Facade Of Perfectionism

Chapter 27~ Wicked Tricks

There are times where we feel like we are at the top of the world, everything around us seems to be working just the way we plan it. And then, there are times where we feel our existence is nothing more than just a mere formality that doesn't seem to serve any purpose. It feels like all of the stars have gathered to plot against you.

Today was one of those times.

After my "mind refreshing" session with my therapist, all I needed was a handful of sour vodkas down my throat. I know, I know it must be weird to imagine me doing shots. Alcohol and Maya? Not exactly a lethal combination. But hey! Don't judge me. People change with time. People need to change with time. That's the only way to keep ourselves moving forward in order to keep with this changing world.

I still don't drink. Well, not on a regular basis. But there are some fine days, as such, when nothing else helps other than booze to clear up my messy brain.

But kudos to my luck, my regular sanctuary, Swift Bar, was closed for the evening. I turned up to seven more bars but no luck. Finally, after walking on my heels for about two hours, my feet landed at a bar, named Aurora Bar, and stopped in front of the gate. I stared at the white building for quite a moment. The bar was located on the outskirts of the city, far away from my home. I hadn't heard of this place. I hadn't been there before, but something about that place made me feel at home and put my soul to ease. 

Sometimes we find a place, a spot, that connects us to the place in the best unimaginable way possible, and that happens to become our safe place. Perhaps, this was meant to be my safe place.

I pushed the door wide open and quietly made my way straight to the bar counter. The place was dimmed light with disco balls, bobbies of colors glimmering down everywhere. The bar was loud, music blasting and people swaying their hips at the beat and flow of the blasting music, few of them drowning themselves in an endless sea of fizziness.

“One Martini, please,” I screamed at the top of my voice so that the bartender could hear me clearly and slid my credit card towards him. He shot a cheeky smile and said, “Sure, coming right up beautiful.” and winked before turning back at the wine stack.  I hid my smile and checked out the guy for a nanosecond. He had a tall and lean physique and his fresh blonde hair slightly danced as he moved and did his job. He was kind of cute if I had to admit, but I knew in my head that it’s not a click. I turned around and watched people, having a good time. The bartender pushed the glass and offered a smile. I mumbled a thank you and turned around, matching my vibe with the place. 

A group of loud, giggling voices caught my attention amidst the blasting music. My sight directed towards the origin and encountered a group of around five to six people, chattering and laughing hard, together. From what I could figure, the girls ganged up and were messing with one of the guy friends and the other guy friends called the shots and refused to back him up, laughing and high-fiving. A sharp slap of nostalgia hit me as the sight brought up the realization of how much I missed my pack. My weirdos. I took out my phone and mindlessly scrolled through all the endless texts they had been sending me for the past one and a half years, when eventually before a few weeks, they stopped.  I knew it was wrong of me but I couldn’t help but wonder if they forgot about me and let me go for good. Did they not need me any longer? I shook my head, there was no one else to blame but myself, I did this to myself. And I’ll simply have to live with the repercussions. 

“Are you lost, baby?” A random guy asked, walking up to me. I looked at him with judging eyes, after which he readily apologized. “ I am sorry. I saw you standing alone and you were so beautiful, I had to talk to you so I quickly picked up the lamest pickup line.” I laughed instantly and said, “No worries. You are forgiven.” and took a sip of my drink.