More Reverse Batfam Trash

Our Weird Step-Brother Isn't Even Human

"Stop." Conner requested. "Please, I'm his clone."

"Then you're probably into kinky domination too."

"JASON!" Tim clutched his hands over Dick's ears as the boy tried to pull them off.

"What? We were all thinking it!"

"NO WE WERE NOT."

Damian, who was currently cringing into his hands, spoke up. "Can we set this aside until we aren't here?"

"Why? Are we embarrassing you?" Jason smiled smugly.

Damian pulled his face out of his hands. "No, because Kent senior also has super hearing."

They all froze, except Dick, who was still trying to get Tim to let go. He finally succeeded. "What happened? What'd Jay-Jay say?"

"Nothing of value." Damian opened the menu and put it in his little brother's lap. "Pick what you want."

Dick looked up shyly behind the huge menu. "Can you order for me?"

"Of course."

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No one talked much over dinner, except Dick, who needed constant reminders that he was supposed to be eating. See, Dick thought Conner was cool, and really wanted Conner to think that he was cool too.

The brothers were all pretty good at tuning out the youngest's babbling at this point, but Conner was always caught off guard by his overt friendliness. "Dick, quit bothering Conner. " Tim reminded. 

"But-"

"And eat, or else you're going to get grumpy and hungry in, like, an hour." Tim turned to Conner. "Sorry about that."

"It's okay." Conner wasn't used to being talked at by a child, but Dick was a child, so he wasn't offended or annoyed or anything. The brothers just ignored the kid and acted as though his talking was completely unreasonable, but Conner didn't mind the attention and admiration the kid gave off. There weren't many people that gave Conner attention. "What grade are you in?" He asked Dick.

Dick got super excited that Conner talked back and asked about him. "I'm in first grade. But-I just started, and my birthday is late. And-but others are older because their birthdays are earlier in the year." He explained. 

"Dickie, food."

The boy shoved another couple spoonfuls of food in his mouth, eager to keep talking.

"Grade one? " Conner asked the other fifteen year old. "What are his stats?"

"Mathematics: simple addition and subtraction, 5/10. English: level one easy reader books. 3/10." Tim replied. "Strength is low, 3/10 perhaps, but his determination is high. Luck is probably 6/10."

Conner nodded a little, that was a little easier to get. "What do when we're done with Dinner?"

"Go our separate ways if we're lucky." Damian replied.

"If we're lucky?"

"Unless our fathers go home together." He explained, disgusted. 

Conner was equally opposed to the idea. "Then what? We all go back to the manor?"

"and be in the same place where our parents are having sex upstairs?" Damian asked. "I have my own car. We'll go back to your residence."

Tim nodded. "We always bring an emergency kit incase Bruce brings anyone home. It contains a change of clothes for each of us, meds, an old Wii and a DVD of the Princess Bride for entertainment."

"It happens more than you'd expect." Jason added.

"What's The Princess Bride?" Dick asked.

"A movie." Tim explained lightly. He turned back to Conner. "So if the worst happens, we're breaking into Clark's apartment for the night, because the team doesn't know about Dickie or Dami yet."

"We don't have to break in, He keeps a key on the inside of the mail slot." Conner answered casually."

"What? But he has SUPER STRENGTH!" Jason exclaimed.

"I guess he got tired of replacing the hinges."

"Are we going to hang out after this?" Dick asked them, almost done his dinner now.

Jason looked across the semi-crowded restaurant just in time to see Clark lean across the table and plant a kiss on the playboy's cheek. "Almost definitely."

-The SELF RESTRAINT I had, not naming this part "WhAt ArE yOu DoInG sTeP-BrO"-

-Unrelated, but which of the following sounds most interesting?-

1) Robins as girls

2) Bruce Wayne as Woman

3) Generally genderswapped world

4) One or more characters are turned into different genders