the only thing that kept me from worrying what to do.

With that hope in mind I went to school. Zayn tried to be his normal self by greeting me with a kiss and having his hand on my thigh, but something was off. His posture seemed tense. And every time I tried to ask him about yesterday and asked what they argued about, he just shushed me. He said that he wanted to pay attention. It was crystal clear to me that he just wanted to avoid the conversation. He didn’t want to tell me what happened yesterday or how he felt about it. It annoyed me so freaking much.

I’m not used to the silent treatment from Zayn. Normally whenever something happens he opens his mouth. We argue. We fight. We make up. We make out. That is our thing. But all of a sudden he didn’t want to talk.

When school finished I decided to go home, alone. Zayn seemed upset about it, but didn’t say anything. I just needed some time alone and more importantly I needed to speak with Hazza.

I called Hazza, expecting him to tell me what happened. But surprisingly he also gave me the silent treatment and didn’t tell me what they argued about. It pissed me off, because I could tell that something was bothering him. Just as with Zayn. I’m not even sure why I pushed him to tell me what happened. I assumed I didn’t even want to know the real answer, since it probably would only make things worse. However, I kept pushing. It was like a part of me needed to know what happened. It seemed like I was searching for the drama, as if I needed it to live. 

“Fuck Hazza.” I said. “Just fucking tell me what you think.” I demanded.

“It wouldn’t matter.” He said in response.

“Why the fuck wouldn’t it matter?” I asked with clear irritation in my voice, not understanding what he meant.

“I don’t know.” He said vaguely.

“Haz, out with it.”

After a lot of persuasion on my side he finally said something honest.

“I hated it okay?” He said with much desperation.

“Okay.” I breathed out, at least thankful for his honesty. “Why?”

“What do you mean?”