DESK MATES ✔|SOPE|Yoonseok

30. Nothing

Jimin didn't love him anymore.

He didn't fantasize about Taehyung's lips on his as he fell asleep, or the way his soothing voice sent pleasant chills throughout his entire being. He didn't even think about how satisfactory it felt to have Taehyung call out his name in bed, strings of praises laced between moans of pleasure. For once in his life, he felt liberated.

It was a strange feeling, falling out of love. He wasn't exactly sure when it had happened, but he figured it was probably around sometime after he'd left Taehyung's house that night. It was like his body couldn't take it anymore; the constant feeling of being rejected, of feeling worthless. Before he could even let himself break down, his soul had completely given up, his eyes refusing to shed tears.  The constant pain he'd been feeling in his chest slowly vanished into thin air, leaving him with a much more pleasurable feeling of nothing.

Nothing was a beautiful feeling, one he enjoyed very much. It was his favorite feeling, even better than having Taehyung inside of him.

Jimin wondered how long he could avoid Taehyung until Hoseok noticed. He was leaning against his locker, staring at a chain of unread text messages he'd sent him and a smirk creeping across his face. He didn't plan on replying to a single one of them. 

Earlier that morning, he'd woken up to the sound of one text message after the other, his phone going off at the speed of light. Taehyung desperately needed to talk to him, but Jimin didn't give a fuck. He'd sat up against his pillows, pulling out one of the many boxes of matches he kept within his bedside table. He poured them out onto his lap, selecting one at random and rolling it between his fingers. He then struck it harshly against the surface, his whole room illuminating and the scent of wood filling the air.

Today marked the first day he would return to school as loveless. He admired the flame in his hands, watching as the flickering light danced across the walls. Jimin had always been fascinated by fire, the warm light somehow soothing in a way he couldn't quite describe. This wasn't the first time he'd sat back and done this either; in fact, he did it almost every day. Then, with one swift breath, he'd killed the flame, the room slowly fading back to darkness.

It was strange how love was just like fire. It burned brighter than anything he'd ever felt before, the flame constantly growing stronger and stronger to the point where it nearly killed him. And then, with a single breath, it was gone for good.

He hoped it never returned.

Taehyung and Hoseok were waiting impatiently for him to join them at their usual lunch spot, but Jimin had other plans. He took a deep breath, leaning his head back against his lockers and closing his eyes. His mind was a blur again, the familiar feeling of static enveloping him. When he let his eyes flutter open, he saw an empty school hallway, but it didn't seem real. 

Why didn't anything feel real anymore?

Suddenly, Jimin pushed himself off, walking quickly to a place he hadn't visited in ages-- the student council room. Standing against the lockers was boring anyways, and he needed entertainment. When he got to the door, he turned the door knob abruptly, the entire room turning to stare at him, but he was only looking at four people in particular.

He walked himself over to where they sat, a smile lighting up his face when he saw them looking at him as well. All four of them had stopped eating, glaring at him with confused expressions.

"Hello, Jimin," Namjoon said, tilting his head to the side. "What brings you here?"

Normally, Jimin hated Namjoon's perfect silver hair and his disgustingly cute dimples that appeared every time he smiled. Today, he found them rather attractive. He had to admit,  Taehyung really did have good taste when it came to men. It was too bad Namjoon seemed to be taken, as Kim Seokjin was leaning his head against his shoulder, his arms wrapped around him like his own property. He wondered if Taehyung was aware of this fact. If he wasn't, Jimin didn't care enough anymore to bother telling him.