Facade Of Perfectionism

Chapter 32~ Spark the Flames

We seek life to get a little easier after moving past a hurdle, either losing something valuable on the way or healing ourselves a bit more in the process.

The entire human existence seeks for one thing. They wake up every morning, running behind and working endlessly, hoping to acquire it at some point. Peace. The sighing peace after long working hours, the peace that tags along soon after the assignments and homework is complete, the peace that settles inside the mind of a mother as soon as her child walk in through the door at 2 in the morning safe and sound, and the peace that resides while looking at the antiques passed by your grandfather. It's all the same at the end of the day.

And then there is one thing that people desperately want to keep away. Hurt. It is that dangerous weapon that holds the power to slash you into pieces. It pains you to a point until you feel nothing. Unconditional numbness, that slowly creeps you into a black hole of absolute nothingness and immense darkness. One that could effortlessly push an optimistic soul into deranged anguish by just accomplishing one simple trick.

But you know the irony of it all? We all encounter a certain single, for whom we are willing to endure all that pain and suffering that the person brings, with a smile, willing to climb the highest mountain and travel the seven seas, just for their sake.

The guy that stood in front of me was one among those crazy heads. It probably had been a few seconds, but standing with him that way felt like hours, peace settling through every single nerve inside my skin.

Our breathings were ragged, synchronized. Neither of us dared to open our eyes and calculate the distance between us, which was as close as non-existence.

He gently leaned forward and I had my eyes screwed shut. After an anticipatory moment, I felt his lips pecking at the tip of my nose, shortly followed by the gentlest kiss on my forehead, making me lose a few beats. His lips lingered on my forehead for a few moments, and I didn't object.

As soon as he withdrew his lips, I found my arms snaking around his neck and snuggling under his embrace. The comforting feeling intensified when he hugged me back even tighter.

I stood that way for a long time, enjoying the moment of pure bliss. All my unsettling intrusive thoughts vanished into thin air at that moment. Nothing else mattered, other than him and I.

“You shouldn't have left. We would have figured it out together.” He softly whispered.

“I thought it was the best thing to do. Dragging you into my mess would have been very unfair to you.” I said, still holding him tight.

“That doesn't even make sense, Maya.”

“It does. Relationships require certain objectives to accomplish. It needs love, compatibility, companionship, communication, respect, emotional support, and also physical intimacy. It is one of the important parts of a healthy relationship. And I just… I couldn't give it to you, and that would have been unfair to you, Shawn. I would have felt that I am… limiting your choices? And that I'm preventing you from basic human needs.”

“Out of all the points you mentioned, that is the thing you wear your brain out?” I raised my head and watched a playful smile etched on his face.

I narrowed my eyes at him, implying that he wasn't helping.

“I don't even care about those kinds of stuff, Maya. I actually don't even need physical intimacy to express my feelings and what you mean to me, Maya. You being here with me is more than enough, more than anything ever could be.” He stated simply as if it was the most natural thing to say.

Is it just me or does he really have his way with words?

This man is determined to get me a heart attack by making me skip beats.