Facade Of Perfectionism

Chapter 42~Slipping Worlds Underneath

Trigger Warning: The followed chapter contains sensitive themes like physical abuse and harassment which could be triggering for some readers. If you are uncomfortable at any point, I would advise you to stop reading and skip the contents.

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There she sat, at the stairs of the vestibule leading towards the entrance; her knees brought up near her chin, her hands encased around them as she rocked back and forth.

I sat beside her and remained silent. I didn't know what to say to her. Should I console her? Or confront her? I didn't know.

“What is it that you have and I don't?” She blurted out of the blue, taking me by surprise. I turned towards her to find her jeans soaked with tears.

“Quinn-”

“Why am I never enough?” By this point, it was more like she was talking to herself, and I decided to listen.

“I try so hard, I do everything that I can, to just be enough. But I am never the one. First my dad and now Shawn.”

“Your dad?” I broke my code of silence.

“He left when I was six. He had another family and another two-year-old daughter. I tried to be the perfect daughter but apparently, she was better than I was so he chose them. I haven't seen him since. Maybe I am the problem.”

“Quinn, look at me. It's not your fault, okay? It's not your fault that he missed out on raising such an amazing daughter. Don't beat yourself up because of it.”

“I don't have a good record with the boyfriend department either. I am not delusional, Maya. I knew Shawn and I was never a thing. But boy how much I badly wanted to believe that we were. I thought saying it out repeatedly would somehow make it sound real and maybe, just maybe, someday it would be true.”

“That kind of  makes zero sense.”

“Maybe.” She finally turned to look at me, “I am sorry for calling you skank.” She pressed her lips into a thin straight line.

“I'm sorry for calling you...annoying.”

“Yeah, that makes me feel a lot better.” She chuckled, shaking her head, and I joined.

~

“What did you two talk about?” Shawn asked as we drove back to our house.

“Oh, nothing, just some girl's talk.” I tried to be as vague as possible.

“Do I even want to know?” His lips curved into a small smirk as his sight never left the road.

“Believe me, you don't.” 

“As long as you both did not kill each other, I'm okay.” 

I looked out of the window, an eerie feeling slowly creeping inside of me. It was one of those days where I felt restless, with no specific reason whatsoever. One that made me apprehensive, continuously whacking me that something wasn't right.

I tried to overlook it, replacing it with the good events that happened today. Meeting Chloe, watching them both happy and free, knowing about Chloe's apparent ‘first boyfriend’ and resolution with Quinn. Well, sort of. It had been a pretty good day.

Shawn pulled over, bringing me back to reality. I got off the seat and noticed my Mom spraying pesticides on the plants.

“Someone is in a greenery mood today.” I chirped as I walked towards her. She raised and turned towards me, welcoming me with a bright smile.