All This Time // H.S. // A.U.

Chapter Forty-Seven

HARRY

Watching Riley leave for school got more depressing every day. Never had I thought I would miss school, yet here I was. Carol had been doing a great job at keeping me company and my mind off of things, but it was a constant reminder of everything that went wrong.

The surgery went well enough, my knee was in a brace to keep me from damaging it further. I was able to come home the day after, and had been practically bed bound since. The crutches I got were a pain, and Carol tried to limit my walking as much as possible, which meant she went out of her way to get my food, drinks, and anything I needed that didn't require a trip to the bathroom.

My guilt weighed heavily seeing her do so much, but the thing I noticed was how easily she did it all. That fatigue I was so used to seeing her live with was dwindling. Although she hated talking about her health and diagnosis - only because she didn't like to worry us - she had broke down and told how her treatments were going.

Apparently, after removing the mass, chemotherapy had started to do its job. It was still exhausting and the days after those sessions she had a hard time eating because of the nausea, but the cancer cell counts were starting to go down. In a month, she would finish this course of cycles, and the doctors would reevaluate a plan depending on how she was doing.

Riley was keeping her hopes tempered when it came to her mom. I understood why, but things felt different now. Her mom was obviously doing better, and while things could always take a turn, it was okay to hope. Carol's health was some of the reason why I had been able to keep some hope in my own situation.

There were many moments, though, where the darkness seeped in, mostly after school when Riley was getting me caught up on school work, or when a teammate would send me a text saying how much this must suck. The reminder was unnecessary, and I found myself ignoring them increasingly more.

Jeff, Mark, and Baylor had come over and I talked to Taylor over the phone, but other than that I hadn't bothered with anyone else. It was all fake anyways; everyone wanting to seem more significant to me than they were. Girls I let say they hooked up with me in the past text to make sure I didn't need anything; guys who were afraid of me and my reputation suddenly were offering to hang out with me after school to keep me company.

It was all bullshit. Utter bullshit.

The only real thing I had right now was Riley, her family, and my siblings. I hadn't been able to see them since thee accident, and I had a feeling our parents were keeping a close eye on their phones to see if we had any contact.

My dad was serious when he walked out, and my mother was no better than him for keeping away.

A weird sense of relief and ache settled in me. No longer did I need to worry about them, but there was still a hole inside me. A space my parents should be. One day I might close that gap, maybe even be grateful for their exit, but right now it hurt. And it would hurt for a while.

The only thing that kept my mind fully out of the dark was the hallmark movies that Carol made me watch. The soap opera wasn't my favorite, and she very quickly figured it out, turning on movies for us to watch. Currently, I have watched more than fourteen couples fall in love in the last three days, all seemingly in the same small town as the last.

It was comforting, to be honest. Knowing the outcome of these movies created a safe space for my mind, allowing it to turn to autopilot for most of the day. The men were generic, the women bland, yet I loved every second of them.

Thursday was the hardest day, though. Carol had made plans with some friends, and she was going to cancel them to be with me, but I made her go. She deserved some time to herself instead of sitting on the couch for hours at a time with a surly teenager. That left me alone with my miserable thoughts. I tried to watch tv and some movies but the hallmark channel was doing some sort of mystery marathon, and they just weren't working.