26. To Be Held

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 -Blake-

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 -Blake-


I lost track of time while living with the Simmons'. I had no idea what day it was when I woke up that morning since my days were exactly the same. I spent every day sitting right outside of Jordan's door, waiting patiently while he tried to come closer to me. Sometimes he came close enough to touch my hands, and sometimes he was too exhausted to even get off his couch.

Sometimes I woke up early in the morning but didn't get out of bed. I just sat there, staring out of the window for hours, letting my mind wander. When it was time for me to start working, I had to force my eyes off the city.

I would never leave Jordan. It was out of the question. I was falling in love, but sometimes the walls were too close, and the roof over my head seemed like it was going to fall down on me. I had given away my freedom, but Jordan was worth it. Besides, I'd been spending a lot of time indoors, so I assumed that was why I felt claustrophobic sometimes. Whenever I was with Jordan, those thoughts and feelings vanished, so I didn't pay much attention to it.

Once I was done with my morning rituals, I climbed up to the third floor and sat down next to my desk to wait for Jordan to open his door. I had finished arranging Mrs. Simmons' paperwork almost a week ago, so now I was doing the same for Mr. Simmons.

I waited patiently until the door opened. Then, I got up from my seat and walked towards it, but instead of opening it all the way, I put my hand on the other side of the door, in case Jordan was still standing right behind it.

It didn't take long until I felt a soft touch against the back of my hand. I started to smile when Jordan intertwined our fingers. He had come a long way already. This time he hadn't even hesitated longer than a few seconds before touching me. He was still nervous about looking at me, but it was clearly getting easier for him.

"Good morning, sweetie. Did you sleep well?" I asked.

"I did. And you?" Jordan spoke quietly, and his voice sounded relaxed.

"Yeah," I said.

There was silence between us. We just wanted to enjoy the closeness, because it was a rare treat for us. Talking would only distract us, and we had plenty of time to talk later.

Too soon it was time for Jordan to go make breakfast for himself. I didn't want to let go of his hand. I really had started to hate time. Sometimes I wished that I could just beg Jordan to stay with me, but it would ruin everything if I did that. I just had to be patient.

Luckily, patience was one of my good qualities, so when Jordan let go of my hand, I held back my sigh and wished Jordan a good day, before I started working on the big pile of papers. When I sat down on my chair, I looked out of the only window the small hallway had. It was snowing already. I shivered when I remembered that without the Simmons family, I would be sleeping outside.

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