BETTER

Chapter 25

Blake

She looks so pretty in this chilly weather, cheeks red and a bright smile on her face.

"Blake.. let's go back, I'm tired" she says whining a little and I chuckle, she was acting like a child and I'd be wrong to say she wasn't looking cute right now.

"Okay but first you need to promise me you'll help me pick out a gift for Ethan" I demand and she just rolls her eyes at me.

"What's the occasion?" she asks looking at me with curious eyes.

"It's his birthday this friday and I thought I'd gift him something nice but honestly I can't think of anything" I say and she sighs before going on thinking mode.

"Okay" she says tucking her hair behind her ears, she looked so cute right now I wanted to reach out and play with her beautiful brunette hair.

"No offense but I'm not nerdy Blake and therefore I won't be of much help to you, I don't know what Ethan would like.... all I know is that he'd be happy if you gave him a book or something" she says looking at me, waiting for my reaction to see if I was offended or not.

In all honesty her words did offend me a little but I think I can let it pass, for tonight at least.... but what's life without a little teasing.

"Why do you think that nerds are only interested in books and nothing else?" I ask pretending to look offended by her words.

"I... I don't know but they're always around books so it makes sense right? To gift them books" she says but I can see the insecurity in her eyes.

"Nerds have a life outside of their bookish world as well, don't you know that?" I ask.

"Oh really? Well in that case I'd love to know what their world outside of books consists of?" she asks crossing her hands over her chest, challenging me.

I inch closer to her and all of a sudden I can feel my palms getting sweaty "Oh Ana don't you know that we nerds have desires as well, we too want to experience the love that we read about in books" I say in a low voice and see her pupils dilate.

"We are needy as well, don't you know that?" I ask with a wink and see her face turn red, our faces were so close, I could feel her warm breath fanning my face and all I wanted to do in this moment was to kiss her, feel her lips on mine one more time but I know better, I know I have to control myself and my desires.

I turned my face away from her and I could already see the disappointment in her emerald eyes, God I felt so bad but I know I did the right thing, she is still healing from the trauma her jerk of a boyfriend caused her and I don't want to take advantage of her situation.

She clears her throat before announcing "Okay okay I get your point, I'll help you out, I'll go to the mall with you tomorrow and then we'll pick out something for Ethan but for now please just take me home" she says in one breath and my eyes widen in shock.

She realises what she had just said and face palms herself before saying "I meant please drop me off at my apartment, it's cold out here.

I nod and decide not to comment on this, we walk to our car and I can see how uneasy she was feeling about this whole situation.

"Hey" I say grabbing her attention, the poor girl has already been through a lot I don't want to put her through anything that she's uncomfortable with.

"Hmm" she says in a small voice.

"Listen I was just kidding, you're right, we nerds wouldn't mind to get books as gifts, books are kinda our best friends" I say digging my hands into my jean pockets.

"I actually think I'll just gift Ethan a nice novel you know, he's a sucker for them" I say and she nods.

"Don't worry, I'll help you out, I know books must be very valuable to him but it's nice to gift something different every once in a while" she says earnestly.

"If you say so.... you'll be free after class tomorrow right?" I ask and she nods before saying "Yes I'll be free, I'm not very busy these days.

"Okay we'll go straight after class then" I say and she nods, I hate this awkwardness between us but there's nothing I can do.

I drive her off to her apartment after promising to help her with her assignments and head back to my own.

She has made it clear that she has no interest in me but her behaviour today indicated something else..... my head is so clouded with her thoughts, it's like I can't control myself whenever I'm around her, she might be the bad girl that everyone despises but I know the real her, I know that she has a good heart and that is what matters the most. I know how hurt she is from within and all I wish is to see her happy.

I know she would never want to date a nerd like me, I'm not half as cool as her or anyone of her friends that she hangs out with but there is still hope I think. Maybe one day she'd want to be with me the way I want to be with her, maybe one day I'll be able to hold her in my arms and love her the way she deserves to be loved.

What? Did I just think about loving her? Am I already in love with her?

I shake my head to get rid of these thoughts, it's too late and I'm too tired to think about something as serious as love.... my brain is making up stuff due to tiredness I think.... I need to sleep.