Facade Of Perfectionism

Chapter 26~ World's a Messed up Place

I took a seat on the black sofa as Sophia shuffled through some of her patients' files that rested on the glass desk. The interior gleamed a soothing and relaxing vibe, various shaped ceramics held by the cupboards on the wall.

"How are you this morning, Maya?" Her welcoming voice chirped as she walked towards me. Something about her held an immediate comfortness that held the power to put a restless mind at ease.

"I'm good. Thanks for asking."

The rest she said was creased into a blur. The morning light shone brightly through the glass fronts of the office. The faint tiny dust particles floating in the air illuminated by the permitted white sunshine through the blinds captured my attention.

Sometimes, all we need is to get lost in nothingness only to find ourselves, again. We tend to escape our reality by creating an alternate universe in our mind, an alternate life where we are free of all bounds that tie us and hold us back in our existing life. A room where we are perfect in our own flaws and imperfections, a life we always imagine laying under the sheets of a warm bed at night. A space where we are happy.

Escaping into our in-built fantasized life is so much easier than facing the choking reality. From what it seemed, the most important step to rediscover ourselves is to get out of the comfortable illusion and confront the real, unpleasant world.

And it seemed I wasn't ready for it. Not yet.

"Maya? Are you there?" Her voice pulled me back from my never-ending mindless thoughts.

"Huh? What'd you say?"

"I asked, are you with me, Maya?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I am." I released a sigh of comfort.

"So... Shall we begin?" She stretched her arm, gesturing for a confirmation and I nod. "So Maya... How do you feel?"

"I-uh... I feel good. Yeah, I feel good. Awesome, actually. I talked to my mom the other day and it's going great."

"That's nice to hear. How do you feel your life had changed after you arrived in Boston?

"It's good. Life is good. I found people who are angels. It was the best decision."

"Do you think mimicking my words will grow the same feeling inside you by just, mimicking it?" She raised an eyebrow, challenging to see what new excuse I would come up with, today.

"Ah, what do you want me to say? It's pretty much the same. I don't feel anything like you've told me. I don't know if I'm happy here because I don't fucking know!"

I regretted my words instantly as they escaped my traitorous lips.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't use that language. It's just... I'm just stressed okay." I squeezed my eyes shut in exasperation.

"It is absolutely fine. You are expressing yourself. You are showing signs of frustration, some sort of feelings. I believe that's an improvement."

Very helpful, doc.

"So Maya, tell me about what made you leave high school and come here, all the way around?" She began to question her rehearsed sentences that she wrote down on her notepad months ago.

"Umm... There isn't any "specific" reason as to why I did that. I just... did."

"Hmm... Did you not like your high school?"

I raised my brow at her incredulously.

"Who does actually? Secretly, we all hate it but not everyone admits it. I hated high school from the core of my soul."