42. Never Enough

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-Blake-

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-Blake-


I had to admit that this family was good at getting me to warm up to Christmas. I didn't hate it, but for me, it had always been a holiday I couldn't have. I never had friends or family to spend it with, or even a home to decorate, so I distanced myself from it early on.

But now I could finally let myself enjoy the holidays. I didn't stop wearing the red sweater Julia gave me. For one, it was really warm, and two, it always made Jordan smile when he saw it. And I kind of liked it actually.

Jordan was pretty happy about Christmas as well. We spent the evenings making more Christmas decorations with clay. It was really fun. I was bad at sculpting, but I didn't let that stop me! I made tiny snowmen and tiny Christmas gifts and tiny wreaths and tiny piles of Christmas balls and tiny penises – although Jordan refused to let me bake them. Jordan had made tiny houses and reindeers and even Santa Claus – show-off – and once they were all painted and put in their places, we had a tiny Christmas village on the table in the living room.

But the best part about those two weeks was that now I got to sleep in Jordan's bed every single night, holding him in my arms. It never stopped to amaze me how easy it was for him to snuggle close to me, and he never got uncomfortable with having my arms around him. Sometimes things got a bit heated up under the covers, and it was usually his fault. He was getting handsy, and he sure loved teasing me.

During the day, Jordan followed his daily plan without trying to push his limits much. His mother did come talk to him face-to-face at least once a day, and everything was going really well. Jordan was getting used to her faster than any of us could've ever imagined.

Even his father wanted to talk to him a few times. Their first phone call was awkward as hell in the beginning. It was clear that John was ashamed of not contacting his only son in months, but by the time they ended the call, we all were crying our eyes out. Even I couldn't stay unaffected listening to that broken man begging for Jordan's forgiveness, and Jordan telling him everything was all right and he didn't hate him at all. The second time was much smoother, and I could tell John was really happy to speak with Jordan.

The atmosphere in the house was changing steadily. I could almost feel the hope growing stronger with each passing day. And... for the first time in my life I felt like my life had actual meaning. I meant something to these people. My existence had a purpose now. I never even realized how empty my life had been – not until now.

And I definitely loved staying in this trap.

The morning of Christmas Eve arrived, and I was lying under the cozy covers of Jordan's bed, being teased by him once again.

"I want to touch it," Jordan said quietly.

I started laughing and turned my back on him. "No!"

"Why not?" Jordan asked, crawling right behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder. "Please?"

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