It All Started With A Deal

Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve
Athena started violently coughing on her own saliva as she sprung up. "What?" She barely managed to get out.

My face remains stoic, not a single expression present on my face as I stared blankly up at the ceiling.

"You what?" Athena's eyes practically bulged out of her head.

"I have feelings for Liam," I replied bluntly.

She squeaked, like a mouse, "I heard you the first time,"

I remained quiet, desperately trying not to think.

I hadn't even admitted that to myself.

I had feelings for Liam.

I broke rule number one on the contract.

I had feelings for the one guy I wasn't supposed to.

I had feelings for my pretend boyfriend.

I'm so screwed.

"But," Athena started, "But you can't?"

The thoughts started racing in. "I know," I whispered.
I rubbed my face, "I know,"

Her lips curved up, "This is so exciting!"

I snapped, "Exciting? Exciting. This isn't exciting it's stupid," I sat up to face her.

She frowned. "Why? What's so bad about it? You two would be cute together,"

"Because he doesn't like me! He liked Tara, I'm not supposed to like him. It was literally rule number one."

"How do you know? How do you know he doesn't like you? I've seen the way he looks at you,"

"That's how he's supposed to look at me. It's his entire job," my breathing quickened, "I messed up," I clutched my head.

I couldn't like Liam. I couldn't. All it was going to end was with me hurt.

"Just tell him how you feel,"

Says the girl who pined after Sam for years, never once making a move.

"I can't,"

"What not?"

"Because!" She stared at me expectantly. "Because, what if he doesn't like me back? What if he ends the whole relationship and never talks to me again? Okay? I've seen those people on tv who are in a happy relationship and once it ends, they spiral out of control. I mean what if I tell him how I feel and he doesn't feel the same and I'm left so heartbroken that I become an alcoholic. Or worse, a drug addict. I mean what if I'm left completely broken and I turn out just like my birth parents? I mean I'm already not going to college.
I'm heading down their path,"

I couldn't breath, my chest tight and constructed.

Athena grabbed my hands, "Hey, hey. That's a lot of what if's." Her voice was soft and compassionate, "How about this: what if you got a scholarship and a part time job? What if you managed to pay your way through college? What if you became such a success that you could afford to put Chase through college and he made some of the greatest friends you could ever imagine?

What if you never picked up a pill and stayed completely clean for that reason: the fear of turning out like your birth parents?

What if the only time you ever drank at your bachelorette party, or mine? Or on your twenty first birthday? Or when you're giving the toast at my wedding?

What if Liam really liked you? What if you told him how you felt and the two of you started dating for real?

What if you turned eighteen, moved out of that horrid house and into an apartment with me, went to college, got a job, got married, had kids? What if you got everything you have ever wanted in life?"