All This Time // H.S. // A.U.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

RILEY

As much as I tried to tell myself I wasn't interested, I found myself watching him closely. We only talked if it was related to our senior project, but my eyes often studied him from afar. He looked like shit. The bags under his eyes intensified as the next week progressed, his hair was even more unruly than usual, and he seemed to close in on himself. I could count the number of times I had seen him actually talk to someone on one hand. In a week.

My stupid heart told me to reach out to him, but I knew I couldn't. Not just for pride's sake, but because I knew he wouldn't want it. He was the only one that could help himself, at this point.

I was surprised to see him at a party on Saturday. My friends forced me to go out after the last football game Friday night, and I didn't see him anywhere, so I thought maybe he was avoiding that too. But here he was, on the other side of the living room, leaning against the wall with a drink in his hand. He looked like he was miserable. I don't even think he was actually drinking anything, just holding it to avoid the peer pressure of drinking.

Shaking my head, I looked away, and tried to focus back in on my friend's conversation. They were talking about the upcoming winter break. We still had three weeks left, but when their parents took them on trips to the Swiss Alps or lodges in upstate New York, I could understand why they would be excited.

"I think we're just staying here. My dad has some events coming up that we can't miss, so our family is coming to us for a few weeks to celebrate Hanukkah." Amanda tells the girls.

A little bit of relief hits me hearing that Amanda is staying over break. I was probably going to lean on her a lot, if my own plans didn't pan out.

"What about you, Riley?" Naomi asked, "Got any family coming to town?"

"I think my brother is coming back for good. Hopefully, before Christmas." I respond.

"You have a brother?" Casey asks, a bewildered look on her face.

"Wait, he's coming back?" Mel piped in, "Where's he been?"

"He's been in the military for the past several years."

"How did we not know this?" Casey asks again, obviously perturbed about this new fact.

I shrug casually, "I don't talk much about it." Also, you never asked.

"Well, that's awesome, Ri!" Naomi says, squeezing my arm next to me. Not even Naomi knew. Amanda was the only one at Harden Prep that I told. And Harry...

I take a deep breath in, "Yeah, we'll see what happens. It can be a little unpredictable, and I haven't heard from him recently."

"Do you have a picture?" Mel asked.

I nod, taking my phone out and pulling up an old photo of him. "This was from a few years back, so he doesn't-"

"Holy shit, he's hot!" Mel takes hold of my phone and basically salivates over him.

For the first time in what feels like forever, I laugh. The sensation is weird, cheeks bunching up in a way that felt unnatural and my lips felt awkward as they stretched out.

"Can you hook us up?" She says without taking her eyes off the picture.

"Uh, no, you're underage-"

"Only for another month!"

"And besides," I talk over her with amusement, "he's gay."

She frowns immediately, "Damn, keeps happening to me." We give her a look. "You guys remember that guy, Kevin, from Harlow High that I was talking to? Well, we had gotten all the way to his bed, half naked, when he shouted out that he's gay."