43. Christmas

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-Jordan-

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-Jordan-


I woke up just before six on Christmas morning. I took a moment to enjoy the warmth of my bed while my mind was waking up, and once I was fully awake, I opened my eyes. The only thing I saw was the gray wall of my bedroom, and I could feel the familiar knot of fear inside me.

What if Blake was just a dream? What if it never happened?

And then I heard the sound of his heavy breathing, and I relaxed again, scolding myself for still fearing the worst even after all this time. It just wasn't easy to trust reality.

I turned around as quietly as I could so I wouldn't wake him up. He was lying on his side, facing me and hugging his pillow with a content expression on his face. I placed my hand carefully on his cheek. A few months ago, I couldn't even consider doing that... I still couldn't believe it was actually possible for me to do after such a short time. And still, I had the nerve to get frustrated at myself for not being able to do certain things. Why couldn't I just enjoy the small victories...?

Not all of them were even small. Having Blake in my bed was a huge one. I didn't even have trouble sleeping anymore like I did during the first nights. I had gotten used to his presence eventually, and now I dreaded the thought of not having him there, right next to me.

I caressed his cheek slowly, smiling like an idiot. He truly was a gift... It seemed like I had gotten my Christmas gift early this year. I smiled at that thought. I hoped he would like the gift I got for him. It had been surprisingly hard to think of a gift for him, so I decided to get him something useful.

Soon, Blake started waking up, and I watched him struggle to get his eyes open. Once he did, he smiled, wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a hug.

"Good morning," I whispered.

"Morning..." he muttered in my ear. "What time is it?"

"Eleven minutes past six," I told him after peering over his shoulder at my clock.

"Awesome," he murmured.

"Why is that awesome?" I chuckled.

"Cuddling..." he breathed out in a singing voice.

I felt happy little shivers going through me when I leaned in to award him with a kiss.

Was there a better way to start my day than cuddling with him? I didn't even need to think about it – there just wasn't anything better than this. I wished we had more time to stay in bed... I didn't look at the clock because I didn't want to know how many minutes we had left. I wanted hours. Hours and hours and hours...

"Mmmm... Merry Christmas to me..." Blake purred after we broke our kiss. I pulled back to see his lazy smile, and he placed his hand on my cheek.

"So you're warming up to Christmas?" I asked, and he laughed lightly.

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