All This Time // H.S. // A.U.

Chapter Eleven

HARRY

I think I might actually be obsessed with Riley's hand.

Is that creepy?

Yeah, probably, but fuck it. I couldn't help loving the feeling of it in mine. It was so small, and surprisingly soft. The moment I took it, a shot of electricity tingled throughout my body. I didn't have a clue what she was doing to me, but at this point it was practically impossible to stop. I know last night, if I had gone home with her and she asked me to, I would've given her everything. I would've touched her like she's never been touched. I would've gladly and eagerly taken her virginity.

And I most likely would've regretted it.

Riley should be in love when she gave herself away like that. Or, at the very least, in like. She should have a guy who would take it easy and slow, hold her afterwards, kiss her like she was everything.

All I knew was fast and hard. And how to leave.

The more time I spend with her, though, the more my resolve crumbles. I find myself joking and laughing with her. I touch her more than what's appropriate for two friends. I definitely tease her more than I would with any other girl. Shari and I don't even talk like that. It's more straightforward: get naked and fuck each other's brains out with her. Whereas with Riley, it's all heart-pounding glances, hidden meanings behind innocent words, and electric touches.

Like her hand in mine.

Something so simple. Something I've never thought twice about. I've held girl's hands, of course, led them away from parties and people to push them against a wall or a tree.

How could something like holding her hand be sending me in such a downward spiral? Was I that weak?

Deep down, I was scared of all this. I was scared of letting myself accept... whatever this was between us. I knew it was more than just flirting and enjoying banter. I wasn't ready to admit it out loud though. Instead, I would stand here with her hand wrapped up in mine, claiming her in front of these guys that were ogling her as she took her shorts and my shirt off her body. They needed to know that she was off limits.

I think it was pretty obvious what I was doing. Her friend Brandon was giving her a knowing look, but she would just shake her head at him. She had the smallest smile on her face when I glanced down at her, her body close to mine. She looked more relaxed than last night when I had driven her home.

I had no clue what had changed so drastically from us dancing to her practically running out of the country club to my car. One moment I was trying to talk myself out of fucking her, and the next I was worried about her being alone. I wanted to ask her what was wrong. I was even close to asking if she wanted me to stay, but that wasn't my place. We had become friends, but not good enough for me to be there in a crisis.

So, instead, I drove her home in silence, watched as her hands shake and her eyes stare off in the distance. I felt lost as she struggled to get her seatbelt off, but found myself steadying her hands and doing it for her. I couldn't stop myself from sending her a quick text last night either. One I had rewritten several times.

I was even more surprised when she said it was okay to get together today, and how normal she seemed when I arrived at her house. Like nothing had happened the night before. I wanted to ask her what had happened, but I wasn't sure if I should.

That's the thing with Riley. I was never sure of anything with her.

That didn't stop me from coming over today and agreeing to hang out with a bunch of kids I don't know. Soon enough, we were on the river, a bundle of teens in their own tubes, some nicer than others. Both mine and Riley's had little handles on them, but her's seemed a little too big for her. I could practically picture her falling through the middle into the river.