Love & Hate and Friends & Lovers (Zouis/Larry)

18. Awakenings

AN: Finally an update! I was really busy and somehow writing this chapter didn't go so easy =( but I do hope you like it, because I really tried making something of it.

Please vote and comment! I really want to hear what you guys think and having more reads, votes and comments makes me more eager/motivated to write. Oh and on that note I really want to thank the people that read, vote and comment on my story. I really appreciate it and I'm really happy about it!

From now on I'll dedicate a chapter to someone who makes me smile and motivates me to write! And the first will be for Munii, because that was the first person to read and comment on this story and basically motivated me to keep writing!

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“AWAKENINGS HERE WE COME!” Hazza and I scream in unison. With our arms hooked we skip past Liam and Bitch.

“See you soon! BYE!” We yell hysterically, pumped with adrenaline. Because we have VIP-tickets we have a different entry. As a VIP-guest at Awakenings we have the best places in the areas, get each two free drinks, a T-shirt and a gift-bag! I’m so freaking excited! I’ll eagerly take everything I can get, except the great places. We always go with our group of friends and always try to stick together.

Hazza and I stand in line to show our tickets. Seriously, a line for the VIP entrance? What’s VIP about that? And where is the champagne?

As I look in front of us there is a couple licking each other’s faces off. It’s truly disgusting how they lick more like dogs than actual human beings. At the same time, I can totally understand it. If you like someone so much, you just want to touch and kiss that person whenever you can.

My mind automatically drifts off to Zayn. I really, really like Zayn. So much that I want to lick his face just as much as the couple in front of me. And maybe I want to lick even more than his face. I want to be with him and I want to stay with him.

I look over at my right and I sigh. Hazza smiles at me, his widest smile which is only reserved for me. He leans down to give a kiss on my temple. My lovely Haz arranged VIP-tickets for Awakenings and here I am thinking of Zayn! I need to stop this, I need to do something about all of this.

My father basically accused me of having two relationships (okay he didn't actually say those exact words, but that is how he made me feel). I already blamed myself for this mess and he only made it harder for me. I blame myself because I also have questions, just like my father did. I was probably so furious because I understood him.

I know that Zayn is still suspicious about me and Hazza and he doesn’t even know how Hazza and I really interact with each other. Zayn doesn’t know how Hazza and I touch each other. If he knew, he would probably freak out. And just like my father he would think that I am in a relationship with Hazza. But am I in a relationship with him? We might act like we do, but we are not. Right? I’m so confused about all of this, but I do know how I feel about Zayn and about Hazza.

I know I’m in love with Zayn and that I want to be with him. He makes me feel so alive and good. I am in love with him and I long for him. I can’t truly describe how me makes me feel, but most of the times it’s just so amazing. It’s such an amazing feeling.

But at the same time there is Hazza. I know the way I interact with Hazza isn’t quite normal for other people. People don’t understand how we can act and be around each other and just be friends. But they don’t get that Harry isn’t just a friend for me. Like I said before, he is truly my everything. I can’t live without him. I don’t think that I’m in love with Hazza, because I’ve already been there. I might be still in love with Hazza, but it is more than that. It’s another, a deeper, level of love.