Counting Minutes | Gay MxM |

63. Happiness

I peered at Blake, and realized he had been pretty quiet for the entire morning, and I immediately forgot all about everything else. He looked troubled, which made me feel worried again.

"Are you all right?" I asked quietly, and he looked up at me like he was surprised to see me there.

"I'm good," he smiled, but it was lacking his usual cheeriness.

"You're worried," I murmured.

He looked like he was about to say no, but then he took a deep breath. "A little, but mostly I'm just nervous."

"To be honest, so am I, but I know that it will be all right. We're in this together," I smiled at him, reaching across the table to take his hand in mine.

"Yes," he said, squeezing my hand gently. "I suppose I'll need to go talk to your mom today."

I nodded slowly, the idea I had earlier popping up in my head again. I felt like I shouldn't bring it up now, not when he was trying to deal with his own things. I already decided against telling him, but he gave me a reason to reconsider.

"I don't know..." he breathed out, shaking his head. "I don't think I'm still ready to think about it..."

"Well..." I started carefully, instantly gaining his attention. "If you want something else to think about...?"

"I'm all ears," he said in curiosity.

"Well... I mean... There's this one thing I'd want to do..." I spoke hesitantly.

"Yes...?"

"I... Want to go see my mom... In her room," I said, feeling excited and nervous at the same time.

He stared at me for a moment. It was clear he hadn't expected that. "That really would give me something else to think about," he then chuckled.

"Do you think it's a stupid idea?" I asked carefully, and he immediately shook his head.

"Not at all, if you want to do that, then we should try it," he smiled.

I squinted my eyes at him in suspicion. "You always ask if I'm sure whatever I suggest these things."

"I have finally learned that when you say you want to do something, you are ready to do it," he explained. "Like last night. You wanted to have a bath, so you took a bath. I haven't even realized how demoralizing it can be to have someone constantly questioning your decisions."

"I haven't seen it that way," I told him reassuringly. "But I am happy, nonetheless."

He nodded and kissed the back of my hand. "So, we're doing it?"

"Yes," I smiled, the excitement taking over the nervousness. "I want to see her face when she steps into her study and we're there."

"She will definitely be surprised, and happy," Blake smirked. "And I already know there's going to be a lot of crying involved."

"Definitely," I chuckled.

*****

I tried not to think about going to see my mom too much. I feared it would drive into a panic and I wouldn't be able to leave my room after all. I gave most of my attention to Blake, who definitely needed it. I was not used to see him so nervous, and no matter how hard I tried, it affected me as well, but I didn't blame him at all. Anyone would be nervous in his shoes.

We had a lot of time to kill, but eventually, it was about time for us to start moving. Mom would be home in half an hour, so we had plenty of time to get down into her office, even if walking down the stairs would prove difficult for me.