Facade Of Perfectionism

Chapter 34~Pillar of Strength

Shawn P.O.V

The last two days were… eventful. I didn't have a chance to catch my thoughts amidst the speed of the last two days. I was now laying down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, clutching my phone in my hand after ending the call with Maya and calling it a night.

I let my memory meander over the recollection of the events, interpreting my feelings over it.

When I stepped into the therapist's office, an edgy sensation unraveled inside me. I couldn't deduce how I was going to get the explanations to all my questions in there. Maya sat next to me, the distance between us barely measurable. Her bare skin grazed mine and an electrifying sensation shivered down on me. I cursed my uncontained emotions for letting loose.

The moment she began to narrate the mishap that was her life, I felt my heart stop beating for a moment. A numbness blanketed me. As she went on, without taking a pause, I simply stared at her, feeling my heart break a little more; moment by moment. I couldn't believe my ears. This must be some sort of a joke. I secretly prayed to myself.

The moment I realized it wasn't, an unbearable rage urged inside of me. I was angry. Scratch that, I was furious. The names struck me familiar and after pondering for a few moments, it hit me. They were the same ‘cousins’ we met during the New Year's Party. She was worked up, agitated, frightened even. I assumed they had bad blood but now knowing the actual reason behind it, I needed nothing more than to beat the living life out of them.

Evermore than the rage, I felt an emotion overpowering all others. Hurt. Hurt for the girl that sat right in front of me, who had been through hell worse than unimaginable pain yet she sat there, unmoved as he dug out the deeper graves.

I was left in awe for most of the time. My brain didn't want to process the information just revealed, out of denial. She suddenly grew quiet, looking out of the window. The moment I processed the last statements, that's where I got it, all of it. The answers.

I couldn't believe she would think that about us. My heart argued that she wasn't wrong from where she was coming from, considering the secrets just revealed, on the other hand, my mind argued against it.

That wasn't her decision to make if I wanted to be dragged into the mess, not that there is in the first place. I couldn't hold it against her anymore for running away. My heart and mind unanimously approved that she wasn't wrong in doing so, regardless of how wrong it was.

A sudden contact on my legs caught me out of my thoughts, and I looked up at Maya, motioning us that it was time to leave. I got up and bid my goodbye to Sophia and headed towards the door when Sophia called me from behind.

“Shawn, would you mind if I talk to you for a minute?”

I stared at her in surprise for a moment before finally nodding and turning to Maya.

“You go ahead. I'll meet you outside.” I said and walked towards Sophia.

She mumbled something that I quite didn't catch. I didn't put a lot of thought into it either and heard the door slamming back.

She motioned me to take a seat and I did.

She fiddled her pen between her fingers and ran through her notepad before finally beginning, “I generally don't disclose my private sessions of my clients with anyone but I have to make an exception.”

I adjusted my composure, waiting for her to go on. Isn't that a tad bit unprofessional? The thought crossed my mind but I pushed it aside.

“Maya had been coming over here and not once was she willing to talk about her past. She would occasionally provide a few bits but that was it. I knew there was more to it.”