Chapter 37: Shattered Glass

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Friday 6th April 2015

Step 1: Clothes

Most of mine don't fit me anymore and, maybe, if I move away from the black, people will think that I'm less edgy, less scary. So I'll ask the girls on my very first high school girls' Saturday shopping trip if they wouldn't mind helping me.  

'What size are you?' Lorna asks, scanning through the hangers. She seems very excited by the new project and eagerly takes charge. 

'A six I think.' I reply, fiddling with the sleeves of my leather jacket. 

'Try this. I think it would be cute.' Alice remarks, handing me a pink pinafore and a grey top. 

'Thanks.' I smile nervously as Lorna and Grace throw more clothes onto the pile. Eventually, they lead me to the changing rooms, pushing me in eagerly. 

I look at the piles of ripped jeans and skirts, pastel pinafores and stripy jumpers. 'Ok, let's see how this goes.' I sigh to myself. 

'She's gonna look so cute.' I hear them whisper.

I pull on the jumper, immediately liking the colour, and easily slip on the jeans. I hop out to show the expectant girls. 

'I like that. Burgundy suits you.' Grace smiles. 

'Do you think we could get these jeans in a smaller size?' I say hesitantly. 'They're a little loose.'

'Skinny bitch.' Alice scoffs. 'Hand them over, I'll see what I can find.'

'I like this.' I say, emerging in the pink pinafore. The girls agree. 

My arms are slowly weighted down with bags as we move from shop to shop. Dad leant me his card so money's not a problem, not that Kate's a billionaire. I find several new outfits that the girls like, not to mention some new boots, earrings and perfumes. Luckily, I'm allowed to keep my leather jacket for parties because it looks good for that kinda thing but I've been told exactly what to pair it with so I don't get mistaken for being neurotic.

Step 2: Make up

Time to fix the pale skin, dark eyes and hide that ugly scar. 

Alice takes lead here, knowing the most about make up. She stripes my wrist with maroon, scarlet and raspberry until she finds one she's happy with.  

I have some make up at home but I never really wore it excessively, only for parties... and a funeral. I mostly stick with waterproof mascara and concealer from day to day. Alice is taking it up a step up with eyeliners and eyebrow pencils, blushes and highlighters. 

'What colour are your eyes?' She asks. For some reason the girls look at me expectantly. 

I laugh awkwardly. 'Em hazel with a flecks of green?' 

'Huh, I always through they were dark brown.' Grace clucks.

'I thought they were black.' Lorna says, Alice nods in agreement. 

I stare at my eyes in the shop mirror. The girls are right, they do look really dark. How have I not noticed that? 'We'll go dark brown.' I smile like nothing's wrong. 

Alice starts the line testing again and I'm beginning to wonder how much space on my wrist is actually left. 

'Lorna, what do you think of this gold?' She asks. 

'Gold?' My breath hitches. 

'Yeah, it matches the brown. And it has a hint of green too which will compliment your skin.'

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